I found out my cousin is on steroids for his allergies. I suspended him from my house for the rest of the year.
Find it within yourself today to avoid any mention of current events because the world is horrible and wants to kill us all.
Idea: change the way people consume disposable products and change the way people think people are disposable.
People seem to be giving up dignity at the same pace as they are gluten.
Relax! Be natural with everyone, look people in the eye, have a firm handshake. Then you can just lie like a motherfucker all the time.
Always live for today, for tomorrow may never come. And if it does, it'll probably be even more boring and stupid than today.
Lift yourself up from the every day doldrums by thinking lofty thoughts and listening to beautiful music. Also drugs.
Every bag of ice should come with a tiny bottle of vodka hidden somewhere inside.