Today in E.W. Jackson news, we learn that the real reason young black men are getting shot while walking home from the corner store is because
they are too sexy.
Though asked about how as Lt. Governor he would stem violence, [Jackson] responded by attacking sex.
JACKSON: The first thing I’m doing, I do know, which is to say that I prefer “Americans of African decent.” I think we have got to stop balkanizing ourselves and racializing ourselves and first of all start thinking of ourselves as Americans, see these problems as American problems, not as black problems or white problems, but American problems and come together and work on them. I certainly intend to go into these communities where at risk youth are — I’ve been doing it all my life in ministry — and talk to them about the need for being married before you bear children. Stop treating your bodies as sexual objects. For men, to stay in the home and raise the children that they father. But this is not a short-term, wave your wand solution. We can’t solve this overnight. But we’ve got to begin to rebuild the family because in my view, that’s where the problem really lies.
Had Trayvon Martin been staying home with the imaginary child that he did not father, he would not have been shot; this is impeccable logic. It also stands to reason that most if not all community violence is caused by people being sexy at each other—I don't know why it took a mind of the caliber of E.W. Jackson to point this out to us, but now that he has mentioned it seems obvious that Americans only shoot each other because they find each other irresistibly attractive. If they would simply hold off on shooting each other until after they are married … no, that doesn't sound quite right. This may require more thought.
The good thing about E.W. Jackson, World's Greatest Republican is that he is predictable. No matter what the topic (poverty, violence, the budget, not being able to pay for your cancer treatments) the diagnosis will be that it has been caused by insufficient morality on the part of the victims, and the solution will be to require higher morality from them, at which point the underlying problem (poverty, violence, the budget, not being able to pay for your cancer treatments) will solve itself. He is the hammer; all of you are the nail.