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Last night, Stephen Colbert mocked Rep. Steve King (R-IA) as only Stephen can about his racist immigration comments.

Folks, after losing the Hispanic vote in 2012, the GOP wants to appeal to immigrants.  And the Republicans' secret weapon is Iowa Congressman and mortuary training doll Steve King.  On Monday, Congressman King warned us about the real dangers of granting citizenship to young illegals through the DREAM Act.
REP. STEVE KING, R-IA (7/18/2013): They aren't all valedictorians.  They weren't all brought in by their parents.  For every one who's a valedictorian, there's another 100 out there that weigh 130 pounds, and they've got calves the size of cantaloupes because they're hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert.  Those people would be legalized with the same act.
(audience groans and boos)

Come on, we all say it behind closed doors.  Mexicans have calves the size of cantaloupes.  All right?  Or honeydews, what have you.  A breakfast fruit of some kind.  A papaya, or a particularly large grapefruit, whatever.

And one of the best ways to choose who gets into this country is by what size produce their muscles are.  The point is, it's all about choosing the good ones.  Steve King knows that.

REP. STEVE KING, R-IA (5/21/2012): You want a good bird dog?  You want one that's going to be aggressive?  Pick the one that's the friskiest, the one that's engaged the most, and not the one that's over there sleeping in the corner. ... You get the pick of the litter, and you got yourself a pretty good bird dog.  Well, we've got the pick of every donor civilization on the planet.
Unbelievably, los Latinos were offended by the immigrants-as-dogs analogy.  Those people have such thin coats.  One of the people offended was friend of the show Univision anchor Jorge Ramos.

JORGE RAMOS: Congressman, you recently compared immigrants to dogs.

REP. STEVE KING, R-IA: No I didn't.  That's a mischaracterization. ... Did you watch the video, the full video?  That speech was about celebrating legal immigration.

JORGE RAMOS: It was not a celebration.

REP. STEVE KING, R-IA: And anyone that understands the language and the culture knows that if they saw the video.

Yeah, if you weren't such a foreigner, you'd get it!  Take the jumping beans out of your ears, Pedro!  Try again!

JORGE RAMOS: So from your point of view, you actually did not compare immigrants to dogs?

REP. STEVE KING, R-IA: That... I said that speech was about the vigor of legal immigration.  It was a very complimentary speech...

JORGE RAMOS: I don't think many knew that.

REP. STEVE KING, R-IA: ... and no, I did not do that.

Yes, when he was comparing immigrants to dogs — which he did not do — he was complimenting them.  The same way I'm complimenting Steve King when I call him a tool.  (audience cheering and applause)  Meaning... that's a celebration, OK?  Meaning a useful implement with which to say roof a house.  By the way, Steve King believes roof is the Spanish word for "hello", as in, roof roof.

So please, it's not about Mexicans being animals.  Steve King is just saying they are human beings who, if you pick the right ones, would make great pets.  I've already got one digging in my yard.

Luis is loyal, he's a member of my family, and at the first sign of hip dysplasia, I will send him to a farm upstate.  Literally.  I got a lot of string beans growing up there.

Video below the fold.

Stephen also noted that the town crier who announced the royal baby's birth was actually a fake, and then talked about Detroit's bankruptcy with Detroit Free Press columnist Stephen Henderson.
Meanwhile, John Oliver looked at the latest Goldman Sachs outrage where they're manipulating the price of aluminum by hoarding it.
He then looked at how hard it is for both parties to recruit good candidates to run for Congress.  Basically, because of the gridlock, you'd have to be an anti-government sociopathic asshole to want to run for Congress in this climate.
Stephen talked with former Senator Olympia Snowe (R-ME) about the gridlock in D.C., and John talked with former U.S. men's national team soccer coach and current Egypt national team's soccer coach Bob Bradley, which went long.  Here's the unedited interview in two parts.
Part 1
Part 2

Originally posted to BruinKid on Fri Jul 26, 2013 at 05:00 AM PDT.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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