I've always felt a personal responsibility to live up to the expectation of Southern hospitality. Every visitor gets more than a few chances to be friendly, and only a truly dedicated Yankee would ever see the rudeness simmering beneath my genteel exterior.
However, the good folks at Public Policy Polling have recently discovered that I may be alone in this attempt.. my neighbors in North Carolina truly have reached a limit. Maybe it's the assault on voting rights ushered in by the Supreme Court. Perhaps it's the hopelessness of a gerrymandered Republican legislature. Maybe it's the humidity.
Regardless of the cause, Californians suffering from the recent Sharknado will need to look elsewhere for help.
Here's the proof in black and white (your font colors may vary).
Q7: Would you support or oppose $50 million of federal aid for California to recover from the Sharknado?
Support....... 11%
Oppose........ 55%
Not sure...... 34%
It's not even necessarily their money.. it's federal aid, coming from the entire U.S., and yet my supposedly-caring fellow residents of the Old North State still can't find it in their hearts to help. At least 11% of us understand how devastating a natural disaster can be.
There is some signs of a scientific recovery in our state, however. Only 11% would send aid, but 13% would like to advance science.
Q8: Would you support or oppose $50 million for federal research into whether tornadoes can be dissipated by throwing bombs into them?
Support....... 13%
Oppose........ 66%
Not sure....... 21%
Lastly.. as a baseline for the respondent population of the poll, a frivolous question was tossed in just to see if anyone might be playing with the poll. Turns out, most folks were taking this one fairly seriously.
Q9: Would you support or oppose changing the national anthem to Miley Cyrus' "Party In The USA"?
Support....... 3%
Oppose....... 92%
Not sure...... 4%
Thank you, PPP, for opening my eyes. On behalf of my state, I apologize to California, and hope you can make it through this difficult time on your own.