Have you ever had a census-taker come to your house? (I always just get a form to mail in.) Did you eat his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti?
Have you ever ridden on a cable car?
Who wears the look better: Eddie Munster or Paul Ryan?
Do you like to gamble? Have you ever won anything?
What's in your glove compartment?
The Twitter Emitter
God is punishing us for thinking we know what God is punishing us for.— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) July 31, 2013
With all the pressing matters before Congress, I'm glad Darrell Issa found time to name all the water around the US after Reagan.— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) August 1, 2013
First I created stupidity. Then, to give it some place to go, I created people.— God (@TheTweetOfGod) August 1, 2013
As revenge for this Snowden mess, Obama should stick to the summit with Putin, but staff it entirely with flamboyant gay dudes. #takethat— daveweigel (@daveweigel) August 1, 2013
Al Qaeda leaders say they may take August off: "Let's give Ted Cruz's plan to bring America to its knees some more time to work"— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) August 1, 2013
Ariel Castro sentenced to life without possibility of parole, meanwhile Juror B37 isn't sure what he did was even a crime.— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) August 1, 2013
Look on the bright side #ArielCastro. At least you know how long you'll be trapped in a prison and why you're there.— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) August 1, 2013
Skinny jeans are a poor substitute for skinny genes.— God (@TheTweetOfGod) August 1, 2013
Glad the GOP blocked Obama's jobs bill. It wastes so much money fixing roads and bridges when the free market will just fix them by magic.— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) August 1, 2013
Senate confirms Samantha Power as UN ambassador, despite Republican concerns that she is intelligent, well-qualified and female— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) August 1, 2013
On This Day
In 1610, Henry Hudson discovered Hudson Bay, which he first thought was a passage that would lead through to the Pacific Ocean.
In 1776, the Declaration of Independence was signed.
In 1790, the very first U.S. Census was taken. It revealed a population of almost 4 million (3,929,326, to be exact).
In 1873, San Francisco's first cable car line began operations.
In 1923, President Warren G. Harding died of a heart attack in San Francisco, and Calvin Coolidge was sworn in as the 30th President of the U.S.
In 1934, Adolf Hitler became Führer of Germany.
In 1937, FDR signed the bill that made marijuana and all products produced by that plant (and related plants) illegal.
In 1943, PT-109 was sunk by a Japanese destroyer, and crewman John F. Kennedy managed to save the lives of most crew members, with only two fatalities.
In 1955, Alfred Hitchcock's To Catch a Thief, starring Cary Grant and Grace Kelly, premiered in Philadelphia.
In 1962, a Minnesota kid named Robert Zimmerman became Bob Dylan. (Damn good thing, too. That's not a name anyone would want to be associated with today.)
In 1967, the Oscar winning film In the Heat of the Night, starring Sidney Poitier, was released.
Born on This Day
1627 - Samuel van Hoogstraten, Dutch painter (d. 1678)
1674 – Philippe II, Duke of Orléans (d. 1723)
1740 – Jean Baptiste Camille Canclaux, French general (d. 1817)
1834 – Frédéric Auguste Bartholdi, French sculptor, designed the Statue of Liberty (d. 1904)
1859 - Georges Rochegrosse, French painter (d. 1938)
1865 – John Radecki, Australian stained glass artist (d. 1955)
1868 – Constantine I of Greece (d. 1923)
1871 – John French Sloan, American artist (d. 1951)
1875 – Mstislav Dobuzhinsky, Russian painter (d. 1957)
1881 - Gustave van de Woestyne, Belgian painter (d. 1947)
1882 - Albert Bloch, American painter (d. 1961)
1887 - Otto Morach, Swiss painter (d. 1973)
1892 – Jack Warner, Canadian-American film producer (d. 1978)
1902 – Pope Cyril VI of Alexandria (d. 1971)
1902 – Helen Morgan, American actress (d. 1941)
1905 – Myrna Loy, American actress (d. 1993)
1912 – Ann Dvorak, American actress (d. 1979)
1914 – Big Walter Price, American singer-songwriter and pianist (d. 2012)
1914 – Beatrice Straight, American actress (d. 2001)
1923 – Shimon Peres, Israeli politician, 9th President of Israel
1924 – James Baldwin, American writer (d. 1987)
1930 – Vali Myers, Australian painter (d. 2003)
1932 – Peter O'Toole, Irish actor
1937 – Garth Hudson, Canadian musician, composer, and producer (The Band)
1939 – Wes Craven, American director
1941 – Doris Coley, American singer (The Shirelles) (d. 2000) (aka Doris Kenner)
1942 – Isabel Allende, Chilean author
1944 – Jim Capaldi, English singer-songwriter and drummer (Traffic) (d. 2005)
1948 – Andy Fairweather Low, Welsh singer-songwriter and guitarist (Amen Corner and Fair Weather)
1950 – Lance Ito, American judge
1953 – Donnie Munro, Scottish singer and guitarist (Runrig)
1953 – Butch Patrick, American actor
1957 – Mojo Nixon, American singer-songwriter
1957 – Butch Vig, American drummer, songwriter, and producer (Garbage and Spooner)
1960 – David Yow, American singer-songwriter (Scratch Acid, The Jesus Lizard, and Qui)
1961 – Cold 187um, American rapper and producer (Above the Law)
1961 – Pete de Freitas, Spanish drummer (Echo & the Bunnymen) (d. 1989)
1962 – Lee Mavers, English singer-songwriter and guitarist (The La's)
1964 – Mary-Louise Parker, American actress
Died on This Day
640 – Pope Severinus
686 – Pope John V (b. 635)
1644 - Bernardo Strozzi, Italian painter (b. 1581)
1685 - Francisco Rizi, Spanish painter (b. 1608)
1696 – Robert Campbell of Glenlyon, Scottish military commander (b. 1630)
1788 – Thomas Gainsborough, English painter (b. 1727)
1859 – Horace Mann, American educator and politician (b. 1796)
1876 – Wild Bill Hickok, American lawman (b. 1837)
1883 - Pierre-Auguste Cot, French painter (b. 1837)
1908 - John Roddam Spencer Stanhope, English painter (b. 1829)
1917 - Raphael Kirchner, Austrian illustrator (b. 1876)
1913 - George Hitchcock, U.S. painter (b. 1850)
1921 – Enrico Caruso, Italian tenor (b. 1873)
1922 – Alexander Graham Bell, Scottish-Canadian scientist and engineer, invented the telephone (b. 1847)
1949 - Paul Kleinschmidt, German painter (b. 1883)
1972 – Brian Cole, American bass player (The Association) (b. 1942)
1976 – Fritz Lang, Austrian director (b. 1890)
1983 – James Jamerson, American bass player (The Funk Brothers) (b. 1936) (Rumor has it Marvin Gaye dragged a tipsy Jamerson out of a bar to play on this track, and he ended up playing the entire song on his back.)
1986 – Roy Cohn, American politician (b. 1927)
1997 – William S. Burroughs, American author (b. 1914)
1997 – Fela Kuti, Nigerian singer-songwriter, musician, and activist (b. 1938)
1998 – Shari Lewis, American television host and puppeteer (b. 1933)
2001 – Ronald Townson, American singer and actor (The 5th Dimension) (b. 1933)
2004 – Ferenc Berényi, Hungarian painter (b. 1929)
2004 – François Craenhals, Belgian illustrator (b. 1926)
National Ice Cream Sandwich Day
International Beer Day