Skip to main content

In a breaking news exclusive hot from the great state of Wisconsin we have learned that the arch nemesis of all things American, wolf in baby deer's clothing, and known terrorist "Dr Giggles" is dead.

In a co-ordinated strike one of Wisconsin DNR's finest death squads invaded an animal sanctuary, corralled at gunpoint the terrorist facilitating keeper staff, then in a tense shootout stormed the barn and slaughtered a tiny fawn whose YouTube vids of it giggling had terrorized a nation.

http://www.wisn.com/...

In an official statement from the Wisconsin Department of Wildlife Protection, Guns & Shootin Stuff Chief Glen Needleweiner had this to say:

"Following an anonymous tip off from our covert operative Curveball and an extensive covert surveillance operation involving drones, incursion teams, planes trains and automobiles, today we initiated a strike operation co-ordinated with sixteen local sheriff and police departments, the CIA, the ATF and DHD.
Nine valiant DNR officers from our elite Deer Team 6 took down with extreme prejudice the known terrorist Giggles, known by her nom de guerre "Dr Giggles". Dr Giggles was involved in possibly breeding biological agents for use in WMD and spreading messages of anti-American glee and awwww-shucks-aint-that-cuteness via YouTube and other terrorist communication channels.
After an armed standoff with Deer Team 6 resulted in a shoot out in which Dr Giggles was shot and killed 54 times, our agents found evidence including a half drunk bottle of baby milk and some slightly chewed straw.
In accordance with procedures Deer Team 6, led by their valiant and heroic advisor Sheriff Steve "Macho Man" Kessler and assisted from his circling AWAKs lair of doom Ted "The Bravest Man in America ever" Nugent, disposed of the corpse by weighing it down with chains, chucking it out of their hovering black helicopter and dumping it in a lake in an undisclosed location.
We have been accused by some pinko loving tree hugging members of the public of being trigger happy para-military bully boys. I would remind any bleeding heart libtards out there who think our actions were unjustified that they are anti-American commie scum, and they can suck on it or go live in some socialist commie fag enabling hellhole like Sweden."
Later reports include the following transcript of conversations between members of the elite strike team Deer Team 6:
Sound of cracking and moving through hay bales

"These fawns....f@cking punks..... they always get away with it....giggling n stuff."

"Man look at it - supposed to have little stick legs. This one has calves like cantaloupes. Running training camps out in the woods I bet, then running mary jane through the undergrowth at night."

"Yeah. Filthy little brown and cream punk"

"Shit Bubba! Lookee here! Thar's a pressure cooker and a hoodie!"

"Safety's off men - this ones a killer!"

"Look out Bubba! Its got a gun!"

Sound of 10 minutes of constant automatic gun fire

"Giggles Is Down! I repeat.... Giggles Is Down!"

A statement is expected from the President at 6pm.

Originally posted to Dave The Sandman on Fri Aug 02, 2013 at 07:45 AM PDT.

Also republished by Badger State Progressive.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site