Last night, Bill Maher did more than what most journalists have done other than maybe Rachel Maddow by exposing Art Pope, the Koch brothers wannabe, and how he's basically bought the government of North Carolina to reshape it into his personal right-wing wet dream.
And finally, New Rule: It's time for America to get off the sidelines and support a proud people in a region where religious freedom, women's rights, and democracy itself hang in the balance. I'm talking, of course, about North Carolina.
Now every year here at Real Time, we do our Stupidest State contest, and the competition is always fierce, especially from perennials like Texas, Florida, and Kansas. But North Carolina right now is going apeshit in a way no state ever has. Take every crazy angry idea your drunk right-wing uncle mumbles at Thanksgiving, turn it into a law, and that's North Carolina today.
We're talking about a state in the American South, mind you, passing a strict ban against the adoption of Sharia Law. Yeah, cuz the Muslim Brotherhood was just about to take over Greenville.
North Carolina now allows concealed guns in both bars — what I call the "What Could Go Wrong?" law — and playgrounds. Which is great, because now if your toddler gets knocked down in the sandbox, he can stand his ground.
And abortion? Oh my God. Let's just say in North Carolina, if you say, "I'm getting rid of my baby," you'd better mean you're selling your truck.
Now, people want to know, how did this happen? How did a state where Democrats well outnumber Republicans, a state that was trending blue, where Obama won in 2008, go completely insane? It looked like the knuckle-draggers had been defeated. And were dying off and being replaced by the kind of educated young urban professionals that John Edwards hits on at TGI Fridays.
What happened in North Carolina? Well, his name is Art Pope. That's what happened. And he's kind of the Koch brother from another mother. He's super-rich, super-anti-union, anti-tax, anti-big government, thinks government should have absolutely no role in helping the less fortunate, who should earn their money the same way he did — by inheriting it from their dad.
You know, until recently, rich assholes like this would just use their money to buy a Ferrari and splurge on hookers, and then kill them. And that's the America I like to remember. But in 2010, the Supreme Court issued their infamous Citizens United ruling, which raised the amount people could give to political campaigns from a few thousand to infinity.
It's why I was able to give Obama's PAC $1 million bucks. It's why Sheldon Adelson was able to spend $150 million against Obama. And it's what has allowed a guy like Art Pope on the local level to hijack an entire state and impose the laws he wants. Crazy laws that 4/5s of the people there don't want. But it doesn't matter what the people want, it's what Art Pope wants.
In the post-Citizens United world, it's no longer our ideas versus their ideas. Or even our base versus their base. It's our super-rich versus their super-rich. And theirs are winning. Which means ours have got to get in the game.
But who? Who? Who on our team....? (audience laughs and applauds as camera goes to Jay-Z sitting next to Bill)
Who on our team has that kind of money? Who might want to buy a state? I don't know, but if there's anyone out there who's done it all and is looking for some new thing to brag about...
Own a state,
It's my fate,
It's great.
I'm just saying the rhymes practically write themselves. (wild audience cheering and applause as Bill stares right at Jay-Z)
Daft Punk got lucky?
I just bought Kentucky!
(audience applause)
So come on, rich liberals. Pony up! Steven Spielberg, you should be taking over Wyoming right now! (audience cheering) For a mere $150 million, you could kick out Dick Cheney and his evil daughter, make it a liberal utopia, and put E.T. on the state flag!
(audience laughter and applause)
Tyler Perry, you could buy Montana and make yourself both Senators, and Madea the Governor! (audience laughter and applause)
And how great will it be on the day people can get gay-married in Oprahoma? (audience cheering and applause)
And now that someone's uploaded it onto YouTube, video below the fold.