"If a foreign enemy had plotted to infiltrate America, I’m not sure an army of undercover subversives could have done more damage than our government-run schools….Here I've had a kid in public school all this time, and not once did I realize what a dystopian gulag it was. How dare it try to stomp out "true science" like … intelligent desi … oh, what's the point. I can't even pretend to think Tony Perkins knows what "science" is, not even as satire. "Intelligent design" is a "science" the same way as tying your feet to the bumper of a car and gluing skateboard wheels to your face can be considered "carpooling." That they even chose the term demonstrates that they don't know what either of those two words mean.
Leftists don’t want a single American child to escape their thought control. And they are crowding out true education. […]
Today’s science classes often feature big-government political propaganda, taking time and focus away from true science. Not to mention attacks on the Bible and arrogant censoring of any theories like intelligent design that challenge their Darwinism."
Accompanying Perkins’ letter is a “Protect America’s Children Survey” which asks whether their local schools are experiencing a range of problems, including “Positive portrayals of homosexuality or negative portrayals of those who don’t affirm homosexuality,” “Not enough teaching of the Christian roots of America,” “Absence of presentation of intelligent design theory,” and “Not enough teaching on the virtues of limited government and free enterprise.”How dare the local school indoctrinate our kids by not teaching them only from a list of subjects approved by far-right crackpots. Stupid schools probably don't even properly discriminate against Jewish kids, either, what with their not believing Christ is Lord and stuff, and don't even get me started on them teaching all the damn constitutional amendments. If the Founding Fathers wanted us to elect senators by popular vote then they would have damn well put it in the original document, the real one that the government has been hiding from us this whole time, the one marked "We Luv Jeebus 4Ever" and "Scianse Get Out!" and on the back there's a map to the secret factory where Karl Marx and Leonardo da Vinci made all those fake dinosaur skeletons to bury around the world.
It no longer scares me that people like Tony Perkins exist. It does still scare me that there are dimwits out there who read this stuff and honestly think our elementary schools are a hotbed of not-enough-Bible-having and intolerable "propaganda" like basic goddamn genetics that everyone goddamn agrees on except for a bare handful of cultist anti-intellectual hermits who say it does not properly conform to pre-Copernican allegories written in The Magic Book. Sometimes it's difficult to figure out how humanity evolved past the point of licking apex predators for sport.