Skip to main content

Specially-trained patriotic privateers are America's first line of defense against embarrassing revelations about our awesome government

Thank God we escaped an imminent terrorist attack on our embassies! It gave a great opportunity for a few useful mouthpieces to remind TeeVee watchers that the threat is real and that their most important job is protecting us*.

In a bizarre NSA/Army/Whitehouse leak to The Daily Beast (or is that Newsweek?) on August 3rd, appropriate propagandists claimed that "Officials" had intercepted an Al Qaeda conference call as the excuse for launching a terror alert! just as Congress was beginning to put in some mouth time complaining about the US Armed Forces rifling through their constituent's (and perhaps their benefactor's) private affairs.

Some say that some interested members of the public are asking, "What exactly is an Al Qaeda conference call?" "Can you and your friends make your own Al Qaeda conference call through Google Hangouts?" "How about a Skype Group Call?" Sure! There's all sorts of free internet conference call outfits out there.

The NSA is so stupid, however, that even if you spoke English but faked a Middle Eastern accent on your Al Qaeda conference call, there would be huge multi-agency SWAT teams busting down your door at 3 AM the following morning. Heli-choppers, machine guns, tear gas, grenade launchers, bullet-proof vests and fancy homeland domestic combat uniforms — the whole nine yards. They'd take you in and lock you in a closet somewhere without food or water for days. Come to think of it, having your own Al Qaeda conference call could easily get you killed by zealots.

But hey! Did you know that Edward Snowden is escaping on (hard left-leaning!) President Evo Morales' plane? Neither do I, but intelligence "Officials" sure knew . . .

After a few thousand operator errors occur and lots and lots of Americans get their personal matters scrutinized by a bunch of fucking nerds, one might wonder if the NSA is more like a clown college than it is like a national security agency. Since they're part of the Department of Defense, surely they run a tight ship, hire only the best of the best, and are subject to an environment similar to the rigors of military discipline, aren't they?

Nah, they're loaded with more money than any of us know, they are a feeding trough for big defense contractors to wallow in. 70% of the NSA's money goes to corporate privateers — well connected privateers. No dumbass freelance Joe could waltz into headquarters and offer them up ideas or services. It's only the big boys that get to sell the scheme to implant long-distance RFID chips in falafel balls to track the bowel movements of dangerous Muslimaics (or anti-Wall Street protestors).

Nope, I think we're stuck having the Armed Forces spy on us forever. It's just too damn good for the business of the Homeland. If they took my personal advice and shut the whole damn outfit down, then that means the terrorist would win.

The NSA's job #1 is to keep existing. Job #2 is to grow, and one of the best ways of maintaining growth is to invent all sorts of new spy schemes and threats, and sell them to clueless and/or corrupt Officials.

Besides, they've been on a roll defending America and exposing new dangers, such as the formation of Al Qaeda in Egypt, who have swept in following the collapse of the Islamic Brotherhood. This new information means the terrorists are moving further west and present an ever-greater threat to the United States. Mushroom cloud.

They're working hard to protect America from threats in Brazil, too. And France, certainly Bolivia, and maybe even your neighbor next door.

* Us referring to the reputation and budget worthiness of the NSA.

Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags


More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (13+ / 0-)

    "Societies strain harder and harder to sustain the decadent opulence of the ruling class, even as it destroys the foundations of productivity and wealth." — Chris Hedges

    by Crider on Sun Aug 18, 2013 at 03:04:35 PM PDT

  •  Woolly Bully man. (4+ / 0-)

    Thanks for addressing this.  Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence and the GLOBAL TERROR ALERT issued by the Obama admin failed in that regard.  Just as under the Bush admin which has admitted to using terror alerts as a means of propaganda, it continues under Obama.  This one perhaps as egregious as any other coming on the heels of the NSA spying scandal and the tumult in the ME and Africa increasing.  
    A bullshit propaganda indoctrination tactic is what it was.  
    However, I was checking the timeline and noticed some MSM articles saying the threat could last for a few weeks.  Originally I thought they said two, but saw a few in some articles.  So technically we still have til next Friday.  
    So the MSM should be filled with more alerts at this point because the time is running out.  They should be warning the people that the "terrorists" might be finalizing their plan.
    Either that or they should lift the alert.  I wonder if they'll even bother.

    "America is the Terror State. The Global War OF Terror is a diabolical instrument of Worldwide conquest."

    by BigAlinWashSt on Sun Aug 18, 2013 at 03:30:07 PM PDT

    •  Ramping it up for the homeland (3+ / 0-)

      There was a bit of new news today about the Brits and Germans re-opening their Yemen embassies. I didn't know they had gone along with us and closed them.

      Al Qaeda or not, there's lots and lots of Yemenis who are pissed off at the US for doing those drone strikes. It's reasonable to imagine the American embassy there is under constant threat from even angry villagers or nationalists or what have you.

      Now that Congress has gone on vacation, the beltway hub bub about NSA domestic spying has sure died down!

      "Societies strain harder and harder to sustain the decadent opulence of the ruling class, even as it destroys the foundations of productivity and wealth." — Chris Hedges

      by Crider on Sun Aug 18, 2013 at 03:51:22 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Couldn't resist: (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BigAlinWashSt, Crider, Skatekey

    "Exxon’s CEO was recently quoted as saying, ‘What good is it to save the planet if humanity suffers?’, as if the future of humanity could be separated from the ecosystems on which we depend." -- Charlotte Wilson

    by Cassiodorus on Sun Aug 18, 2013 at 04:16:43 PM PDT

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site