Watching the Michigan 400 today, I was struck by advertisements for new drugs right and left. So, being the enterprising and thoughtful kinda' guy that I am, I went out to the kitchen to cook up a new drug. (Full dis-clothesure below the mangled curtain stand).
After I made my new drug, I had to make sure that my T.V. commercials listed a bunch of stuff that could go wrong if my new drug, approved by the FDA, wasn't taken correctly or by the wrong candidate before I cuould market it.
My new drug is called Myurpenix. Here's my list.
Myurpenix is not meant for people taking echo-steroids. Do not take Myurpenix if you are currently taking echo-steroids.
You may experience heightened anxiety and or depression while taking Myurpenix.
Do not take Myurpenix if you are currently taking Acutane, as exposure to sun light can result in painful blistering.
Tell your doctor about your drinking. Tell your doctor who your favorite recording artist
is.
Have you ever had an injury to your ribs?
Yankees, or Red Sox?
Watch your step. Watch your purse. Watch your back. Watch your mouth.
Ask your doctor when was the last time that he callled his mother.
Ask him if he'd rather have the lasagna instead of the ziti.
Tell you doctor if you've ever held any dilusions of grandeur.
Be candid with your doctor when you discuss your opinions on the merits of Leo Kotke.
But I fear that I am not yet done, so I need your help, good folks. Please add to the Warning Lable so that I can kick this thing into high-gear and become a job-creator! Have fun, and keep it clean.
nuthanger ( and mrs. nuthanger)