Followers of the Church of the Holy Shittersneed to know how to identify, fight against, and guard against bullshit. How bullshit is acquired within an individual, how it is dispersed between individuals and how the bullshitization process can be arrested and reversed are all of prime concern to our religion. Intense shitological studies conducted by Shitologists at the Shit for Brains Research Center have shed light on these processes. Although much more research needs to be conducted researchers have recently achieved a greater understanding of bullshitization by studying its similarity to the well know process of osmosis. They have coined the term Assmosis to codify these concepts. Below are their latest findings.
Osmosis: The movement of a solvent through a membrane separating two solutions of different concentrations. The solvent from the side of weaker concentration usually moves to the side of the stronger concentration, diluting it, until the concentrations of the solutions are equal on both sides of the membrane. The pressure exerted by the molecules of the solvent on the membrane they pass through is called osmotic pressure.
Informally, "osmosis" is the process by which information or concepts come to a person without conscious effort: i.e. "Living in Paris, he learned French slang by osmosis."
Reverse Osmosis: A process by which a solvent such as water is purified of solutes by being forced through a semipermeable membrane through which the solvent, but not the solutes, may pass.
The movement of a solvent in the opposite direction from osmosis in such a manner that the solvent moves from a solution of greater concentration through a membrane to a solution of lesser concentration.
Assmosis: The movement of bullshit between two humans of different intellectual concentrations. The bullshit from the side of the weaker concentration usually moves to the side of the stronger intellectual concentration, diluting it, until the concentrations of the solutions are equal on both sides. The pressure exerted is called assmotic pressure. Assmotic pressure provides the energy driving assmosis and is important for living humans because it allows bullshit to pass through brain cell membranes.
Informally, "Assmosis is the process by which bullshit is absorbed into a person's mind without conscious effort. i.e. Living in the U.S., he learned that George W. Bush kept us safe from terrorism by assmosis.
Reverse Assmosis: A process by which cognition such as human thought is purified of bullshit by being forced through a semipermeable membrane through which the truth, but not the bullshit, may pass.
or stated a little differently:
The movement of a good correct thought in the opposite direction from assmosis in such a manner that the thought moves from a solution of greater bullshit concentration through a membrane to a solution of lesser bullshit and greater truth.
Shitologists have identified many sources of assmotic pressure causing human assmosis. Traditional faith-based church pulpits are a major source. Another is media outlets such as Fox News Channel and conservative talk radio shows such as Rush Limbaugh. By carefully mixing their messages in spin-cycle water they are able to insert bullshit into a person's brain. Through the process of assmosis an individual absorbs the mixture and incorporates the bullshit contained into their everyday thought processes resulting in significant distortions of the truth.
Once researchers identified assmosis it didn't take long to discover reverse assmosis. To understand it better we must once again look at osmosis.
Osmosis is a natural process. When two liquids of different concentration are separated by a semi-permeable membrane, the fluid has a tendency to move from low to high solute concentrations in order to achieve chemical potential equilibrium.
The largest and most important application of reverse osmosis is the separation of pure water from seawater and brackish water; seawater or brackish water is pressurized against one surface of the membrane, causing transport of salt-depleted water across the membrane and emergence of potable water from the low-pressure side.
It is a similar process with reverse assmosis. Reverse assmosis is the process of forcing bullshit from a region of high bullshit concentration through a semipermeable membrane to a region of low bullshit concentration by applying a pressure in excess of the assmotic pressure. The most important application of reverse assmosis is to the separation of pure truth from the bullshit. Bullshit is pressurized against one surface of the membrane, causing the transport of bullshit across the membrane and leaving the truth as the residual.
The discovery of assmosis and reverse assmosis have significant implications for man's ability to tackle some of our most pressing environmental problems. For instance the idea of clean coal is an oxymoron but because of assmosis it creeps into people's thought processes as being a reality. The same is true of the idea of safe nuclear power. Safe nuclear is not a reality but through the application of assmotic pressure and the resulting assmosis people are led to believe that it exists.
Assmosis is a naturally occurring process allowing bullshit thinking to enter our minds. Left unchecked it has been and will continue to dilute truth and distort our thinking. By the successful encouraging of reverse assmosis, this infiltration of bullshit into our thinking can be counteracted and truth can once again prevail.
Ass-forward thinking, practiced by the Church of the Holy Shitters, is one source of greater pressure to encourage reverse assmosis and overcome assmosis in our minds.
The Church of the Holy Shitters will post articles on our holy S.H.I.T. day ( So Happy It's Thursday)
Last week: 8/15/13 - Shitology
Next week: 8/29/13 - Thought Constipation Syndrome - Enema Within!
Hoping to add some humor, provoke thought, spark debate, deepen understanding, and shed some light on the fecal side.Remember: "If we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit." ( Shitbit by Poop John the First of the Church of the Holy Shitters)Church of the Holy ShittersA secular environmental religion, scientifically based, with a focus on the psychology of it all. Our ego is the culprit when it comes to dealing with climate change. We cannot save the planet. We can only save ourselves. Our current egotistical self-perception makes that prospect a dubious one at best. Meekness, humility and a realization that our shit does stink, guides us on our path to true sustainable living and climate equilibrium.
Cross posted at http://holyshitters.com/