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Every time I see James Clapper, Keith Alexander or Michael Hayden I'm supposed to feel safe and secure. I'm supposed to believe they are keeping me safe from foreign and domestic enemies. I would, except, because I post here and have gone to a protest or two over the years; I think they've labeled me the enemy. How many of us landed in the "red" zone by just dealing with day-to-day living?

That's nuts!

OK, if I'm honest...I think a confession is in order.

The most nefarious thing I've done lately is serve Mojitos while I made and served an (internet researched) high fiber salad under a gloppy high fat/high sodium salad dressing followed by a high calorie, cholesterol laden entree (with buttery vegetables) finished off with an equally high fat/high sugar fruity desert; but at least I served the salad and entree with a "healthy" Merlot. Yeah, but those after dinner aperitif's....sigh, Mika would call that dinner criminal. My guests? They said it was heavenly.

Apparently our search history is cached and subject to key word searches. hmmm. That could be problematic for me as I'm both curious and a good researcher.


I wonder if I've led an NSA analyst to his hyperlipdemic demise.....but that is harmless compared to the fact that I've read the actual NSA files, checked out the Wikileaks site and have gone to all sorts of sites including al Jezeerza, rt, ACLU, and The Guardian. I've gone to sites my internet virus minder objects to. It gets worse. My nephew visited and he used the opportunity to fully explore the kama sutra and all manner of porn while I left the teenage boy alone with my laptop in the middle of the night (what was I thinking!) Could I be labeled a sexual deviant?

Due to my work I've researched hydrocodone, oxycodone, xanex, fentanyl and more as inquiries appeared. Not only that, but I've also researched poisonings, all manner of accidents, assaults, self injuries and medical misadventures. True, those inquiries were to research proper medical coding and risk management concerns, but the exposure is there. Could I be labeled a homicidal druggie?

Due to entropy, our house and appliances have needed attention. I researched aluminum electrical wiring, electrical boxes associated with fires and failing to "blow" breakers. My clothes washer needed a new timer, my sister's oven needed a new thingamabob and the hot water heater needed a new whatchamacallit. Our A/C needed a serious coil cleaning which called for serious, noxious chemicals. Then, there's the pool. Those chemicals are highly corrosive and are surveiled. I've recently switched from a sand filter to a Diatomaceous Earth (DE) filter and while I was at it I looked to see if I could get a better deal on all the other noxious chemicals needed to keep my pool water clear. For some reason, we had to sign to receive the DE. I don't understand that and surely hope DE cannot be turned into a bomb from the 25lb size that I ordered. OMG! Could I be suspected of being a terrorist? Dear lord, why didn't I do this research at Starbucks?

Due to my husband's business I've had a lot of computer equipment delivered to the house. We have multiple servers and backups with terrabytes of storage. We have fairly sophisticated printing, copying, faxing and scanning all from here. We have solar (ok, that indicates some benigness) power back ups as well as gas power generators. The only thing we don't have is an air spaced device as we aren't too worried (....but maybe that should change). It's not that we're doing anything wrong, it's more about can what we do be manipulated into looking criminal. Aw, hell, a hacker. Srsly?

Then there's my brothers. One asked what napalm and ammonium nitrate is comprised of and used for. The other wanted to know why castor beans are scary to law enforcement. You'd think my husband would be on my side, but no. He wanted to know if we had anything in the house that had arsenic in it, so he could put it in the shed. The final "betrayal" is my daughter who wanted to know how to create cosplay props. That sent me on a quest on how to make swords, shields, halberds and that thing that looks like a whip on a chain with a pointy thing on the end that Quistis swings at her enemies. God only knows what they can make of this.

Speaking of cosplay, I have a lot of internet research on all sorts of what could be considered disguises. I've researched and helped create wigs, hats, belts, dresses, jackets, coats and lots more to make my daughter look nothing like she really is. I'd be so pumped up if they think I'm a master of disguise.

I must admit I haven't searched for a pressure cooker as I had an unfortunate experience cooking kidney beans with one some years ago. I didn't secure the lid correctly and I ended up with beans everywhere including on the ceiling, across the room, behind the stove, fridge and out in the back yard as the back door was blasted open (no one was hurt). Some 6 months later, I found a dried bean behind the 400lb. TV (which is why I hadn't found it for 6 months) about 25 feet from the blast zone. The pressure cooker? It happily (if pots can be happy) came through the ordeal intact and I hope the new owner who bought it at the thrift store is still "happy" with it as I was not.

Backpacks? Luckily, I haven't had to buy one for years.

Dear lord. I'm so pwned...screwed?

Fri Aug 23, 2013 at 6:30 AM PT: Thank you Rescue Rangers.

Originally posted to JDWolverton on Thu Aug 22, 2013 at 05:47 PM PDT.

Also republished by Community Spotlight.

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