AUGUST 29, 2013
OBAMA PROMISES SYRIA STRIKE WILL HAVE NO OBJECTIVE
POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Attempting to quell criticism of his proposal for a limited military mission in Syria, President Obama floated a more modest strategy today, saying that any U.S. action in Syria would have “no objective whatsoever.”
“Let me be clear,” he said in an interview on CNN. “Our goal will not be to effect régime change, or alter the balance of power in Syria, or bring the civil war there to an end. We will simply do something random there for one or two days and then leave.”
“It may take twenty-four hours, but it could also take twelve,” Mr. Carney said.Bang. On.
“Maybe we get in there, take a look around, and get out right away. But however long it takes, one thing will not change: this mission will have no point. The President is resolute about that.”