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I was out shopping for groceries earlier this evening and I noticed this young woman who was at least 40 years younger than me--I expect that she was somewhere around twenty. At any rate, she wasn't buying stuff for the microwave. Based on what I saw in her cart she was looking to spend some time in the kitchen. And, sorry Beach Babe, there was some meat in her cart.

This young woman not only struck me as extremely beautiful, but she also looked very familiar. We were in the produce section and to be honest I had a hard time avoiding eye contact. I even doubled back and crossed her path a second time while avoiding eye contact.

I'm well past the age where I'm looking to pick up women in the grocery store or anywhere else for that matter, but as long as I was in the store I couldn't stop thinking about her.

That was a couple of hours ago and I'm still thinking about her and I'm nearly certain that I've seen her before and assuming that was the case why can't I remember where I saw her previously?

She was partway out of my mind while I did most of my shopping, but guess who shows up in line right behind me when I'm checking out? Right on!

I looked and for a few moments I thought to say something, but I checked out of the store without saying a word to her. Then I started asking what's wrong with you, meaning me.

Of course, as I was pulling out of my parking place this beautiful girl was leaving the store and I waited while she crossed in front of me.

This a small town and I'm fairly confident that I will see her again in which case I might just say hello, but who knows.

Poll

Should old guys like me engage familiar looking women?

39%82 votes
42%90 votes
17%37 votes

| 210 votes | Vote | Results

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Comment Preferences

  •  Perhaps it means (15+ / 0-)

    that I'm still alive.

    The only trouble with retirement is...I never get a day off!

    by Mr Robert on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 06:24:25 PM PDT

  •  Just like the old man in that book by Nabokov.... (4+ / 0-)

    -4.75, -5.33 Cheney 10/05/04: "I have not suggested there is a connection between Iraq and 9/11."

    by sunbro on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 06:29:46 PM PDT

  •  My memory of being her age (21+ / 0-)

    is that if an older gentleman engaged me pleasantly and non-creepily--a smile and hello--that was perfectly nice.  You said you weren't looking to pick her up, so go ahead and say hi.  After that, if she feels like talking, she will, and if she doesn't, you've said hi.

  •  I feel bad for women (19+ / 0-)

    I understand there's trauma and fear that comes with those who see them as prey. I'm not at all saying you do! But there are reasons why women avoid looking at men.

    Anyway, in this case, I guess if she looks familiar and you're not looking for anything other than knowing why, and who she is, you can ask her.  It's all in the way you do it. Talk to her like you would a young man. How would you express this to a 20 year old fellow?

    Dear NSA: I am only joking.

    by Shahryar on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 06:33:08 PM PDT

  •  There Was A Story Days Ago (7+ / 0-)

    that went viral. Of this man that saw a women on the train. It was neat to read, then you get close to the end and you realize that man had saw this same lady on a train for 60+ years.

    Never talked to her.

    http://www.policymic.com/...

  •  if I may offer a suggestion, after a certain age (19+ / 0-)

    you will find that the young women who are vaguely familiar usually turn out to be one of your daughter's HS friends or, as you age, your granddaughter's HS friend.

    That is the natural order of things unless your name is Limbaugh or Trump or somesuch.

    •  How I wish that was the case (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      FiredUpInCA, kyril

      I'd love to have children, but in spite of being married for a few years I don't have any children so I'll have to look for other explanations.

      The only trouble with retirement is...I never get a day off!

      by Mr Robert on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 07:08:08 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Yes. At 44 I Find That Is The Case (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Mr Robert, kyril

      I often see an attractive women and think to myself I could have a kid that age, if I had a kid. Makes me wonder what to say, or say anything to the person.

      •  It's been quite some time since I was 44 (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        kyril

        but I do know that feeling and for at least the last 15 years I've acted accordingly.

        The only trouble with retirement is...I never get a day off!

        by Mr Robert on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 07:13:36 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  my step grandma in law is 20 years my junior (7+ / 0-)

        I think in America we are too hung up on ages. We discard the very elderly and if we are single shun families with kids.

        I think we miss out by not congregating in a diversity of ages.

        “Conservation… is a positive exercise of skill and insight, not merely a negative exercise of abstinence and caution…” Aldo Leopold

        by ban nock on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 07:41:35 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  How true (3+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          kyril, ban nock, Otteray Scribe

          I went back to college to finish a degree in Social Sciences when I was in my late 50s and proceeded to look around for a job after graduation.

          As it turned out, the only jobs in the local area were for preschool teachers. So I went back and took the additional Early Childhood Education classes needed to qualify for a job as a preschool teacher.

          Well, one of the factors in my decision making was that I didn't have children of my own. I had no idea what it was like working with young children and I felt that something was missing.

          As it happens, I landed a job where I spent about half my time with 3/4 year olds and half my time with school age children. And, that year of teaching left me with some wonderful memories--I loved it.

          In my earlier career I was pulling down well over $100K per year and my salary as a preschool teacher didn't come close, but it was time well spent and I have no regrets.

          The only trouble with retirement is...I never get a day off!

          by Mr Robert on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 08:01:22 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        •  Not Me (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          ban nock

          My childeren are around the age of the young lady in the story.  I still do things with them, when they let me.  We exercise, at the YMCA, specifically because there are so many young people compared with the typical fitness club.  You can count me in for any concerts, any kind of free cultural stuff, or any people gathering in the great outdoors.

          I met some charming, and inebreated young ladies while attending The Black Crowes.  I might have been the youngest guy at Dickey Betts!  The point is their is a built in kinship and commonality, a foundation for a closer human connection.

          Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. ~ Frank Zappa ~

          by NCTim on Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 06:15:09 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

    •  Or it could be the daughter or someone (0+ / 0-)

      That you knew that looks a lot like her mother or grandmother.

      I have seen some daughters and granddaughters that are the "spittin' image" of their parent or grandparent.



      Women create the entire labor force.
      ---------------------------------------------
      Sympathy is the strongest instinct in human nature. - Charles Darwin

      by splashy on Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 12:09:33 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  What I find is this: (0+ / 0-)

      A young person looks familiar to me and I try to think where I know him from. Then I realize he looks like someone I knew 40 years ago, as he was then - but that person will now be an old person like myself.

      People we haven't seen in decades don't age in our minds.

  •  I'm only curious and there is no need for you to (7+ / 0-)

    answer, but I wonder if it is her age or her beauty that is more daunting? And if either were different, i.e. if she were less young or unbeautiful, would that influence either the desire or the choice to begin a conversation?

    Dance lightly upon the Earth, Sing her songs with wild abandon, Smile upon all forms of Life ...and be well.

    by LinSea on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 07:06:41 PM PDT

  •  Why does she have to talk to you? (25+ / 0-)

    Look at it from a woman's perspective.  You basically followed her all over the store trying to look at her (and if I were her my spidey-sense would have been tingling by the time I saw you again in the parking lot).

    You were solely drawn to her by her appearance, unsurprising given that she is young and beautiful and you (like me) are an older man.  There's no harm in enjoying the view, discreetly and without asserting yourself aggressively into a woman's field of consciousness by staring or stalking or leering.  

    But what you describe went beyond a discreet and private appreciation of someone's beauty.

    You know you are stretching the facts with the bit about her looking "familiar." Every guy has considered that line at one time or another as an excuse to explain why they are staring at a beautiful woman or as an opening pitch when they have no other point of commonality with the object of their interest ("Do I know you?" is one of the most banal of pickup lines because it is so rarely sincere).  

    If she's really that "familiar," you'd recognize her, or it would have come to you by now where you knew her from. (And don't say "your dreams!")  Or you really never knew her even if you were once in the same driver's license line with her or something.  We men don't struggle to remember the faces of beautiful young women we actually know in any legitimate context.

    Look at it from her point of view and ask yourself why she owes you a response?  You weren't drawn to her by her character, her work ethic, her religious sincerity, her talents, or her knowledge. You thought she was hot.  

    Nothing wrong with thinking that.  But it doesn't give you a definitive right to speak with her, and doesn't require her to pay polite attention to a man whose sole interest up that moment is in her sexual being. (And a man who admits he is not in a position to date her even if she is single, has no reason to express interest in her as a sexual being except to please himself.)  

    Women of her generation, especially (I say this as a college teacher) find the expectation that they must respond to your flattering gaze and comments politely when your interest is (at that moment) purely an objectifying self-interest (and perhaps a bit of a momentary obsession, because men are wired like that) to be sexist.  And creepy.  

    Most women don't want to be told they look pretty or hot or familiar or anything else about their body or their appearance by a strange man in a situation that is not marked as a context for making romantic connections with appropriate partners.  They interpret such comments as hostile, not friendly, because they ultimately are at best selfish and at worse threatening.  A strange man commenting on a woman's appearance, even positively, is more likely to make her feel bad than good.

    It's something a lot of men, myself included, have had to learn from feminists in recent decades.  We are not entitled to women's attention because we like the way they look, and we are not being polite or kind when we comment on the way they look.  

    You don't have a right to a woman's attention because you think she's pretty.

    •  Sorry, but (4+ / 0-)

      I think you just might be projecting your own feelings here.

      I certainly wasn't following her, I just encountered her in the produce section and sent on my way. The only reason I encountered her a second time was because I'd forgotten an item.

      Finally, when I was checking out she pulled up behind me.

      That's all I have to say in response to your rather strange comment.

      Good night and good luck.

      The only trouble with retirement is...I never get a day off!

      by Mr Robert on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 07:25:01 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  You're not answering the substance (10+ / 0-)

        of my comment.

        Granting that you accidentally saw her three or four times while shopping for 20 minutes and that you weren't just a little bit, shall we say, focused on her whereabouts, you still are asking for permission (in a metaphorical sense) to hit on a woman you don't know because you think she's pretty, in a circumstance where most women don't want to be hit on (sorry, "talked to" even though you don't know her) and aren't performing their prettiness for your benefit or acknowledgment.

        You asked.  I'm telling you a lot of young women I know would consider an older man accosting them in a store and saying "gosh, you're so pretty and you look familiar to me somehow" as creepy behavior.

        Sorry, didn't mean to imply you acted improperly.  We have only your representation of it.  But as the father of a daughter I'd want her to be aware of a older man paying just a bit too much attention to her in a supermarket.  And I wouldn't expect her to give flattering comments from such a man any acknowledgment whatsoever.  

        Dude, women are people.  You can flirt with them if the situation is appropriate and they are flirting back with you.  If you find yourself on a grocery line with someone you think is a attractive you can comment on the weather or the slow line.  But telling a woman you don't know you find her attractive in an everyday setting is sexist behavior.  Some women won't mind.  A lot will.  

        •  Are you reading impaired or what? (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          claude

          There's a complete disconnect between your comments and what I said in my diary.

          I wasn't trying to come on to her, she just looked familiar.

          I wasn't flirting with her, I was simply doing my shopping and came across someone who looked very familiar. I sure as shit wasn't accosting her or even considering telling her that she was attractive. At most I might have said hi and mentioned that she looked familiar.

          So fuck off Rocket.

          The only trouble with retirement is...I never get a day off!

          by Mr Robert on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 07:49:32 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        •  I appreciate your perspective. (17+ / 0-)

          I never realized how much attention I got from being young and good looking til I was....well, no longer young and good-looking. For me it was an illness that took my hair and aged me about a decade in a few years. All of a sudden I'm invisible.
          My opinion? If you had actually struck up a conversation with her, you probably would not be the first man that day, and probably not even the first man in that grocery store.
          You would make a lot more of a positive impact if you helped carry some groceries to a car for someone who looked less than fully able, or smiled and were friendly to the poor overworked checkout clerk. You might even meet someone interesting that way, romance or no.
          I realize it sounds cynical. And I'm not criticizing you. I just think that men don't often realize just how intrusive it can get to have your attractiveness evaluated many times a day, even if it is positive. And no, I don't miss it. I do miss my health.  

          To keep our faces turned toward change, and behave as free spirits in the presence of fate--that is strength undefeatable. (Helen Keller)

          by kareylou on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 08:09:12 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  Oops I replied to Rocket as if I were (3+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Mr Robert, LinSea, tobendaro

            talking to the diarist. Since Rocket doesn't tell me how he behaves in a grocery store I wouldn't presume to give him advice on such!

            To keep our faces turned toward change, and behave as free spirits in the presence of fate--that is strength undefeatable. (Helen Keller)

            by kareylou on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 08:10:42 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

        •  What are you hoping would result from (3+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Chi, LaraJones, Island

          such conversation? And what would you have to say that would be of interest to her?

      •  "Doubling back" to cross her path (5+ / 0-)

        For a second time kinda sorta sounds a bit like following.

        Are you certain you didn't mean to post this on Craigslist?

        religion is the smile on a dog...

        by lbl1162 on Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 05:57:40 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  RocketJ comment is spot on (8+ / 0-)

        not at all "strange". The fact you called it strange just shows how blinded by male privilege you are.

        From the age 13, I've had adult males  saying (and in a couple of cases doing) creepy ass things to me.
        It's not just me either, it's happened to my friends and I notice it in public. (and when I see men ogling pre teens and teens I yell unprintable things at them. It's disgusting.)
        My friends 11 year old daughter  (and she looks 11) is subjected to this harassment. (It's called street harassment btw)

        This is actually a very unwanted rite of passage for girls!!

        You men expect us to be friendly and flattered by your usually unwanted attention. How often have you told women to smile, women you don't know?

        Your behavior in the store, if she noticed it, at best annoyed/disgusted her, at worst scared her.

        I'm so damn sick of explaining this to men, and even when another man tries to tell you why your behavior is creepy and wrong you blow him off.

        You are That Guy: every guy who tells us to "smile" or say "hey beautiful"  or grab our body parts and we're supposed to be flattered and appreciative of your behavior.
        It's disgusting and infuriating.  

        "Growing your own food is like growing your own money" Ron Finley guerilla gardener extraordinaire. http://ronfinley.com/

        by pitbullgirl65 on Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 07:50:04 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  Wow...take a breath, dude. Seriously. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Mr Robert

      There's more faux psychoanalysis in this comment than one finds in an episode of Frasier.

      The word "parent" is supposed to be a VERB, people...

      by wesmorgan1 on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 09:05:03 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  I hold the right to speak with whomever (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Mr Robert

      I damn please.

      Obviously, the reception to that will depend entirely on how I say what, but, guess what,  humans do communicate with each other.

      I, too,  have  learned from women; I don't presume to speak for them.

      don't always believe what you think

      by claude on Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 08:45:59 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Why not? (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Mr Robert, DaveinBremerton, claude

    Before I married pretty much all my girl freinds were very young,, and beautiful in my opinion. Young beautiful women are used to having men be interested in them. They like it when someone is genuinely and openly nice to them.

    When I married I used to get hateful looks from middle aged women. My wife was young and looked much younger. Almost two decades later and never a serious disagreement. She still buys clothes from the teen section. A good relationship is priceless.

    “Conservation… is a positive exercise of skill and insight, not merely a negative exercise of abstinence and caution…” Aldo Leopold

    by ban nock on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 07:22:18 PM PDT

    •  "They like it when someone is genuinely and openly (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      chicago minx, LaraJones

      nice to them"...yes, if that's what they're gleaning from the encounter. All women, attractive or not, like that. There is something different about someone following you around, even discreetly, that is creepy. Also, attractive intelligent women get tired of people reacting to just their looks. Clearly, if you haven't had a conversation you are only reacting to her appearance. It's understandable because we all like beauty, it's just superficial admiration. About those middle aged women...you may want to consider their apparent 'hateful looks' have more to do with the never ending reminder that once they lose their good looks, they are essentially ignored. When they are young and attractive they receive all kinds of attention. When things start to change, poof, no attention. The message is clear and superficial.

      you get what you give

      by chicagobleu on Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 07:02:21 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Yeah, god forbid your wife should have aged (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      chicago minx, churchylafemme

      or maybe got a wrinkle or two.

    •  No, they don't necessarily like it when men (5+ / 0-)

      are interested in them, and just trying to be "nice" to them.  Maybe they just want to go about their business and not be bothered by horny men.  I am tall;  my daughter is tall and pretty at 14 and already she is getting unwanted attention.  It's not up to us to deal with male's preoccupation with this stuff.

      and that guy is getting a fake name and a phone number with six digits

      by chicago minx on Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 08:14:55 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Gentlemen of any age initiate conversations (11+ / 0-)

    only with ladies (of any age) to whom they have been properly introduced. There are exceptions, of course -- in case of offering help of some sort, in either direction, or if you are in a bar or coffeehouse where the understood point of being there is to meet people. And I am certainly not excluding a friendly greeting, especially in towns or small cities where this is the norm.

    But as a general rule, it is the safest way to go.  

    Mark E. Miller // Kalamazoo Township Trustee // MI 6th District Democratic Chair

    by memiller on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 07:31:19 PM PDT

    •  To be clear (9+ / 0-)

      it is not just "initiating conversations," but doing so because you find someone attractive, and whether or not you vocalize a comment about their appearance.

      It's not faux psychoanalysis.  I guess folks around here don't read feminist blogs much?  This is a huge topic of discussion online.  

      The poll in this diary gives away the subtext in my opinion.  Why on earth would you "engage" someone you found looked "familiar" (but not familiar enough to place them of course), and why would you make so much of a deal over how beautiful you find someone who also just happens to look "familiar."

  •  If you really think you know her from somewhere (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Mr Robert, LinSea, madhaus, Chi

    you can just ask her. But if she says she doesn't know you, then that's the end of it, no matter how beautiful she is.

    •  She certainly looked familiar to me (0+ / 0-)

      Had I mentioned that fact to her that would have been the end of it in any case. As I said at the top, I was only shopping for groceries when I saw her--I wasn't looking to meet anyone.

      The only trouble with retirement is...I never get a day off!

      by Mr Robert on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 08:24:50 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Indeed - there's nothing wrong with... (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Mr Robert, Hoghead99, Chi

      ..."Have we met?" if the situation allows.  If the answer is no, then that's the end of it.

      Given that I have 3 college-age daughters (a third-year and 2 first-years) with seemingly infinite circles of friends/teammates/whatnot, I can't set foot in a mall, high school or college campus within a 75-mile radius of my home without seeing some young person I think I know.

      FWIW, I usually can't remember their male friends' names either...**laugh**

      The word "parent" is supposed to be a VERB, people...

      by wesmorgan1 on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 09:22:06 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Probably one of my daughters (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Mr Robert, buddabelly, Rashaverak, Chi

    The three of them are unusually intelligent as well.  Anyway, that's Dad's unbiased opinion.

    "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win". Mohandas K. Gandhi

    by DaveinBremerton on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 08:26:10 PM PDT

  •  Give it up (7+ / 0-)

    A good man knows his limitations.

  •  as a guy closing in on 50 myself (23+ / 0-)

    I say.. dont be a creepy old dude.

    Its one thing to perhaps fall into a conversation by happenstance, its entirely another to try to plan to.

    And dont take this the wrong way, but if you are still thinking about her hours after the "encounter",  your being creepy.

    Hey I dont like getting older either, I still wish I was young again, because I feel like Im still in my 20s, but the mirror says otherwise.

    So I simply try to grow old gracefully, and embrace my age and all the good things with it, and being creepy is something you do have to avoid.

    I have a couple buddies who once in awhile especially at restaurants will say something creepy to our waitress, and I have to remind them.

    •  Good advice (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      churchylafemme
      simply try to grow old gracefully
      Well, I'm past thinking about her and I'm doing my best to accept the limitations that come with age and act appropriately.

      Perhaps that's the reason I didn't talk to her, suppose?

      The only trouble with retirement is...I never get a day off!

      by Mr Robert on Sun Sep 01, 2013 at 08:45:33 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Yes this (6+ / 0-)

      It's hours later and you compose an elegy to Our Lady of Safeway that speaks repeatedly of her beauty, and then ends with a question of whether you should have "engaged" her because she "looked familiar."

      By all means, you should engage people who look familiar. That is, if they are in fact familiar.  

      Be aware that if the reason you are really engaging them is because you think they are sexually attractive and the context is inappropriate for you to express that, you will come across as a creep whether or not you comment on their appearance.

      Women know these things.  They can read men like an open book.  You can disguise it as a joke, but it's aggression.

    •  I recall a brutally candid article a while back.. (8+ / 0-)

      relating the tale of a 50-something professional woman at a cocktail party noticing a gentleman in her age bracket looking & smiling in her direction. She prepared to engage in conversation as he approached...only to see him walk right past her without a glance to start hitting on the much younger woman standing behind her.

      The eagerness of older men to go after younger women always strikes me as a bit pathetic, sort of like dreaming about that big game in high school football...when you're in your 50s. And think about it; us 'mature' folks have a lifetime of experience and perspective. 20-somethings are, well, kids. Being drawn to them says a lot more about us than them, and it doesn't say anything good.

      •  actually, young, "good looking" women (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Mr Robert, churchylafemme

        usually don't show enough experience to be of interest to this older gentleman. There is more to relating to a woman than what she looks like; I relate to a person,  not a body.  There seems to be this attitude here that old guys are creepy or something if they dare to express interest in a woman.

        Check back with me in a few years, kids.

        don't always believe what you think

        by claude on Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 09:30:08 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Just me talkin' here, but... (0+ / 0-)

          youngsters of 20 something and those of us with some...ahem...maturity...are just on different planets. At 18 or 21 or even 30, we're pretty hormone-driven, and the physical stuff is so, well, urgent that it's hard to ignore. Hence it's easy to make decisions that in retrospect we regret (amirite?).

          By our 50s, not to say we're eunuchs or anything, but the physical part of life often starts to take a back seat to the intellectual and genuinely social (meaning, social not as a euphemism for sexual). And we can indeed find it easier to finally see other people as fully formed individuals rather than a collection of sexy bits.

          I think that's why it is kind of creepy to see an older guy prowling for a young partner on a purely physical basis; it's a disturbing example of arrested development. And because it is so often accompanied by the shameless exploitation of experience, wealth, resources, access to power or what-not by the older gentleman to get what he's after.

  •  If you're looking for (5+ / 0-)

    someone, there are plenty out here of more appropriate age  . . . we won't look like a fresh flower, but at least we remember what happened in the 80's.  Or 70's.

    Much more to talk about than with a 20 year old, and let's face it, she's a fantasy and you'll spend more time talking with a real person than anything else.

  •  As a female (7+ / 0-)

    About midway between your ages, I voted no. I have friends who dated or married guys 15-20 years older but I don't know anyone who at 20 would have been interested in a 60 year old. Sorry. I'm sure you might have some luck with someone a little more in the ballpark of your own age.

  •  Beautiful Girl (5+ / 0-)

    Foregoing the criticism that you undoubtedly gave her the impression you were stalking her, and thus probably made her uncomfortable... I would suggest that she is probably the assistant in your (geriatric) doctor's office, That's why she looks familiar.  Meanwhile, there are numerous interesting, beautiful 50-70 year-old women out there that would love to have a 60-year old man who is fairly vigorous and still relatively intact mentally and physically pay them some attention... and they would have far more in common with you than the freaked-out 20-something you were ogling, pops!

  •  Reminds of this dialogue ..... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    churchylafemme, Mr Robert

    ...from "Citizen Kane."  Here Berstein, Kane's lapdog, is talking to the anonymous reporter when he gives us this rare insight into his own character

    Bernstein: A fellow will remember a lot of things you wouldn't think he'd remember. You take me. One day, back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on the ferry, and as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in, and on it there was a girl waiting to get off. A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn't see me at all, but I'll bet a month hasn't gone by since that I haven't thought of that girl.
    Even if you never see her again, I hope you never lose the memory of her beauty
  •  I also have those moments (5+ / 0-)

    of "where do I know him/her from?", mainly because I have a good memory for faces, but a real blank spot for names. I guess it happens to all of us eventually, as we age.
    That being said, I also remember my younger years, and having older men flirt with me, older as in older than my own father, and I always found it creepy on some level.
    Perhpas you've thought about introducing yourself to this "familiar"young woman the next time you see her, "Have we met before?", "I'm sorry, do I know you?", or something along those lines.
    In my experience, this always comes across vaguely creepy, because with some (not all) men of a certain age, they are hitting on you. So you, as the young woman, tend to get slightly defensive, fending off a discussion and walking away, rather than engaging someone who is older than your father and perhaps being put in an uncomfortable position.
    Your diary comes off as a man who has seen a woman he is interested in, and is regretting not talking to her when he had the chance, and hasn't stopped thinking about her since. You mention her looks 3 times in the diary, and even change your course in the store to look at her again.
    Trust me, she won't be interested.

    Your beliefs don't make you a better person. Your behavior does.

    by skohayes on Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 04:06:14 AM PDT

  •  At our age (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Mr Robert

    a younger lady either sees a potential sugar daddy, a disgusting perv or (worst of all) an empty space where a person actually stands.  If I was leaf-letting for a political cause I'd target that younger voter immediately so if I'm just out looking for conversation or a friend, why wouldn't I want to speak to the youngster?  Of course, that's easy for me to say since I'm chronically introverted and shy.  Yet half of the respondents to your poll say not to talk to the girl...sad.

    If the Republicans ever find out that Barack Obama favors respiration, we'll be a one-party system inside two minutes. - Alan Lewis

    by pholkiephred on Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 04:07:54 AM PDT

  •  Probably one of your daughter's classmates :/ (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    chicago minx, Chi

    That's been my experience when an attractive young woman smiles in my (old!) direction.

    "Hi! You're Cindy's dad, right?"

  •  Part of the problem with some of these comments (6+ / 0-)

    is that younger commenters don't have a clue as to what you are really saying. As I grow older, I have a completely different worldview than I would just twenty-five years ago. Those of us in the twilight of our lives see the world far differently than those younger than us.

    I read some of these comments with amusement. Noteworthy is the contemporariness of much of the speculation, such as doctor's assistant or kid's classmate. Those speculations are in the present. How about somebody long dead, or a fading memory from childhood or teen years? I agree with you that there is much projection in some of the comments.

    There are a few old guys who are truly dirty old men, but most of us are pretty harmless, living out our remaining days in contemplation and reflection about things and people long gone.  

    Rudeness is a weak imitation of strength. - Eric Hoffer

    by Otteray Scribe on Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 05:42:11 AM PDT

  •  I always think I'm 20 (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    chicago minx, FiredUpInCA, denise b

    until I look in a mirror. The illusion quickly fades.

    Strange how that works.........

    Politics is the entertainment branch of industry. Frank Zappa

    by Da Rock on Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 07:10:55 AM PDT

  •  The saddest thing about this diary is that so (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    churchylafemme, Mr Robert, denise b

    many people who seem to be around sixty years of age are expressing feelings of just sitting around half-dead, living out their lives in misery.

    Sixty is not old. It is not twenty, but it is not old.

    There are many, many beautiful woman over the age of forty and they probably are full of life. Act accordingly.

    I say this in honor of my many, many friends who died in their twenties and thirties and never lived long enough to complain about old age.

    Eighty is old.

    "Southern nights have you ever felt a southern night?" Allen Toussaint ~~Remember the Gulf of Mexico~~

    by rubyr on Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 09:00:32 AM PDT

  •  I was having dinner with another guy my age (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    tobendaro, FiredUpInCA, Mr Robert, gfv6800

    We're both around 50. We were in a college town so a lot of people around us were in their 20s.

    He said to me "You realize, at our age we're invisible to college-aged women."

    I said: "My problem is I was invisible to college-aged women even when I was in college."

    If the pilot's good, see, I mean if he's reeeally sharp, he can barrel that baby in so low... oh you oughta see it sometime. It's a sight. A big plane like a '52... varrrooom! Its jet exhaust... frying chickens in the barnyard!

    by Major Kong on Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 09:40:36 AM PDT

  •  Maybe you should have wrote a poem instead. (0+ / 0-)

    You would have expressed yourself in the form of art and reflected on your age and your mindset.

    Do not adjust your mind, there is a flaw in reality.

    by Shrew in Shrewsbury on Mon Sep 02, 2013 at 12:07:30 PM PDT

  •  Diana Nyad, 64 (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    chicago minx, Mr Robert

    Just swam from Cuba to Florida nonstop without benefit
    Of a shark cage. First human being to do so. Just sayin.

    To keep our faces turned toward change, and behave as free spirits in the presence of fate--that is strength undefeatable. (Helen Keller)

    by kareylou on Tue Sep 03, 2013 at 03:45:50 AM PDT

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