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If a country's problems can't be solved with America bombing them then they can't be solved. Hell, we should even bomb ourselves.

Here's how you kill two birds with one stone, just tell George Zimmerman that Syria was walking around the neighborhood looking suspicious and let the problem take care of itself.

What if we just attack Syria with T-shirt cannons? Everybody loves T-shirt cannons.

US soldiers wearing Crocs invade Syria
Obama: Well technically I said no boots on the ground.

It’s Labor Day Eve and the Job Creator Fairy is busy reading the resumes of good boys and girls to deliver the gift of minimum wage jobs.

You know what we need? A marijuana bomb. I’m no scientist, but an explosion of happiness and munchies seems better than burning corpses.

Alcohol's predictable. Marijuana... well now marijuana is far from that. A mental tug of war between analytical existentialism and finding Honey Boo truly funny.


I've never regretted anything I've enjoyed the fuck out of.

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