Following are excerpts from a recent letter from Eva "Amazon" Contreraz, a transgender California inmate, to her supporters. Like many transgender and mentally ill prisoners, she has been taken in and out of solitary confinement by the system "for her own safety.", and was recently sent "into the hole" again. This instead of being given the medical and mental health treatment she needs.
People make the mistake of believing that solitary is confined to those "who deserve it." Beyond the fact that no one deserves to be thus treated for years, sometimes decades, with no means of redress - that this kind of barbaric treatment is not what we sentence people to as restitution for their crimes - many are thrown into solitary confinement arbitrarily. They are thrown back "into the hole" by guards getting back at prisoners, or for political views taken on and books read while incarcerated, or because the system cannot handle the needs of those in desperate shape.
This is what the California Prisoner's Hunger Strike, now in its 57th Day, is about, no matter what the mainstream press and California's officials may tell you.
Parts of the letter were read out on Saturday, August 31st, at the Hunger Strike solidarity rally in Oakland, CA.
July, 2013
Peace, Greetings & Blessings to all those who love.
Some of you have not heard from me for a while and that's because I've
been transferred. I'm back in Donovan prison in San Diego, after doing a
program in the Dept. of Mental Health, where I was sent due to incidents of
genital self-mutilation through the years for want of sex-change surgery
that the prison dept won't give trans women in men's prisons. The doctors
at the DMH recommended surgery for me, a really great development in and of
itself. They have an independence that prison psychs don't have. I've made
a formal request for surgery, but this is where the problem lies. The
prison department does not have to follow the recommendation and will not
give surgery. A prior request for surgery was denied.
...
Things are not the same here as when I left in November. I got back
on June 25th. I have been in the hole ever since. The prison claims I now
have two enemies on the yard and so I must be transferred and remain in the
hole until then, a process that takes months. I believe this is
retaliation and a set-up to get rid of me due to the hunger strike
resistance here of last year. I have asked to reconcile with these alleged
enemies, which is when both agree that there is no longer animosity and
they can be safely housed on the same yard. In fact, I did this when I
came here last year. But they wont do it this time around. I am to appear
before a classification committee next week for transfer. I am doing what
very little I can under the circumstances. But in all practicality, I will
be transferred. It is at their discretion. Any challenge would be a fight
that cant be won. The best thing is to roll with it. The sooner I leave,
the sooner i'll be out of the hole.
At this time I do need some help in another way.
I am resigned to being in the hole for several months to come,
throughout summer. I am not allowed my personal property in the hole and
have nothing. I don't have writing gear to keep in contact with those I
write to or their addresses. I do need writing paper, envelopes and
stamps. I do a lot of other writing, so paper is important, lots of it.
... I really need this and will love you so much for it. Or hey, just write :)
...
It gets very depressing in these holes... The most glaring issue is the
unpainted cells. They are grey concrete, faded and dirty walls, an
oppressive sight that bombards the mind all day. it's like living in a
cave...
After over 30 years in prison, I do have psych issues; No one can survive
that long without them. I'm highly claustrophobic. I'm a mental health
patient. I've done half my time in the holes of various prisons off and on
through the years and decades. I get chronic and severe depression and I
often experience anguish and anxiety. I have the symptoms of post
traumatic stress disorder. I am diagnosed as hypo-manic or bipolar and can
go from peppy to blue in an instant. I sleep only 4 hours a night, usually
two at a time, with the light on because the dark makes me anxious
and claustrophobic I have nightmares. I feel trapped, and desparate at
times and have emotional breakdowns and crying bouts. I've tried suicide
several times through the decades, ended up in a community hospital to keep
me alive. Even Amazons in the trenches are human beings and have our
weaknesses. But I'm keenly focused on survival and believe I'll make it.
I want everyone to know that I love you. I need your love at this
moment, I'm not too proud to say it... In my own way I pray for your peace
and well being.
With Great Love and Tears,
Amazon