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Hi!  I need a ghost writer to partner up with.  I got set on by some hoodlums in 2007- got knifed in the heart and just barely survived.  One of the shrinks said I should write the report and file it- it sort of turned into an action adventure movie on me.  With all the real life crime movies and so forth out there, I thought that the experience is so unique that it might make good fodder for a book or a movie.   I wrote a draft and registered it with the writer's guild so its ok for union guys to read.  
So the problem I have is that it's too real.  I really don't want to spend the next 6 months or a year having recurrent nightmares and hating everyone.  But, a sow's ear this big would just have to make a great silk purse.  I can't help but think there's probably some money in it somewhere.  I tried to put it on kickstart and raise 20 grand for a writer, but they wont list anything that requires the action of a third party.  
So if you like a blood and guts action adventure musical autobiographical romantic tragedy, that's what I have so far haha.  Please look in the extended part for the script- it's developed a bit since then but not much.   I apologize that it's dry at first- it gets a lot better later.  

Soundtrack is at

WARNING!!!!!!!  This is a draft copy only.  Barely a collection of jumbled thoughts, excerpts from letters and reports, etc.    

So far the "dream" project has mick jagger, john travolta, Chuck Norris, Jeri Ryan, steve miller, ac/dc, van halen, CW McCall, The Grateful Dead, Janis Joplin and aerosmith, and produced maybe starred in by sam elliott


an introspective of how did i come to be in this darned ambulance anyway

Starts with attempted murder…

(Sheesh-) it was a dark and stormy night...  A dog howled…  a woman screamed… (scene appropriate.

Travolta- CUT!!!  CUT!!!  What the hell was that?  “It’s easy to pick apart bad acting, shortsighted directing, and the purely moronic stringing together of words that many of the studios term as prose.  No, I’m talking about the lack of realism.  Realism.  Not a pervasive element in today’s modern American cinematic vision.”  (John Travolta, Swordfish.)  Travolta walks back off the black screen.      

A submovie on the DVD has pointers and labels pointing out all the parts of the movie that are reality

(Scene is black- an arc welder flash lights the scene up, then a helmet is flipped up to reveal daylight, an apparently tranquil setting. )

no actually it was broad daylight cattycorner from city hall.  The weather was really quite nice.  The local bums had been getting scarier and scarier, it seems they were planning to kill me and take over the house I built.  Someone will try to steal every house that you build, it's a rule of thumb.  Life's been threatened a hundred times, a dozen police contacts, etc.  Common knowledge among the kids at the school next door.  The ringleader, (Name withheld), tried to invade my home on sep 26.  I told him 4 times to get off my property and he kept coming up the stairs, which I proceeded to kick him halfway back down.  Sep 28, I was welding gates for the new fence with all the no trespassing signs.  I had to have the garage door open because of the fumes from the galvanized metal, and I was wearing an arc welding helmet.

I opened the helmet and saw (Another name withheld), another of the local bums, standing in front of me about 2 feet away.  There was another one i didn't recognize just to my left.  i started to say what part of no trespassing don't you understand and got knifed in the chest.  Withheld already had the knife out.  I grabbed his hand and pulled the knife out of my chest- some intestine came with it.  The knife had entered the left side of my chest in an upward direction just below the rib cage.  It went thru my intestine, my diaphragm, a couple inches of lung, cut my pericardium, and just barely nicked my heart.  Oh and stupid Chris I was still trying to disarm the guy- trying not to hurt him.  i yelled drop the knife you crazy bastard and banged his hand on the doorway twice.  Withheld yelled for his buddy to help him kill me.  His buddy said let him go let him go.  I said let him go my ass, the crazy bastard just STABBED me!  Buy that knife a couple more times the hell with that.  I had slammed withheld up against the garage wall with my forearm on his throat and had turned his hand around to point the knife at him instead of me.  I was just about to start stabbing withheld with his own knife in his own hand, but right then I started squirting blood out the hole in my chest every time my heart would pump, and I started feeling really weak.

I didn't figure I'd better be getting in a lot more of a fight right about then.  I threw withheld away from me and ran out the back door of the garage, ran upstairs, and got the phone.  Called 911 and went back outside.  Withheld's buddy followed me around back and said he didn't mean to have any part of this and offered to be a witness.  I told him to tell it to the cops, who are on the way, because I'm a bit busy.  He left.  Thank God the kids were having a football game at the school next door.  I borrowed their ambulance, sort of.  I was laying on my back deck and started feeling warm, and mellow...  I thought to myself oh shit, here it comes- I'm going to DIE!  Right about then I started panicking pretty bad.  Nasty trail of blood across the new carpet, pools of blood dripping through the secondfloor deck where I was at…  My next door neighbor is a fireman- I had a fireman there inside 90 seconds, and an ambulance there inside 5 minutes.  Otherwise it didn't look at all good.

Writer- I figure the first part is basically a documentary.  I would say to send a badly bleeding dummy (not ME this time) to the hospital and follow along with a vidcam.  Of course we can write in some humorous quips and say nice things about the people who helped me.

There was more blood than I ever saw come out of something that didn’t die.  Need a shot of the blood dripping thru the deck as they haul the guy off…

A TV News camera van has showed up to cover the murder.  They get there ahead of the police.  The reporter provides a documentary of the goings on.  Blood drips through the secondfloor deck and onto the news man just as he’s signing off.      

They stabilized me in newport

The guy- please be extra careful in spots cutting my clothes off, will you honey?

Nurse- “Did what was left of that man just try to FLIRT with me?”

The Head Nurse, it turns out, was the Head Angel…. At least The Guy isn’t allowed to die in Newport…  The Head Angel is played throughout by a Janis Joplin lookalike.  

Various Head Angels keep appearing throughout the tongue in cheek movie.  The Newport Head Angel wasn’t angry with The Guy for flirting- she was amused and only called sexual harassment to give him some time.  Sorry- he sexually harassed her (lol) she doesn’t have to work with him if she doesn’t want to.  Can’t die in Newport.

The “Two Old Men” from the Muppet Show provide a sarcastic narration at high points throughout.  “Oh, that HAD to hurt…”  

Next scene the med folks are bundling the guy off back into the ambulance.

So then they had to take me to Corvallis for open heart surgery.  Having the EMT shaking you and saying things like “stay with us, Chris” is not a good sign.

Starts out with a blood and guts (lit) attempted murder, then the guy gets stabilized in Newport and his life starts flashing before his eyes on the way to corvallis...

The Guy asks not to have a transfusion unless absolutely necessary.

EMT- Do you have any medical problems you can tell me about?

The guy- er, well, oh I know you mean besides bleeding all over your nice clean ambulance…  yeah (weak grin) I can’t take SRI’s…  and I’d like to not be transfused unless I absolutely have to, kindof a religious thing.

EMT- nah, we’ll worry about those when we get to the hospital in Corvallis…  I’ll tell them, though.

The guy- you just keep that oxygen coming, pard, that’s really helping.

EMT- Don’t worry about that, we have so much oxygen, why, we use it for AIR…

The guy’s eyes close, his heart rate drops and becomes irregular…

The EMT shakes him and says "Stay with us, Chris, stay with us...!"... Fearing immediate death, the terrified patient's life starts flashing before his eyes. The screen rolls backwards blurringly fast, then slows... faint music becomes audible in the background, barely. He thinks "Oh my God

Intro into God’s (Sam Elliott) continued appearances

Time freeze-

Sam- Wait a minute, time out.

Mick- What?  You know I have the contract.  He just died, he’s mine- simple as that.  I don’t understand why we’re having this conversation.

Sam- Not quite, this time.  Sure you have the contract, but I also know you tricked him into signing it.  Besides- he didn’t want whole blood.  He said that because of his respect for Me.

Mick- Touching, I’m sure, but transfusions aren’t in the rulebook.

Sam- But one thing is- he died with My name on his lips, didn’t he?

Mick- A technicality!  A Euphemism!  The irreverent bastard wasn’t calling out for You, it’s just something they SAY!!!

Sam- But that gets him a second look-see to see if he meant to do wrong, doesn’t it?  You’re the stickler for paperwork…  Make ya a deal.  If the guy turns out to be OK, he gets an answer to his heart’s desire and his fondest childhood prayer.  If not, you can keep him.  How’s that?  

Mick- We ARE waxing philosophic today, aren’t we?  Ha!  Sure, it’s a…

Time resumes…

 The guy- Oh my God, it's... it's... it's the STONES?!?!?!?! The music becomes blaringly loud, playing "Gimme Shelter". The scene flashes on a hundred or so GI's having a party in front of a European barracks, drinking beer, smoking hash... Several windows are stacked with speakers- you can see the glass in the rest flexing in the sun with the beat. Military style typewritten script types itself on the screen "Wildflecken, Federal Republic of Germany. Aug 18, 1977. 1427 hours"...

Scene pans from a breadboard with a kilo of hashish on it and a bayonet stuck in one side, past a group of GI’s counting hits of acid (from hundreds) in strips of cellophane tape, to the pop stand.  

What looks like a pop stand is set up at one side of the party.  Mick Jagger (hasn’t made his true identity as The Devil known yet)  sits inside, doing a land office business selling heroin.   The guy is at the front of the long line, finally.  The dope is great, and it is CHEAP.  He gets an ounce.  All he has to do is sign some form Mr Jagger shoves in front of him- he’s assured it’s just a formality.  The ink is red.  The party continues.

Might write in some nasty injection scenes, purely fantasy of course (wince).  What a guy looks like when he’s stopped breathing for a few minutes- there’s another true one.  Finding a dead guy in the shower, too…   All the really nasty stuff set to the tune of Runnin With The Devil.

Perhaps some purely fictional across border terrorist assassination missions against the eastern block of the RAF (Red Army Faction) or some such.  Why they couldn’t call them the Baader Meinhof Gang after that.  Sour dope deals for Red Star lsd, that sort of thing.  Might be kinda spooky lol I’d ask the army lol or maybe the RAF too lol definitely the Germans haha.

Oh here I'm writing the outline for the second flashback scene in the movie... the whole movie's an introspective of how did i come to be in this darned ambulance anyway.  Flashback two is of when i started stopping drinking...  Lived with the pres of the pueblo co AA for about a year.  Make a note to get Hank Jr to play "OD'd in (on) Denver"...

The scene flashes ahead, and stops- camera is behind the cars- instantly two drag cars get the green light...

BooooWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA    (Steve Miller starts up....Livin in the USA)  Pueblo Motorsports Park  Pueblo, CO  July 4, 1982  1548 hrs...  

Scene pans right from the drag cars to the bleachers.  The guy, a tall lanky redhead (Joanna), and some others are partying in the bleachers, watching the drags.  The guy is drinking a beer…  he pulls a joint out of his pocket, lights it and takes a deep drag…

Joanna looks over from watching the cars, frowns, takes the joint out of his mouth, and throws it away.

Chris- That was WEED, you know…  (looks down into bleachers)

Joanna- If it was a cigarette, I wouldn’t have thrown it away, would I?  Do you HAVE to smoke that SHIT all the time?  Good thing it’s a hot day, or I’d be pissed about that beer, too- (sticks out tongue, makes smooching face).

Chris- Damned cigarettes are worse for you than the weed, for cripes sake…  (lights a marlboro).

Joanna- Oh great!  They’re staging the AA car!  (Points her finger toward the lights, waves, yells, jumps around- a couple of the guys with the car wave back…)

 Another set of cars thunder past…

Mick Jagger sits in the bleachers, more interested in watching the guy than the dragsters.  He’s here to check on his investment.  He’s less than pleased with Joanna’s behavior…  just as  the AA car and another get the green light, he waves his hand, slightly.  

Scene changes to overlooking cars at start of drag, as if from bleachers.  The cars get the green light, and just as the tires begin to spin, the engine on the AA car explodes in a massive fireball, scattering parts all over the track.  The car catches fire completely, and the driver jumps out, smoking but unhurt.  The driver pulls off her helmet, eyes wide, and pointing at the burning car and backing away, shouting at the fire crew.

Driver- What in the HELL happened to that car, man?  I wasn’t even PUSHING her!

Fireman- And look how the whole thing seems to have burst into flames all at once…  damndest thing I ever saw….        (busies himself with putting out what's left of her car)

A crew of volunteers begins to assemble in the pits.  A wrecker drags an old pinto into the pits at the same time another truck brings in a new engine.  Wrenches begin to turn as one man grabs a spray can and paints A/A on the door…

Mick Jagger reveals his true identity during desert storm.  The guy volunteers for the Natty Guard because he wants to do the right thing, and well hey, he wanted one last big adventure before he got too old.  The guy is getting primed to go, duffel bag packed, drawing gear at the armory- Mick is ecstatic.  He reveals who he is to the tune of “Sympathy for the Devil”- Some gruesome war footage- “I drove a tank, held a general’s rank, when the blitzkreig raged, and the bodies stank…”  Devil wants the guy to be one of his lieutenants…

The guy is horrified- he figures no way, and argues the point with Mick.  Mick pulls out the form that he signed in 1977 when he got the “H”…  turns out it was a contract for his soul, and the smack was a tad more expensive than he thought.  He argues more, then tells Jagger he’s not going to be his bitch, and chambers a round in his M16.  Jagger, looking over his shoulder partway,  laughs and says “Go ahead and threaten, your puny weapons can’t kill ME!!!”  The guy knows it’s true- hey why wouldn’t someone have done it by now?  But hey, you can INSULT the devil all you want…

The scene shifts to looking through the sights of his rifle.  The rifle swings down from between Jagger’s eyes to the left cheek of his ass, and fires.  Jagger, though not dead, IS sorely vexed.

Theme sort of is that the guy sold his soul to the devil, but crawfished on the deal and shot him in the ass….  Mick is not going to like this.  He was out for the season, mostly, on desert storm.

Scene shifts to hell- the devil is convalescing, on his stomach.  He’s trying to figure out what to do to the guy to get even.  (AC/DC hell ain’t no bad place to be plays in background- lots of cute hell-ish background music on the devil’s office scenes, should make for a great soundtrack)

After some deliberation, the devil decides that he should turn the guy’s life into a “sad country song”.  He’s going to make they guy lose his health, his construction company, his ranch, his wife, his kids, his dog and his pickup truck.  But he still can’t figure out where to start.  The devil thinks, and thinks…  “What is the lowest possible scum, the worst thing that I could possibly make the guy be…?” he asks an assistant.  “I mean, what longs to be elevated to the status of “worm” someday?  What is the lowest possible form of life on this soon-to-be God forsaken planet…?”

Scene shifts to Camp Rilea, Oregon (teletype fills in appropriate date)- Officer candidate school.  A formation of officer candidates with yellow scarves are being instructed by a TAC officer.



TAC- We’re going to elevate you to the status of “WORM” someday, if you measure up, you know…

Formation- SIR, THANK YOU, SIR!!!

Scene shifts to the guy doing pushups downhill on The Berm…

The guy- 231…  232…  233…

The devil is in his general’s uniform and walks up from behind the guy- he’s dismayed that the guy is taking this so well.  The devil is pissed about “having to do without his “right arm”…”

The devil stomps the guy, permanently trashing his right shoulder.  You can hear the tendons “go”

Scene shifts to green GP medium aid tent-

SP4 Medic- you aren’t really hurt, you know…  It’s just a response from the training…

The guy- “no, man, I been hurt before- it’s really bad jacked up this time, really…”

Scene shifts to the mess hall- the guy is bussing tables, a cloth draped over his crippled arm…

Scene shifts to the guy, looking over a pile of bills on his desk.  He tries to shuffle the bills around, and his right arm gives out and falls to the desk.  He pounds on the desk from the pain with his left arm a bit- an old german beer stein from the 70’s tips over.  A nice sized piece of Turkish “chokin’ red” hashish falls out, and one of the pipes they used to put in with the odd case of c-rations, (haha).

Time freeze-

The devil- Who in the HELL did that?!?!

Assistant- I don’t know sir- (looks into ipod) I can’t tell- I don’t think that came from “our side”, sir…

Sam’s face grins in a passing cloud…

The devil- We’ll see what to make of THAT won’t we….  (evil grin)

Time resumes…

The guy crumbles a bit off, and takes a nice long hit…  Then another…  feels a LOT better…

Scene shifts back to the ambulance ride in between flashbacks, mostly.


Set to the music of CW McCall’s Four Wheel Drive, basically.  “Don’t hit that feller with the banjo” while you’re running from the cops “thru the mud and the crud and the cornfields where the Mary G Wanna grows”…

Scene shifts to a family, (wife, two single-digit kids and a baby) having a picnic out in the country.  The guy is off in the cornfield a ways, chopping pot plants down with a machete.  They get the jeep from the song loaded, put a tarp over the weed, call it good and head for home.

The devil is hitchhiking beside the road.  The guy blows by.  The devil blows him a kiss- which strips the tarp off the jeepload of pot.

Wife- Oh heck, the tarp blew off!  Stop!  Stop!

The tarp drifts around in the air for a bit, and then wraps around the front of a state police car.

Cop- That didn’t really just happen, did it?

Wife-  (Seeing cop car) GO!  GO!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Guy- Stop, Go, go, stop…  

The cops stop, remove the tarp, and take off in hot pursuit.  The guy sees the oncoming police car, and makes a “hard right turn” into his cornfield.  (Three chirps at the end of the slide, please.)  It “looks like yellow hail” as they run thru the field.

Wife- Oh no- you’re not going thru the Killer Swamp, are you?

Kids- Oh COOL!!!  The Killer Swamp, The Killer Swamp, YAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!

The Guy- Desperate times call for desperate measures, dear…  ha remember when we tried The Killer Swamp in your old Chevy?

Wife- I never HAVE liked that place since then..  I just HATE the Killer Swamp…  If you would just fix where the canal washed out, it would dry up and it would be a LOT easier to get to the tree house, you know…

The guy- Yeah, I know.

They slide thru a muddy turn, covering a sign that says “Killer Swamp” and has a skull and crossbones and says “Look Out!” with muck.

The killer swamp is an anomaly.  It was formed when a canal washed out and flooded a small marijuana patch.  The soil is pretty sandy, and when the canal started emptying in to it, it turned to more or less quicksand (14’ deep).  The canal is banked on the far end, about 12’ tall and 12’ across.  You have to hit the quicksand with pretty fat tires in 4 wheel drive about 80 to get across, and not drop below 50 or you’re pretty much toast.  Really tricky part is that when you jump the dry canal, you have to be doing about 25…  you’ll arc right over and land on the far incline, no sweat.  At fifty, you’ll pile drive into the far side road.  At 15, you’ll land in the bottom of the canal.

The guy makes it no sweat.  The cop cars following him aren’t having much luck.  Let the stunt people play with it.  Can’t use anything newer than ’93 or so, should be pretty cheap.

The guy drops off the pot and the fam at this really nice treehouse.  The fam stands under the tree by the time a cop gets across and comes by.  The cop stops, and asks if they’re ok- they tell him sure and wow they didn’t know he was going to take off like that and start pointing the way he went…

“Sakes alive I had 25 more Smokies on mah tail…”

Write in Chuck Norris, visiting his relatives in OR, as the first cop to make it thru the killer swamp.  He arrests the guy at the point of his elephant rifle…

“Got a CJ5 and 4 wheel drive- sittin’ out back of the jail…”  The jeep has boots on all 4 tires.  Seems that there was one teeny little pot plant left lodged under a seat….

Scene shifts to police wrecker pulling a car out of The Killer Swamp…  wow first one out seems to be an old Chevy 2 wheel drive, looks like it’s been in there for years…

Scene shifts back to ambulance…

The guy Loses the construction company, goes bankrupt, loses wife, kids, dog dies,

Write in scene of selling off the pickup truck.

The guy goes back to college at UO for 5.5 years.  The army finally catches up, and offers him a 4 year engineering degree- won’t pay for the architecture degree ‘cause they don’t have a corps of architects.  They figure no way he’ll quit halfway thru the M Arch program- they don’t know about his health or his loss of above or the wonderful woman he met in K Falls where the engineering school is…

The devil knew she was going to die… she’d made her own deal- “One last fling before I go…”   (She’s played by Jeri Ryan- Seven of Nine from Star Trek)

a series of recurrent nightmares with walking yellow dead people that wanted to party (when my "wife" died proximal cause liver failure).  Wow that was gnarly.  Sleep?!?!?  fuck THAT!!!  Oh no, the yellow dead people not MIGHT be there, they WILL be there....  That's OK I thought lol.  I'll just get a bit of extra work done or something....

Meanwhile, in hell, Ms Ryan is being a real handful for the locals.  They can’t seem to find anyone who can handle her.  Finally an especially brave (and stupid) demon goes to her room and accosts her.  She breaks his nose in an extremely bloody manner with a good ol’ right cross, and kicks him in the balls (camera from behind the victim) hard enuf that it lifts him off the ground a bit.  The demon staggers a bit, and Ms Ryan grabs him by the neck and injects him with two tubules that extend from her wrist (God thought she might need the some technology…  she found her glove thingie  after she died…  He’s pounding on his desk laughing about now).  The demon turns a greenish grey, begins to grow borg implants, staggers outside the room and falls over. He bounces when he hits the floor.  (Saw Worf do that once when Crusher injected him with something…  nice fall!) The other demons who’ve been standing in line look around innocently, looking for something to do….

Write in hydroxazine reaction…  There's two really nasty scenes about bad drug reactions to Paxil and Trazodone.  Trazodone gets siezures, liver damage, and Aero smith’s “Round and Round”.

Perhaps we could talk to the pharmaceutical company about backing our project…  delete trazodone insert methamphetamine….  We don’t have any methamphetamine in here hahahaha.  Or any sex, to speak of, for that matter.

Thru it all the guy’s near superhuman efforts against pain and adversity is the only thing that keeps it barely together.  The whole melee is typified by The Ballroom Blitz”.  

Several dead female action heroines (the devil asked for some heroin) stomp heck out of things in Hell to the tune of Hells Bell(e)s.  Multiple air resupplies miraculously drop the pills the demons are praying for.  By the pallet.  The demons didn’t ask for parachutes, though.   (“too many women, and too many pills”)  Of course they make easy targets as they’re fighting over the pills, or tranquilized.  The assimilated Borg fight on (even if torn to pieces- couple cute scenes with a borg head biting this enemy ankle, a demon getting it's face torn off, a particularly nasty borg who tears off arms and uses the bloody ends for lethal weapons...  i'm still figuring out how to have a borg tear off a demon's head and shit down it's neck.) and continue to assimilate others to the tune of Resistance Is Futile.

The Borg need weapons…  one wounded Borg realizes this.  It calls up back computer files to itself, leafs thru several, and approves a 3d model of a Klingon disruptor.  The program locks in, and instead of dying, the Borg morphs into several dozen disruptor pistols, which are put to good use by the rest of the Borg.  The occurrence is repeated.  Dying Borg make great warheads, too.  

Large scale warfare ensues- (special effects fest) Mick is on the brink of losing it all.  But God still needs hell, in a way, so makes Mick a deal.

Ms Ryan gets killed at the finale’ of the conflict.  It’s been extremely bloody and gruesome (The Borg take Hell…  there is no Geneva Convention here) and Mick’s side is just about to collapse completely.  Mick offers to negotiate a cease fire.  He has a briefcase with North Vietnamese Army markings on it delivered to Ms Ryan and her friends.  She opens the case, revealing a tiny suitcase nuke.  The timer is digital, to .001 second.  There are two seconds remaining and it’s counting down.  She and the Heroines are taken aback…  in chorus they say “Oh my GOD!”- and vanish.  

The timer ticks the remaining .002 seconds…  the shot ends in a blinding flash.  Scene reopens to show a huge nuclear detonation in hell- half of what little remains is obliterated completely, and the other half is horribly poisoned with fallout

Scene- God sees the rising mushroom cloud and blows a puff of wind to make the fallout settle over what’s left of hell.  (gee Who could have thought the wind would be blowing that way…?).  Of course none of this would have been possible if the devil hadn’t been so damned distracted trying to deal with her old man (smirk).  The devil blows a puff of breath upward to shoo the glowing dust from his forelocks.    

But ya gotta wonder- what happens if you get killed fighting for God in hell- or anywhere else?  Even if you were foolish enough to make a deal with the devil all those years ago?

The Guy dies just as he gets to the hospital in Corvallis…

ker thump…  ker… thump…..  ker….   (fade to black…)

What can you say?  The wages of sin, and all.  Besides I’m guessing that it will exceed 90 min about there.

Leaves room for a sequel…  maybe they can revive the guy…  I guess it’s in Sam’s hands now,  hahahahaha.

 (To the tune of Janis Joplin’s Lord Won’t You Buy Me a Mercedes Benz)

Scene cuts to a quiet, peaceful Corona commercial.  White sand beach, etc.  (The Melia San Lucas Junior Exec suite was nice.)  The scene looking down the beach pans out to show a guy lying on a beach chair, sleeping, a lime draped over the Corona on the table next to him.  There is a two foot scar on the guy’s chest, from his navel to his throat, plus three holes….  There are no tracks in the sand….

Jeri Ryan drives up to the edge of the beach in a new mercedes benz with a huge bigscreen tv hanging out of the trunk.  She’s wearing a party dress and carrying a man’s suit….  Several Porsches start zipping around the adjoining parking lot.  They’re driven by the Heroines (Hell’s Belles).   Ms Ryan approaches The Guy- all the porsches "look".  She frowns, and a flashing road sign appears that says "Bar".  One of the porsches sees it, honks to the others, and they all zip off toward the bar.  Ms Ryan smiles and approaches The Guy...  Their sillhouettes framed against the sunset....

do a fast zoom out and zoom back- to shot of some dismembered Borg rockin’ out to Resistance is Futile on another island at the very very end.

Roll Credits.

Oh sure and if you get really expert at the video game- you might get to die in a nuclear detonation lol but quick at least.        


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Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

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