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Because people like the man in the linked story.

He saw a young lady walking. A fourteen year old as a matter of fact. He then offered two hundred dollars for sex. She refused so he grabbed her by the hair and dragged her into his vehicle. He strangled her until she lost consciousness. He then threw her out of the vehicle and ran her over several times.

For refusing to engage in his pedophilia this child will never feel safe walking alone again.

She told police that around 7 p.m., Mendez offered her $200 to have sex with him. When she refused, she says he pulled her by the hair into his SUV and choked her until she passed out.

Witnesses reported seeing an SUV drive forward and back over the girl multiple times, according to WESH.

"I keep seeing it in my head," witness Shane Green told Click Orlando. "How do you do that to a little girl? . . . I started screaming at him He backed up, he literally backed up and hit her again and he went to take off because he heard us screaming at him. He hit his brakes and was spinning his tires on top of that little girl."

How did we as a culture get to this point where someone could even think this was acceptable?

I blame Reagan but he is, just as he was then, a sock puppet for those on the religious right that prefer women were chattel so males can crow about their "superiority" without contest.

I've tried things like reporting to the police activities where crime is inherent when I have encountered them on my frequent walks. But gave up on that when I was told there would be no report when I was shot by a pellet gun at a bus stop. Even though I got the plate, make and model and the car full of kids were coming from the direction of the high school with other student traffic. So to protect and serve the 1% was a rough lesson for me in that regard.

But what do we do as parents knowing people like this are running free and could be as horrifically violent as this man was?

Originally posted to Sluts on Thu Sep 26, 2013 at 05:51 PM PDT.

Also republished by RaceGender DiscrimiNATION and Feminism, Pro-Feminism, Womanism: Feminist Issues, Ideas, & Activism.

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Comment Preferences

  •  I don't think that this is of recent origin. (13+ / 0-)

    In most cultures men have pretty much always stood a fair chance of getting by with something like this. The more money and power they had, the better their chances.

    I would say that we have made some modest progress in that there is now organized resistance and protest against it.

    I agree with the present emphasis on not blaming victims because they were attacked. However, when dealing with minor children, some amount of education about protective measure is in order.

  •  Amazing the girl survived! (12+ / 0-)

    I hope you are wrong and this monster is just an outlier.

    Rapes in the US have gone down by 60% in the last 20 years but we have long long ways to go.  16% of all women have experienced rape or an attempt.

    Daily Kos an oasis of truth. Truth that leads to action.

    by Shockwave on Thu Sep 26, 2013 at 06:08:06 PM PDT

  •  As a parent, we keep telling our children how to (15+ / 0-)

    be safe (my daughter is 26, I still talk to her about buddy systems, etc.) and then we pray.

    At the same time, we do have to continue working to redirect our police state away from beating on protesters, arresting for pot, etc., get better mental health services and get reasonable gun control.  Some tweaking of our judicial system would be helpful as well.

    Finally, we have to recognize the statistical chances of random violence happening to our kids is low - this one is just so we can ever sleep.

    "Don't Bet Against Us" - President Barack Obama

    by MRA NY on Thu Sep 26, 2013 at 06:10:08 PM PDT

    •  as a father of a girl and a boy (6+ / 0-)

      that are now grown I had almost polar opposite strategy for raising kids.

      My daughter just got her masters degree and has started her first year as a first grade teacher. My son is a junior in college who just switched majors (from cello to computer science).

      so anyway, my philosophy is that over-protection and over-vigilance damages the psychological well being of people- including children.

       Being a scaredie cat destroys the opportunity to build trust and expand one's comfort zone among family, friends, community, public spaces and the world at large.

      You introduce a new concrete problem by trying to avoid the hypothetical boogeyman problem.

      The new problem introduced is unease with diversity and anxiety with unknown situations.

      It justifies paranoia, validates dismissing what people say on face value because of the possibility that what they are saying may be part of an elaborate ruse intended to draw you into an unsafe situation.

      When shit happens you deal with it pragmatically. People have to be able to come together. To trust one another. Like in the Constitution- innocent until proven guilty.

      As a result, they have better people skills, they are more resilient and resourceful, less prone to panicking and ironically surrounded by groups of friends that 'have their back'.

      I want my kids and their future kids to be empowered, not infantalized.

      As an example of this philosophy in action, when my daughter was in 9th (maybe it was 10th) grade she went on an all weekend trip to New York City I encourage her to find some time during the trip to wander off by herself- among the throngs of New Yorkers and do something. I told her, as strange as it sounds, she would be safe among the hustle and bustle of Manhattan on her own. We both knew this was totally against the rules of the trip..yada...but I encouraged her to do this and to come  back and report on what happened. Yes she would be on gaurd. Yes she would not be doing anything stupid. She has common sense.

      I added by mentioning that her mother's father (we call him 'Pony Papa') used to hop trains back in the thirties. Ride the train to the next town...hang around for a while...hop a train back home in time for supper. He did this when he was nine years old.

      I can go on and on. I could talk about the grit of the settlers crossing the great west on the Oregon trail in a couple of wagons pulled by oxen. Yeah shit happened there too- but it didn't thwart our ancestors. They took stuff in stride that we cringe at today.

      And then they had to deal with some extra stuff like polio that we don't have to deal with.

      So she went on the trip and she came back and described the exhilaration of walking down 5th avenue- gripping her purse closely...going in a couple of stores and getting a bagel somewhere.

      A couple of years after that and she was buying tickets on cheap buses to ride from DC to NYC for the day to catch a show with friends.

      We were lucky- so far.

      •  As the father of a girl and 2 boys (2+ / 0-)

        I couldn't agree with you more!

        You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

        by Simian on Thu Sep 26, 2013 at 11:53:35 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  Confidence is a form of protection (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        PSzymeczek, Horace Boothroyd III

        Yes, building confidence is part of it.  I've allowed my kids, pre-teen and young teens, to walk for miles, cross under the interstate, etc.    The community thought it was so odd to see young girls walking that the cops stopped to see if there was something wrong!!    We've also talked about the dangers of crossing heavy traffic, the benefits of the buddy system, the importance of communicating where you are or will be, etc, to circulate along at small local festivals, etc.  

        We talk about all the dangers, and brainstorm aobut what we can do to stay safe.   And, then we make plans, take precautions, and do whatever we want to do.  

        Predators escalate from preying on the weak, to preying on the strong.     Being confident and assertive will make you a less attractive victim for many (but not all) predators.

        Reasonable safety measures will help increase your odds.  Being knowledgeable about common crimes, and common ways to avoid them.

        And, statistics will protect you from a lot of it.  There are only so many Ariel Castros.  We are far more likely to get hit by lightning.   I try to remind my kids of the realistic likelihood of certain things happening.

         

  •  Recent or not, it's the same thing all over again. (16+ / 0-)

    You are right, Horace, to worry about your daughter. My daughters are now adults with daughters of their own, plus 2 sons.

    All women are still targets, the young more vulnerable than older ones. Women and girls still get raped and brutalized. Even judo moves don't protect if the guy has a gun.

    Too many men still see females as folks who don't know their own minds and whose "No" really means "yes." While my daughters are grown my little grand daughters are still children and I fear for them, all over again.

  •  Biggest Threat to Young Girls is Family Men (10+ / 0-)

    according to all the stats I've seen reported.

    Now, IANAP (parent) so I'm in no position to comment on how you should feel. But just as a matter of fact, there are crime stats for every neighborhood and it seems likely that some places are a lot riskier for this kind of behavior than others.

    Having just bought a house, we looked at neighborhood crime stats for each house we considered on one of the real estate web sites, trulia.com. If there's a house for sale in your neighborhood, enter its address on the advanced search, scroll down to local info and you'll see crimes reported over recent year or two.

    Violent crime has been dropping for years, another matter of fact though again I can't assess it through the heart of a father.

    We are called to speak for the weak, for the voiceless, for victims of our nation and for those it calls enemy.... --ML King "Beyond Vietnam"

    by Gooserock on Thu Sep 26, 2013 at 06:16:03 PM PDT

    •  This is true... (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Horace Boothroyd III, PSzymeczek

      Girls and women have more to fear from family members - or boyfriends - than they have to fear from strangers.

      The majority of crimes committed against females personally (rape, assault, battery, etc.) are from men they know, either through being related to them or dating or as neighbors, but statistically it will most likely be from someone they know.

      Wiki: Crimes against women
      See also: Violence against women

      I'm sick of attempts to steer this nation from principles evolved in The Age of Reason to hallucinations derived from illiterate herdsmen. ~ Crashing Vor

      by NonnyO on Fri Sep 27, 2013 at 05:08:47 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  I've talked to my kids about this (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Horace Boothroyd III

      We assess families before letting our kids stay with them.   I've warned them it can happen so they won't be clueless if it starts up.  I always send a cell phone with them, so they have an independent way to call me, if there's a problem.

      They haven't had a problem.   And, I think it's because they are aware and we are cautious.  Many of their friends have had problems, and it was due to adults in their families failing to be vigilant or responsive.

  •  What's with "we"? This is not "we as a culture"! (3+ / 0-)
    How did we as a culture get to this point where someone could even think this was acceptable?

    I blame Reagan but he is, just as he was then, a sock puppet for those on the religious right that prefer women were chattel so males can crow about their "superiority" without contest.

    I don't think the crime report defines or even reflects our culture. Of the 360,000,000 Americans some are sick and violent. Getting political about a crazy predator is incoherent imHo.

    Tonight Mayors Landreau and Nutter were discussing urban gun violence on TV as a "national problem" and they asked "where's the outrage" over the shootings in Chicago. It struck me that my very real outrage from my peaceful Cal city about their crime is really not very fruitful although, to be clear, I blame the communities. The Mayors should have been directing their question to Chicagoans who should be marching in the street every day until their city's street crime is stopped. Crime is a local matter and history shows that it's quite solvable.  

    •  There are broad cultural values (4+ / 0-)

      that support violence. Look at the NRA and right wing hate mongering. They reach into the most peaceful and orderly of nice shady suburbs.

      Newton, CN was such a nice respectable middle class town and Adam Lanza and his gun collecting mother were from a well to do and respectable family.  

      •  Abnormal behavior may arise from cultural aspects (0+ / 0-)

        ...but to add the abnormalities to "our culture" seems inaccurate, almost as if its being embraced. We can fix gun laws, to use your example, easily, and we have many laws and systems to prevent violence upon others. Fixing the cultural aspects of dominance, gender, sex are all much more complex. Calling out the abnormality, the lack of virtue, the hostility are all important ways we define our culture. The mistakes the Lanza's are guilty of don't stem from their culture but, in his case, his mental illness, and in her case, her irresponsibility and poor decisions , and the family's failure of one woman raising two sons on her own. These are profound personal failures that bore worst case scenario yet still predictable consequences and the lessons are timeless, not of this century much less today.

        The Lanza problem was not created by the NRA or a gun culture IMO. The NRA had a remote impact in potentially being the reason the gun he used was available at his house. Different guns, less victims? Undoubtedly. But IMO that's  far more of a political and commercial thing than cultural.  

  •  My daughter is fourteen and yes, I worry too (5+ / 0-)

    She is tall and athletic and smart, and she has been told many times about how to keep herself safe.  But could she fend off a really determined male?  I don't know.  

    tell mr. godot I'm walking the dog

    by chicago minx on Thu Sep 26, 2013 at 07:17:38 PM PDT

  •  i have an only daughter (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Horace Boothroyd III

    and as she ages and is becoming a beautiful young women, and boys are starting to notice her, these things weight on my mind heavily.

  •  Venal news media + huge population = (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    GAS, Horace Boothroyd III, a2nite

    steady supply of sensational crime stories which the media can use to sell advertising.

    What you have to remember is that we live in a country of 300+ million people who are interconnected like never before.  Incidents like this are actually extremely rare, but in a country with that many people, extremely rare events will happen SOMEwhere, with some frequency.  And every time something like this happens the media hypes it to death.  We read it and unless we are on our guard we think that this rare incident we just read about is pervasive. Next thing you know nobody lets their kids walk to school any more because they think there's a kidnapping epidemic...or they want teachers to arm themselves to prevent school shootings...or they vote for draconian criminal penalties...

    You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

    by Simian on Fri Sep 27, 2013 at 12:05:10 AM PDT

  •  Social Network (0+ / 0-)

    You said it.   You reported a problem in the community, and the police did not respond.    We have to change that.  

    In almost all of the mass shootings, and in the Boston Marathon bombing, and in the kidnapping of the three women, there have been people in the community who have identified problems and attempted to reach out and get someone to respond.

    People who do things like this don't step out of a spacetime warp.  They have been in our communities, escalating, for years.    

    One of the problems is that we don't want the expense or liability, as a society, of intervening with people who demonstrating signs of a problem, but who haven't gotten caught -- yet -- raping, murdering, etc.  

    We have made a conscious choice, in our society, to wait until the horrific happens, and then react, rather than acting in a proactive fashion.

    How would the world be different...

    - if the U.S. had responded more effectively to warnings about Tamerlin Tsarnaev?  

    - if police had responded effectively when the psychiatrist for the "Batman" shooter, James Holmes, warned police a month in advance, that he was a danger ot the public?  

    - if there was a legal intervention with Jared Loughner, the Gabby Giffords shooter, when his college forced him to withraw "for the safety of staff and students".    What about the safety of the community?!

    The list goes on and on.   There must be a mechanism where parents, community members, psychiatrists, school officials, employers, etc. can report behavior of concern, and there be an effective response, including ongoing monitoring, and a program for intervention.  

    It cannot be accomplished under our current laws, and environment.  It requires a new infrastructure -- or a rebuilding of an older infrastructure that we have dismantled.    It requires that we have an effective mental health system, monitoring mechanisms, enforcement mechanisms, access to care.

    Parents must have a way to transition mentally ill children who require routine monitoring and treatment, into adulthood.   There may be persons who need a minimal level of monitoring throughout their lives.

    It requires a compromise between the rights of an individual, and the rights of the community, between a person's privacy, and the community safety.  

    Our solution, at this time, is to ignore all danger signs, until we have a definite sit-u-a-tion, such as guys leaping out of cars and raping fourteen year olds, or guys walking onto a base and shooting everyone in sight, or bombing a marathon.

    Trying to turn all of society into a padded cell, by locking up all the guns, bombs, drugs, etc. is not working.   It turns out that dangerous people are still dangerous, no matter how many things we lock up.

    The solution is a strong social network, mechanisms for reporting, monitoring, enforcement, access to care, etc. where a community can report concerns, where there is an timely and effective response, and tools to intervene where needed.  

    I am so disappointed in Obama.  All he talks about is gun control.   Maybe one day, we will have a leader who cares enough to do something constructive.

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