Adding to the Tea Party driven list of demands that House Republicans have been floating in the last week, it appears there's an eleventh-hour demand for Romney/Ryan Cruz/Lee to have equal rights to Air Force One.
A hastily scribbled note stained with tanning solution emerged from a cage where Speaker Boehner was being held awaiting his next session in the purification pit.
The Tea Party asserts that presidential elections don't settle major policy issues when the sitting President's pigmentation conflicts with National Gallery norms AND all televised Presidential public statements should be rebutted by one or more equal time statements.
The note goes on to suggest that Senator Cruz's recent filibuster performance triggers a little known constitutional device known as the "Doover Clause" whereby the Romney Ryan loss can be transmogrified into a quasi victory. While it cannot technically change the vote count in the past election cycle (subject to state-by-state challenges beginning in Florida in 2014) it does mandate equal time on Air Force One.
"Why should this President have exclusive use of a great national symbol when patriots like Senators Cruz and Lee have to fundraise fly in lesser aircraft. This is not what the founders intended" - Louie Gohmert
When asked for comment Senator Cruz said "I'm flattered. While I can walk on water I have yet to master the art of flight. Until that shining day when I can take to the skies with Mike Lee on my back I would appreciate the honor of traveling this great nation on Air Force One"
Senator Lee, who was shining Senator Cruz's shoes at the time, looked up and added "as a Constitutional scholar and gun owner I'm going to insist that Air Force One is renamed Patriot Eagle One In the Chamber"
Apparently the flip side of the note was a receipt for 2 cases of Jim Beam and a dozen Titleists.