Jan 21, 2015
House Republicans vow not to fund Govt unless Slave Ownership is reinstated.
Fresh after winning numerous victories as a result of defunding the Government, House GOP Teabaggers have finally embraced their strategy to try and reinstate slavery.
“Well, after our recent success at stopping all abortion, bringing back prayer in schools and mandatory gun ownership, we figured, why not” said Tea party favorite Ted Cruz. “A lot of people in the south were fervently against this ridiculous idea that we should end slavery, it actually resulted in a Civil War” said Cruz. “Now we think that the Emancipation Proclamation was basically a flawed document, and we demand that President Obama revist the law.” Cruz stated after a high level meeting with leaders of the GOP
But conservatives were jubilant as they left the meeting, and they identified Cruz as the force that pushed a reluctant GOP leadership to the brink.
"I think Ted Cruz did a huge service to the nation and to the cause of Republicanism," Rep. John Culberson (R-Texas) told The Huffington Post.
"[He played] an excellent role," said Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.). "I think what he's done is strengthened our hand. He's made the case that we need to act and act decisively, and so I think we have a lot to credit him for."
Rep. John Fleming (R-La.) called Cruz's role "huge."
Not all Republicans are pleased with the strategy. One California GOP member is disgusted with Republican Sen. Ted Cruz and the Tea Party House members he blames for the current impasse.
Make no mistake, Tulare Republican Congressman Devin Nunes voted for every one of the GOP's continuing resolutions that contained provisions to bring back slavery — amendments that have been stripped out by the Democrat-majority Senate over and over again. Nunes says the GOP had the moral high ground in bringing back slavery, "But we didn't fight on that." Instead, Nunes says the party is sending mixed messages.
He blames fellow GOP House members and Texas Senator Cruz for pushing the party off a cliff. "They're lemmings, they're followers," said Nunes, following a Republican caucus meeting Tuesday afternoon. "They're just waiting for the next guy in front of the mic, the next guy that's on TV, and they're going to run out and follow them."
Slavery would be good for the economy argues Michelle Bachman, another Tea Party Favorite. “This would be a good stimulus, and Slavery is endorsed in the Bible” Bachman stated in an interview Monday. “I mean, not all black folk would be slaves, it’s not like we’re asking the President to go out and pick cotton”
Democrats argue that this is a valid law that has been on the books for over a hundred years. “We are not going to negotiate on Slavery” states Harry Reid. “And I am unanimous in that. Just because we gave in on Guns, abortion and healthcare doesn’t mean we’re going to bend over every time a Republican gets a hard on”