Last night, Jon Stewart continued his truth-telling romp, focusing his ire on the denizens of Bullshit Mountain, also known as Fox News, for all their repeated lies about the government shutdown. He then talked about it with a furloughed federal employee, Smokey the Bear.
Obviously, we're going to begin tonight as we have begun for the past three nights (makes choking sign) with our continuing coverage of...Video below the fold.
All right, now in the past few days, you may have developed the impression that nothing in America works anymore. Not only is the government shut down, but the health care exchanges that the shutdown was supposed to prevent are also, well, somewhat shut down.
So! But I am pleased to report that there is one organization that is currently working at peak efficiency. It's located in a small hamlet off of Rockefeller Center, and that place is known as Bullshit Mountain. (wild audience cheering and applause)
See, over on Bullshit Mountain — I didn't realize that had come up — over on Bullshit Mountain, they've realized that this shutdown ain't looking so hot for one particular political party.ELISABETH HASSELBECK (10/3/2013): According to the Media Research Center, network evening news stories over the last two weeks have blamed the GOP 21 times, and blamed Democrats none.And they're also blaming floods on water, not fire! And sunsets on the rotation of the Earth, not giant feathered serpents who devour the Sun at night!
Yes, it appears as though during this shutdown, facts are mattering. Well, we can't have that. To the Bullshitinator!SEAN HANNITY (10/2/2013): We're also seeing firsthand the devastating impact this liberal shutdown is having....Liberal shutdown, hm? The feces is strong in this one. (audience laughter)
All right, shutdown relabeled.SEAN HANNITY (10/2/2013): Veterans had to move barricades to gain access to the World War II memorial in our nation's capitol.Yes, of course they are. Could there be a higher octane fuel for Fox News's false outrage exploitation engine than wheelchair-bound World War II veterans? There is... maybe a fetus that owns a small business, and that small business makes Merry Christmas muzzle cozies.
LOU DOBBS (10/2/2013): The President and Democrats insisting on closing the memorials to the public.
MONICA CROWLEY (10/3/2013): The Democrats, President Obama, this White House, they've denied these vets access, they've shut down these national parks, they're doing it all deliberately to inflict maximum pain on the American people.
That would be the only outrage. They will storm the barricades to make sure these maybe 100 veterans get into the memorial, whilst forgetting it's their allies' asinine budget shenanigans that not only shut it in the first place, but also put Meals on Wheels at risk — a program which serves meals to over 500,000 veterans a year. So unless that World War II memorial is made of food — note to self — that eliminates the need for the separate snack bar.
That's why outrage from Bullshit Mountain can almost never be taken seriously.REP. STEVE PEARCE, R-NM (3/16/2013): Government is not the solution to the problem, government is the problem.(mocking Woodall's hand gestures) I know! ♫ Waaaaaaaaa!!!!
SEN. TED CRUZ, R-TX (3/16/2013): Government control hurts those struggling to achieve the American dream.
REP. CHUCK FLEISCHMANN, R-TN (2/10/2011): It is long overdue for the government to get out of the way.
SEN. KELLY AYOTTE, R-NH (1/1/2011): Make government smaller.
SEN. TOM COBURN, R-OK (3/4/2013): The best government is the smallest government.
REP. TED POE, R-TX (11/15/2010): Get government out of our lives.
REP. TODD ROKITA, R-IN (1/19/2011): Get the government out of our lives.
SEN. RON JOHNSON, R-WI (12/31/2012): Get government off of our backs.
SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER, R-OH (6/23/2011): It's too involved in our lives.
REP. MICHELE BACHMANN, R-MN (3/14/2011): We want less government.
REP. ROB WOODALL, R-GA (2/2/2012): If only the federal government would leave us alone!
See? You hate the government! Yet you wail like banshees if any of the services and benefits you like are taken away. You know who you are? You're The Jerk!NAVIN R. JOHNSON: I don't need this stuff! I don't need you! I don't need anything! Except this. ... And this paddle game. The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need! And this....(audience laughter and applause)
"I don't need any government! Except these memorials! And Social Security! And the paddle game!"
And then, in the middle of your outrage and sadness over the government shutdown, well, you always end up giving away the bullshit game.REP. MICHELE BACHMANN, R-MN (10/2/2013): We're really very energized today. We're very strong. This was about the happiest I've seen members in a long time.(audience laughter)
Yes, there is joy on Bullshit Mountain this day. For the government is shut, and the photo-ops be plentiful. And you almost have to admire how fully they can commit to their memes.STEVE DOOCY (10/3/2013): Well, we had a split-screen there with Benghazi. As it turns out, it looks as if more personnel were sent in to the World War II memorial to keep people out, than the State Department actually sent to Benghazi.(audience booing Doocy)
You know, I haven't been a director for very long, and I hate to criticize performances, I certainly don't want to give a line reading, but I'm pretty sure the news face you want to use to convey outrage and concern isn't shit-eating grin. (audience laughter)
The gratuitous and cavalier nature of that comparison truly shows how little they actually care about Benghazi except as a Ben-got-ya. Trademark! I'm gonna trademark that.