Question Number One: Can we get the fucking United States Congress to act like they fucking know what the fuck they're doing- or like they even fucking care?
Question Number Two: Why the fuck do we fucking put up with these fucking lazy-ass, bottom-feeding bastards, living off the government teet, who don't give one single tiny little fuck about you and me and any-fucking-body but their own fucking selves and whoever their fucking sugar daddy happens to be?
Question Number Three: How the fuck are we supposed to not be the fucking laughing stock of the entire fucking universe when we do stupid fucking things like shut down the fucking United States government because we can't fucking work together like normal fucking people have to do in normal fucking life all the fucking time?
Question Number Four: Why the fuck, if the government is fucking shut down and now nobody can take a nice fucking drive on the fucking Blue Ridge Parkway to see the fucking leaves change colors, or pick up their fucking WIC voucher for some fucking food, is John-fucking-idiot-Boehner still getting a fucking paycheck and not a fucking drink thrown in his weird fucking face?
Question Number Five: And further-fucking-more, why the fuck do the home-fucking-grown Tea Party terrorists have John-fucking-weird-face-idiot-Boehner by his fucking weak-ass balls?
Question Number Six: Why the fuck aren't these spoiled fucking asshole brats who we've given fucking jobs in the fucking embarrassment we still call the House of Representatives getting their fucking asses kicked in the fucking parking lot for all but shutting down fucking FEMA in the middle of fucking hurricane season?
Question Number Seven: Why the fuck does it seem like these selfish fucking pricks have made it their fucking life's work to shove regular people- unlike their pasty fucking privileged mooching asses- under the fucking bus just for the fucking sport of it? Like it's fucking funny to them.
Question Number Eight: Why the fuck are these fucking hateful, soulless, self-important SOBs running the country like a fucking street gang?
Question Number Nine: Why the fuck is anyone even fucking listening to fuckhead-whiney-ass Sarah-fucking-fake-patriot-Palin and her fucking dimwit greedy twin Michele-why-won't-she-fucking-go-away-Bachman and that fucking evil incarnate she-devil Ann-fucking-heartless-Coulter and their mean-as-fucking-Lucifer-himself cartoon friend Rush-fucking-crackhead-limp-dick-Limbaugh?
Question Number Ten: And fucking finally, why the fucking fuck does every fucking picture of John-fucking-weird-face-idiot-sold-his-soul-to-the-devil's-boss-Boehner look like he hasn't been to the fucking bathroom in for-fucking-ever?