We need to speak with our friends the Republicans in a language they'll understand. Klingon (Hab SoSlI' Quch!), the Black Speech (Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul), Pig Latin (Ixnay onway ethay azycray!) don't seem to be working, even though there is a handy Pig Latin Translator.
Let's think. You can't rule out the possibility that John Boehner could be a Red Lectroid from the 8th Dimension. His name is John just like the other Red Lectroids. You never see him and Lord John Whorfin together -- coincidence? And has anyone traced the campaign finance history of Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems recently?
But I think the explanation may lie elsewhere ... in the field of robotics!
We know the Republican party has been working on its outreach to woman voters.
Todd Akin (R-Mystery Science Theater 3000) sweeps
women voters off their feet!
We can't underestimate the Republican robotic threat -- consider their youth outreach program:
But what to do? Again, let history be our guide. The last time an unstoppable soul-less from another dimension robot was going to destroy the Earth -- what worked then?
Okay, let's try it together (repeat after me):