Dear Tea Party members:
You are our brethren, and we would love to have you with us - but you need to learn a few things on how our democracy is different from Canada. You require this from every naturalized citizen, so we thought you should know it too. We believe you would like Canada better. Here is why:
1. In America we have something called due process. You seem to hate that.
2. In America, if you don't like the constitution you amend it. There are 27 amendments. They are part of the constitutions. If you don't want to live by these, that's ok. You move to Canada.
In Canada you ARE allowed to change the laws and shoot down the government with 50.1% of the vote in parliament. It is called "A vote of no confidence".
In Canada the conservatives are allowed to attack the other parties as liberals. One is actually admitting to being liberals! (They are called liberals). The other is called `New Democrats.' Are you in heaven yet?
OH. You carry the US constitution in your pocket? Lovely! Including the XIII, XIV, XV and XXIV amendments, right? Oh, not those? Why don't you like them?
That's OK. You can change them.
So, if you are still not persuaded about Canada? Here is how you change them: You get the presidency, two thirds of congress, and get 3/4 (that's three fourths, for those of you that can't count. I know you are there) of states to agree. We have 50 states, so only 38 states needed. We may even be the one moving to Canada if you do that!
There is even a way to do this without getting the presidency: Get the 3/4 of the governors, and 2/3 of congress in those 38 states, and have them call a convention, and if it passes those, the senate can approve without the president.
Oh, you may just try that?
Go ahead! Make my day!
2. Oh, you just don't like SOME LAWS that aren't the constitution?
Like, basically, Social Security and the Affordable Care Act?
And on alternating Tuesdays Medicare and Medicaid?
At least that is what I heard from some of your vocal leaders like Ted Cruz (whose FROM Canada), or conservative commentator Mark Steyn (whose FROM Canada).
Great! Change those laws! You get elected with a majority of votes to the executive and legislative branches of government. Then you pass laws.
Oh, you can't have the presidency? That's fair. Win 2/3 of the votes in congress and you can offer new laws to supersede existing ones, then override the president's veto. It's all in that pesky little book in your pocket! Really!
Canadians don't have to get through this nonsense. They elect a party that with 50% of the votes change the law.
And guess what! Part of their constitution includes traditional customs. That would include some customs that may be hard for you to understand - but you will learn...
I do warn you: They have some pesky laws there too... Like a single payer health care law...
*I do apologize in advance to my Canadian friends if some of those Tea Party people indeed tried to move to Canada. Still, we helped you with funding for Ice Hockey, you can help us with beating some people on the head with sticks.