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Wall Street lobbyist: “Thank God the Republicans didn’t tank the economy.”

Democratic Senator: “I tried to warn you about them…”

Wall Street lobbyist: “We're done with those crazy racists.  Now you guys can get back to dealing with the big problems.”

Democratic Senator: “I certainly hope so.”

Wall Street lobbyist: “Our debt is out of control.  It’s time to really be serious adults and cut government spending.”

Democratic Senator: “Wait a minute…”

Wall Street lobbyist: “Let’s start with making the sequester permanent!”

Democratic Senator: “The sequester cuts programs for poor kids and the military, we need to create jobs---”

Wall Street lobbyist: “OK you’re right of course.  Maybe we could replace Medicare with vouchers instead!  Hey by the way could you use this $25,000 donation to your re-election campaign?”

Democratic Senator: “No.  No cuts.”

Wall Street lobbyist: “Relax, I’m just kidding.  I meant $100,000.  How about Chained CPI cuts to Social Security?”

Democratic Senator: “No cuts.”

Wall Street lobbyist: “You know you deserve a $500,000 a year consulting job in our Manhattan office after you retire.  Also, here’s a suitcase full of money.”

Democratic Senator: “Hmmm... How about tax cuts?”


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