Wall Street lobbyist: “Thank God the Republicans didn’t tank the economy.”
Democratic Senator: “I tried to warn you about them…”
Wall Street lobbyist: “We're done with those crazy racists. Now you guys can get back to dealing with the big problems.”
Democratic Senator: “I certainly hope so.”
Wall Street lobbyist: “Our debt is out of control. It’s time to really be serious adults and cut government spending.”
Democratic Senator: “Wait a minute…”
Wall Street lobbyist: “Let’s start with making the sequester permanent!”
Democratic Senator: “The sequester cuts programs for poor kids and the military, we need to create jobs---”
Wall Street lobbyist: “OK you’re right of course. Maybe we could replace Medicare with vouchers instead! Hey by the way could you use this $25,000 donation to your re-election campaign?”
Democratic Senator: “No. No cuts.”
Wall Street lobbyist: “Relax, I’m just kidding. I meant $100,000. How about Chained CPI cuts to Social Security?”
Democratic Senator: “No cuts.”
Wall Street lobbyist: “You know you deserve a $500,000 a year consulting job in our Manhattan office after you retire. Also, here’s a suitcase full of money.”
Democratic Senator: “Hmmm... How about tax cuts?”