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Monday Morning Poetry Slam

Very clever, Mr. Cruz.

Microphone on stage under spotlight
You sharpened your extremist views
Consulted your fundraising muse
From the tea party you took your cues
With extremists you did schmooze
(The ones who couldn't buy themselves clues)
And then you lit the fuse
In fancy wingtip shoes

Like molasses, your venom did ooze
Our democracy you did misuse
While orchestrating your ruse
Tightening your screws
And making your GOP colleagues choose
(Through breath reeking of booze)
The manner by which they would all lose
Leaving the Grand Old Party singin' the blues

I saw the outcome on the evening news
The backlash left you with a Texas-size bruise

Oh, yes. Very clever indeed, Mr. Cruz.

Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Monday, October 21, 2013

Note: Leaf unemployment surges as millions are let go.  Film at 11.


By the Numbers:
Days 'til Halloween: 10
Days 'til the Terlingua International Championship Chili Cookoff in Texas: 10
Value by which the broad stock market has increased this year: $4 trillion
As a percentage: 23.5%
(Source: Wilshire Associates)
Number of characters Chinese students need to master for functional literacy: 4,000
(Source: USA Today)
Average number of times in a year that single men aged 18-25 wash their sheets: 4
(Source: Details)

MLB Championship Playoffs
Boston Red Sox win the pennant over the Detroit Tigers 4 games to 2
St. Louis Cardinals win the pennant over the L.A. Dodgers 4 games to 2


Puppy Pic of the Day: Welcome…


CHEERS to more "Mazel tovs!"  It amazes me how quickly the dominoes can fall on the issue of marriage equality.  For example: there were no legally-binding marriage ceremonies for gay couples being performed in New Jersey on Friday.  Then the state Supreme Court waved its magic wand and---[Jazz Hands!!!]---wedding bells be ringin' on Monday!  In fact, by the time you read this Cory Booker has likely performed at least seven ceremonies, which I believe makes him the first senator-elect to do so.  Of course, opponents---led by the National Organization for Marriage---will be mad as hornets.  After all, look at the kinds of despicable people the state now views as "equal under the law":

Same-sex marriage map with marriage-equality states in solid blue.  New Jersey added October 21, 2013.
Updated map with marriage-
equality states in blue. New
Mexico may join 'em this week.
They met through mutual friends at a party. [Beth] Asaro asked [Joanne] Schailey for her phone number. Schailey, smitten, gave it.

For their first date, they ate dinner at a Chinese restaurant and watched the movie “Stand By Me.” Twenty-seven years later, it’s a tradition that remains intact, the couple said in the living room of their home.  A night of Chinese food and a movie is “still our favorite thing to do,” Asaro said.

Figures. Embracing communist vittles and a movie with an anti-gun message---lord help us all.  Meanwhile, the New Jersey Association of Wedding Planners issued a brief statement: "Woohoooo!!!!!"  Who says Mondays have to suck?

CHEERS to words of wisdom from an expectant father.  From what I understand, Kossack 'Ministry of Truth'---aka Jesse LaGreca, aka the most popular voice of the Occupy movement---is going to be a dad soon.  Despite having that on his mind, he joined Ed Schultz Friday for a discussion of the tea party's latest Quixotic stand.  I thought he drew a nice contrast between the current state of the left and the right:

Ed Show screen grab with Jesse laGreca, aka Ministry of Truth...10/18/13
The only time you'll ever see Jesse
LaGreca on the (lower) right.
"If you want to compare and contrast what has Occupy Wall Street done versus what has the tea party done: well, Occupy Wall Street didn’t cost America 24 billion dollars [and] shut down the government across the country … Occupy Wall Street talked about creating a better economy for a hundred percent of America, recognizing the fact that the wealthiest one percent are basically profiting off the rest of us, and taking money out of politics. … The tea party has basically proven to America that if the conservatives actually get more conservative, every independent voter in America will run screaming in the opposite direction."
Upon which we'll welcome them with open arms.  And lots of towels to wipe off the residual slime.

JEERS to the "fearful" warmonger.  Another bizarre revelation from the previous administration came to light over the weekend when Dick Cheney revealed that in 2007 he had doctors swap out his high-tech defibrillator for one without remote-control capacity.  Reason: he was scared that terrorists would figure out how to short-circuit his heart by remote control.  So obviously they went for his brain instead.  (And apparently succeeded beyond their wildest dreams.)

CHEERS to flying fingers.  On October 21, 1918, a typing speed record was set by Margaret Owen of New York City: 170 words per minute on a manual typewriter.  Here's a sample:

Jig Thyebeg   ehdrhi slaw 948has no jdo0-fghbf reydhgnc convkde braggadocio 94u8457b og nut arkblarg Gimbel manly thwabe rocks
It was the start of a lucrative career writing Republican campaign speeches.

CHEERS to being wanted.  A violin used by the band leader Wallace Hartley on the Titanic went on the auction block and was sold for $1.6 million:

Violin from the bandleader on the Titanic.  Sold at auction Oct. 19, 2013 for $1.6 million.
The price of history: $1.6 million.
The violin, with Hartley’s name on it, is believed to have been found at sea with the musician’s body more than a week after the Titanic sank.  “Mr. Hartley and the band were very brave people ... standing by their posts to the bitter end,” auctioneer Andrew Aldridge said ahead of the sale. … Aldridge said the buyer, who bid over the phone, wished to remain anonymous.
Democrats wanted to buy it to play a sad song for the recently-vanquished Republicans in Congress, but after inspecting it they agreed that it wasn't nearly small enough.  


Five years ago in C&J: October 21, 2008

POSITIVE THOUGHTS AND GOOD WISHES to the Obama family.  Barack is suspending his campaign activities Thursday and Friday so he can fly to Hawaii and, presumably, say goodbye to his grandmother, who appears to have taken a rapid turn for the worse.  Surrogates: to battle stations---and remember whose shoes you're filling.  Be snappy, pithy, funny, smart and cool.  We'll be taking notes.

CHEERS! to wet dreams.  In Marino, Italy, residents found they had an unexpected source of white wine---their taps:

Clam chowder in a bread bowl
No wine in our Maine taps,
but sometimes we get
chowder in our bread.
At the heart of the town's famous Sagra dell'Uva, or Grape Festival, is the moment when sparkling white wine flows from the fountains in the main square.

But this year locals and tourists had to make do with water, as bad plumbing meant the wine supply was switched by mistake to local homes.

There were only a few complaints.  Mainly from the village's insufferable pinot lovers.


And just one more…

CHEERS to steady hands.  Lost in all the political hubbub of late is the fact that Halloween is just around the corner.  We were planning to put on a fur-lined parka and a wig, climb in a crop-duster and rain candy corn down on all the good village folk. But apparently there are certain FAA "regulations" that prohibit such unfettered joy.  So instead, we thought it'd be nice to sit in a dark room and marvel at the insanely cool pumpkin carving skills of Ray Villafane, aka "The Picasso of pumpkin carving."  Like this one…

Master pumpkin carver Ray Villafane with one of his creations
See a bunch more at Villafane Studios.  I understand Ted Cruz really hates Halloween.  Every time he yawns someone tries to shove a candle in his mouth.

Have a tolerable Monday.  Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?


Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:

One million fake Bill in Portland Maines from China seized at airport
---NBC News


Suspected al Qaeda bigwig Abu Anas al Liby is facing trial in a federal court in New York City. Do you agree that terrorist suspects should be tried in civilian courts instead of by military tribunals?

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