But connecting with women is hard! You have to stop trying to shove transvaginal probes into them. And young people? Forget it! That would require things like "stop hating gays" and "stop being racist" and "stop being Republican". No shot there.
But Latinos? Why, conservatives convinced themselves they were naturally one of them because Latinos love their families, are Catholic, and work hard, except when they're being lazy Mexicans. Of course, no one else loves their families or work, and don't tell them about the new Pope, but in any case, the solution there was supposedly easy: pass comprehensive immigration reform. And by all indications, there is majority House support for the Senate's immigration reform bill. There might even be majority support within the GOP caucus itself!
But as we know, John Boehner abdicated his gavel to Ted Cruz and his merry band of nihilist terrorists. And they're still shedding tears over their inability to destroy the world economy. So, you know, f' you immigrants!
Other prominent immigration supporters like Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) have also backed off any deal, saying the Obama administration has “undermined” negotiations by not defunding his signature health care law. Rep. Raul Labrador (R-Idaho) went further, saying Obama is trying to “destroy the Republican Party” and that GOP leaders would be “crazy” to enter into talks with Obama.Who knew that political parties were in the business of lending their opponents a helping hand? And why, immigration reform was sailing through the House until Obama undermined all those efforts with his unreasonable efforts to prevent Republicans from undermining a properly passed Constitutional law!
And there's even more whining!
“After Obama poisoned the well in the fiscal showdown and [House Minority Leader Nancy] Pelosi now is actively trying to use immigration as a political weapon, the chances for substantive reforms, unfortunately, seem all but gone,” said one GOP operative involved in the conservative pro-immigration movement.Poisoned the well, ha ha ha! Why didn't the president let a tiny minority of the House, backed by a tiny minority of the American people, undermine a law outside of the legislative process? Hate to say it GOP operative too chickenshit to speak on the record—immigration is a political weapon. It's a big-ass honkin' political weapon. It's fucking huge. But once again, it's only a weapon because Republicans made it one. Just like the shutdown, had Republicans just shut the f' up and passed the routine continuing budget resolutions and debt ceiling increases, they'd be looking ... not great, but not as bad as today. Similarly, had Republicans passed immigration reform without histrionics, their standing with Latinos wouldn't be as rock-bottom as it is today.
But his tea party-dominated Republican Party has an uncanny ability to weaponize the most mundane and non-controversial matters (immigration reform is wildly popular with all Americans), and then point that weapon at their face.
So dear GOP, you want to disarm that weapon poised to blow up on your face? Just put it down. It's that simple. Pass immigration reform, and no Democrat will be able to use your intransigence against you in future elections. The choice is yours.