We have all heard the ugly details of the bullying scandal on the Miami Dolphins. But why did Richie Incognito pick out Jonathan Martin as a target? There's got to be more to this than the coach telling Incognito to "toughen up," Martin. It's a question nobody really seems to be asking, except of course, for those who would prefer to blame the victim, Martin.
I experienced bullying as a kid. I don't need to read about it to understand the dynamics of bullying. Bullies don't have the rest of their classmates draw straws to get to see who gets to be the next victim. Like the predators they are, they pick their targets of opportunity.
Their victims may be smaller and weaker than themselves. They may be simply different in some way from the rest of the students. They may not have a network of friends to rely on. They may simply be passive. In any case, once the bullies pick their target, all they need to succeed is an school administration that doesn't care, or that perhaps might even encourage their bullying.
Bullying doesn't just happen in school or to children. It can happen to adults. It can happen on the street. It can happen in the workplace. It's always about who has the power and who doesn't. But it will look very different when a senior manager at a brokerage firm bullies a newer member of a team, than say, than a schoolyard bully at a middle school terrorizing a classmates The methods are different, the tools are different. Instead of beating you up if you don't turn over your milk money, it might be more like not getting a promotion if you don't work extra hours without getting paid. But the dynamics will always be quite similar.
This incident in the NFL, though, looks a lot like the bullying you might see at a middle school or a high school, only the stakes are bigger,and the bullies are bigger and stronger.
Ok, I realize in big time sports, there will be a bit of trash talking in the locker room. But this is beyond anything that should be permitted. In the real world, dealing with your fellow employees with death threats gets you fired, and probably arrested, and maybe even some civil proceedings if your pockets are sufficiently deep. And if an real world employer were to know of this activity and do nothing, or worse, encourage it, we are talking perhaps seven figure lawsuits. Racial slurs by themselves without any threats will get you in serious trouble if you work for a decent company.
Like much of school yard bullying, this case had some vicious hazing, threats of violence, and even the acquiescence of the teachers and administrators coaches.
Martin was not some scared 90 pound weakling, or course. He's a professional football player. But, like most bullying victims, there had to be something different about him that made him a attractive target for bullies. I speculated that he was probably quiet and bookish. And although no doubt tough on the field like any football player, would be someone who didn't have an aggressive personality in his everyday life. I expected him to be like the honor student who studies his tail off, and get beaten up for being a nerd, and the teachers don't do a thing, because they think it's his own fault for being a nerdish loner.
I looked Martin up in Wikipedia. Sure enough, I guessed right. He definitely stood out from the pack. The Wikipedia says the following about his family background:
Martin's father, Gus Martin, is a Harvard University graduate and a professor of criminal justice administration at California State University, Dominguez Hills. His mother, Jane Howard-Martin, is also a Harvard graduate and is a corporate lawyer for Toyota. Martin has a total of nine relatives who graduated from Harvard including his grandfather, a professor in international development, and his maternal great grandfather, one of a dozen African-American students there in the 1920s.
He comes from a family background the bleeds success in the world of higher education.
And Wikipedia describes his academic choice:
Martin held offers from Mississippi, UCLA, and Utah, but narrowed his decision down to Stanford, which offered him an athletic scholarship, or Harvard, which does not offer athletic scholarships. He committed to the Cardinal on January 11, 2008
This is a man who was the odd man out from day one. It's no surprise that bullies would seek him out. It not surprising that he didn't resort to violence against Richie Incognito, because that's not likely his personality, and a bullies like Incognito are quite good at picking out soft targets. It's not surprising that his peers didn't go to his defense, because they probably never accepted him as one of their own.
What is shocking that an NFL team could allow something like this to go on as long as it did. This is a man who should be held up as a role model for youth. He has worked his tail off on the field and in the classroom. I'm reasonably sure something will be done to remedy this, because whether or not the NFL cares about doing the right thing, they do care about protecting their brand.
I always thought that you don't have to love the people you work with, but you do need to respect them and be a team player. Apparently, some members of the NFL don't agree.
I praise Jonathan Martin for having the courage to report this. It's not surprising that certain scumbags in the media have beaten him up over this and questioned his masculinity. Bullying victims are often made to feel they deserve to be bullied. It's not just the bullies that try to instill a sense of shame on their victims, but sometimes the authorities victimize them doubly. And you see some of the "authorities" - in this case, media people, doing the same thing in this incident. And I hope this horror story, and whatever the Dolphins and the NFL do to address this will be an example to schools around the country to take on bullying.