Sadly, I must confess that I have not always seen eye to eye with Rand Paul. But, his latest monumental accomplishments have shown me the error of my ways. I must now acknowledge that he is a genius when it comes to business plans...and hair combing too. But, while excels at both, his real strength is business plans.
Why do I say this? Well, my dear kossacks, he is pioneer of copyright reform who has inspired me to
copy, I mean use with proper footnoting, his bold, new copyright ideas as the basis for my business plan. Like all genius business plans, it is simple and short. Here's the true lightbulb moment:
I plan to start putting my name on Stephen King's books. I will place quotation marks at the beginning and end of the books, and then add a footnote somewhere in the text saying that he wrote the book instead of me.The readers can have loads of fun playing a new game I call "Where's the Footnote." It's kind of like "Where's Waldo," only with a copyright infringement theme. Also, it's totally not a copy of Where's Waldo. It's an improvement. So, follow me below the squiggle (which I also totally invented) and I will elaborate on some additional genius points of the plan.
Now, I know what some of you are saying.
This is some pretty weak tea.
Who's Stephen King?
Dude, why don't you write a real diary?
BUT, reading between the lines, which is a skill I share with Rand Paul, I think it's clear what you're really saying is:
Tell me more about this BONANZA and how can I get in on it.Well, Stephen King is just the beginning. I have big plans to apply my business model to a collection of work formerly known as the Library of Congress, but henceforth known by the snappier, more modern name, the Library of Tekno.
The only wrinkle is that we have to give the new business model some time to get all the kinks ironed out. For instance, as I have been applying
Rand's MY revolutionary copyright reform ideas to some of the great works of the English Language Tekno Language, I have sometimes forgotten to put the footnotes in these texts explaining that other people wrote them instead of me. Some curmudgeonly, old "authors" have gotten "upset" about this completely unintentional omission on my part. I have tried to explain to these surly, ill-tempered dinosaurs that times have changed. There's money to be made off this genius business plan, and according to the Gospel of Ayn Rand, anything that makes money is moral, right? Also, I have pointed out that I am a very important person, so it is totally ok if I sometimes forget to credit authors who are less important people than I am. However, some of them have still had the gall to criticize me for this...in public, no less!!! So, I have had to challenge those bastards to duels. But, once I finishing with a couple of pending duels, and demonstrate my awesome duel fighting skills, I think I will be back on track with my business plan.
So, wish me luck. And, if you want more details on my business plan, they are available for the low, low price of only $19.95.
Editorial note: If some of this made you giggle, or even chortle a little bit under your breath, please continue being awesome and give me a tip and rec. Thanks, folks!