Morgan Freeman? Fuck that noise. My life would probably be narrated by a very high Mark Twain.
If Superman had landed on my property and I had raised him as my son? We'd have been robbing banks the day he turned 16 and telling the army to fuck off.
Need a Flathead screwdriver? Power plug prongs fit most normal-sized screws! Or just buy a damn two-dollar screwdriver.
Today's affirmation: "I am the best possible me I can be without corrective surgery and years of therapy."
Compassion has become a lost art. We compliment people for doing what they should have done anyway and look the other way when they don't.
Put the energy into the world that you wish to have returned to you. Or don't, it's not like anyone gives a fuck.
I'll warn you about me because fuck you and I told you so.