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Maybe it was just a clever marketing ploy by Nickelodeon, but there was a recent episode of SpongeBob SquarePants that got conservative news types all atwitter.  Turns out, SpongeBob was to get fired, be tempted by the wonders of unemployment and the social safety net, but in the end, realize that good old fashioned hard work was his salvation.

The Ayn Rand no-moochers crowd loved the message and could barely contain their excitement about SpongeBob's upcoming free market proselytizing.  It was all particularly silly because not that long ago, Mr. SquarePants was in hot water for tempting America's youth into a life of homosexuality, all the while espousing the dangers of man-made global warming.

Then it dawned on me.  Right-Wing Ralphie was born in 2005 in response to dustups over liberal cartoons, including one where PBS got in trouble for sending a cute bunny to visit lesbians in Maine.  (I'm not making this up.) This looks like a job for a good ol' fashioned right-winger cartoon character!  Say hello to Ralphie, comment, share and enjoy the continuing cartoon crusade.  You can always find more links to the stories behind the cartoons on my website.

[narrator intro]

While conservatives hoped SpongeBob SquarePants would now promote their ideology, another stronger more truly conservative cartoon character was already at their beck and call!

[Right-Wing Ralphie]

Hoohoohoohoooo!

It's me, Right-Wing Ralphie!  And I've been truly right since way back when SpongeBob first started experimenting with same-sex/different-species relationships!

I mean, do you really think an undersea sponge who writes books about global warming is the right choice for the conservative cause?

Right-Wing Ralphie is right for the right, because . . .

I live in a magical land where tax cuts always mean more jobs!

A land where only the lazy are unemployed,

And the safety net is what you wear to keep my burgers safe from your stray hairs! Hoohoohoohooo!

In RightWingLandia, you can choose any health care provider in a wide, open, unfettered free-market-- from high end face-lifts, to bargain-basement leech-suckings, loppings and free policy cancellations!

But remember, the best health care is preventative care-- with guns!

God loves guns and so should you!  Hoohoohoohoooo!

So why rely on that phony cartoon character, SpongeBob, when everyone knows Right-Wing Ralphie is the true Conservative Cartoon!  Hoohoohoohoooo!

Oh!  And I almost forgot-- in RightWingLandia, only Rand Paul has access to Wikipedia.  Hoohoohoohoooo!  Toodleooo!

Originally posted to Comics on Fri Nov 15, 2013 at 06:50 AM PST.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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Comment Preferences

  •  I recall an early episode where Spongebob (6+ / 0-)

    and Squidward go on strike.  The ultimate message certainly isn't liberal, but I must say when I first saw it (hey, I had kids who loved the show!) that I was pleasantly shocked to see such a subject could even be broached (esp. on a kids' show).

    Squid on Strike

    "Push the button, Max!" Jack Lemmon as Professor Fate, The Great Race

    by bartcopfan on Fri Nov 15, 2013 at 07:22:17 AM PST

  •  I'm getting sicker and sicker... (4+ / 0-)

    of Right-WingLandia and their attempts to put the monkey wrench into the Nation for their own satisfaction of getting everyone they don't approve of out of the picture.

    But you all know that even IF THEY DID THAT, then they would, like the warlords of Somalia, West Africa, Russia, and every other government-less region, they would then commence eliminating the least powerful of their own "kind".

    Until only one man is remaining on the trash heap of Mother Gaia, brandishing his war weapon, looking around and around to see if anyone is left to fight.

    Pardon my french, but GOP/TPers are such goddamm basterts.

    Ugh. --UB.

    "Daddy, every time a bell rings, a Randian Libertaria­n picks up his Pan Am tickets for the Libertaria­n Paradise of West Dakota!"

    by unclebucky on Fri Nov 15, 2013 at 07:25:45 AM PST

  •  Most people I know fit that comment (7+ / 0-)
    Turns out, SpongeBob was to get fired, be tempted by the wonders of unemployment and the social safety net, but in the end, realize that good old fashioned hard work was his salvation.
    The only people I know of that, as a large group, don't fit that description are those on the wingnut welfare circuit:  Gingrich, Palin, etc.

    "Harass us, because we really do pay attention. Look at who's on the ballot, and vote for the candidate you agree with the most. The next time, you get better choices." - Barney Frank

    by anonevent on Fri Nov 15, 2013 at 07:27:42 AM PST

  •  Lovely coup de grace on Rand Paul ! n/t (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    wader, foresterbob
  •  The primary message of that SpongeBob episode (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    dougymi, bartcopfan, suzq, foresterbob

    was that Mr. Krabs (i.e., the business executive) fired a poverty-wage employee of many years in the company . . . to gain $0.05 of profit in his own bank account.

    SpongeBob has always found easy identification and meaning for himself by being aligned with his work at the Krusty Krab - that's never been something new, but I guess the Teabaggers (and media which loves their extremism) need something artificial to cheer for, once in awhile.

    "So, please stay where you are. Don't move and don't panic. Don't take off your shoes! Jobs is on the way."

    by wader on Fri Nov 15, 2013 at 07:53:02 AM PST

  •  SpongeBob IS subversive (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    foresterbob

    which is why I ALWAYS let me kids watch it.  The writing is AMAZING.  It's a very high quality show.

    Another show I like, and one that has a lot of hidden messages and very good writing is AdventureTime.

  •  Support single-payer (0+ / 0-)

    You will be having Democratic conventions of some sort next year. In Texas it starts with precinct conventions the evening of the primary, starting at 7 PM at the voting place, when the polls close. Procedures may be different in other states. Do try to go to the state convention and vote for a single-payer resolution.
    HR 676 is a single-payer sponsored by Rep. John Conyers (D-MI), with 51 co-sponsors. Tell your representative you support something of this sort. There does not seem to be a Senate companion. Maybe your senators will sponsor one if you ask.
    The ACA unfortunately is just half a solution, a complicated set of compromises.

    Censorship is rogue government.

    by scott5js on Fri Nov 15, 2013 at 09:49:49 AM PST

  •  I saw this one. (0+ / 0-)

    But, then again, I have a two-year old in the house, so I see all of them. I am constantly amazed by the realism of this cartoon. Who knew you could be a fry cook underwater?

    "Know that it is easier to get into something than it is to get out of it." - Donald Rumsfeld

    by teej on Fri Nov 15, 2013 at 11:24:19 AM PST

  •  Hi Mark, For several weeks now have been unable (0+ / 0-)

    to access the video portion of your wonderful animated feature. The sound plays, but the screen is black. Any Ideas?

    "Three things cannot be long hidden: The Sun, The Moon, and The Truth." Buddha

    by Grandson named me Papa on Fri Nov 15, 2013 at 02:09:57 PM PST

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