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We all occasionally say things we really wish we hadn’t, especially when meeting new people.  For some reason, meeting a deaf person seems to really bring out those moments in people.

  In the hopes of  helping you avoid these embarrassing moments, I’m sharing a list of things you should never say or do when meeting a deaf person. All of which, in case you’re wondering, have been said to me. And my friends. More than once.

1. Thinking that screaming at a deaf person, in an attempt to get them to hear you, actually works.
 Sorry to tell you, it doesn't work. If anything, it's actually possible that you're making us even MORE deaf from all your screaming. Not to mention, half the time it only makes you look like some sort of foolish lunatic who we need to back away from NOW.

2. When people speak to you slowly, as if you were a moron who couldn't understand English.
This is the exact opposite of screaming at us deaf people, but this is just as annoying. You don't need to speak THAT slowly... sure, not all of us have perfect lip reading skills but some of us can usually read lips at normal speeds. by doing this, you not only look completely stupid, but you look like a condescending asshole.

3. Upon hearing that you are deaf, they immediately say things like:  "Oh, do you know Bob over in the city ___?" Bonus points if the city is practically on the other side of the world, making it completely impossible for you to have known that Bob, unless though some unusual circumstances.

 Do you honestly believe all deaf people have this giant mysterious borg-like connection to one other that lets them instantly know each deaf person out there? Oh, you do? well then in that case... everyone will become deaf! resistance is futile!

   but seriously, use your brain a little, please. How would this random deaf person know the only other deaf person you know of? Especially if the two deaf people have never gone to the same school, hasn't been raised in the same state at all, and pretty much lives on opposite sides of the world?

4. Jabbing you in the ribs and the like and going: "can you hear me now?" or even touching your head, or other parts of your body just to get your attention.

What is this? Are we trapped in a Verizon commercial? and what's with disrespecting my personal space? not cool! How would you feel if people did that to you?

5. Even worse, throwing things at you to get your attention.

 Um, that's just fucking rude, no way around it. look, I don't mind it if you flash lights or wave your hands in front of me to get my attention. just please, respect my personal space and treat me like a person, mmkay?

 also, I had my nose broken this way once. So this act can be dangerous too.

6. when people stare like idiots at deaf people signing, for as long as you are in that public place.

I know seeing sign language is rare for you, but come on! haven't your momma ever told you that it was impolite to stare at people? also, it's like eavesdropping on a spoken conversation  if deaf people were ever to do this to each other.  so consider this action twice as rude than ever for deaf people.

7. chewing on gum, turning their heads away or doing anything else that makes lip-reading harder for us to do.

 um, hello? We are trying to listen to you speak directly to us by lip-reading your lips. so why are you deliberately making it harder for us? Don't you realize that you'll have to constantly repeat yourself a lot if you do this? then naturally this ends up in a "nevermind!" by both frustrated parties. worse, you keep on repeating this sort of behavior all the time after repeatedly being told many times why you shouldn't do this!

8. When you flat out ignore the deaf person to talk to a hearing person who is with the deaf person, espeically if the said person is a 12-year-old child.

this actually happened to me when I was out shopping with my nephew. His parents couldn't take him to get some new school clothes so I told them that I would help out by taking him to get his school clothes. The store clerk totally refused to talk to me directly, and instead spoke to the little boy.

  Okay, so you're willing to treat a 12-year-old as an adult who's shopping there but you won't even speak to a 29 year old who's actually doing all the purchases for the entire family? What the heck is wrong with this picture? and sadly, this is not a isolated incident... I've heard plenty of similar stories like this. I guess we're just invisible people, or worse, not human. :P

9. complimenting deaf people for being so smart just simply because they can speak perfectly, or read... or be educated in gerenal.

 um, Speaking has nothing to do with intelligence. I know plenty of hearing people who can speak perfectly too, yet they do plenty of dumb things. like do every single thing on this list.

 But hearing people thinks that.... We're oh so ever smart for being able to do what every human on earth can do. That is, the ability to write, read and speak perfectly.
 by being so amazed at our ability to speak, read, and write you're somehow implying that you thought all deaf people were stupider than rednecks with a third-grade education (and possibly monkeys) to start with.

10. Imagine going out with a group of hearing people and then find yourself being isolated from the group chats. You can understand everyone and can easily participate in the conversation... however every time you say anything you're completely ignored. All because you're deaf.

Okay, got it... you think I'm not a person at all. So therefore my thoughts, feelings and words are not valid enough for you to respond to them at all. in that case I have to say... BYE, I'm never seeing you assholes again! See if I ever hang out with you again. fucking asshole!

 That's basically what I tell people if they start treating me this way.

11. "Oh I'm sorry to hear that" (walks away). "I'll pray hard for god to cure your deafness!"  and so on forth....

 I know you guys mean well by saying things like this, but.... I have to say there's nothing wrong with us! most of us were born with this, and it's definitely NOT a illness  or anything that would cut into the quality of our lives. Many of us even can play and enjoy music. Most of us work, drive cars and such just like everyone else. So, there's almost zero difference between us and any hearing person. And well... after hearing such statements like that almost 95% of the time can make a deaf person feel VERY CRANKY. After all, if you were born with something that god gave you, something that never really made your life hard... wouldn't it annoy you if people kept on saying things like this all the fucking time?

  it's basically like you have to walk around holding a giant sign that says: "Guys, I'm not sick or anything. please save your prayers for those who truly need it, like people with cancer!"

12. Do not ever in any circumstances, try to push colecar implants on any deaf people if they don't want to get it, espeically if they are happy to be deaf. they've been this way their whole lives,  so to become suddenly hearing would be just as much a hard adjustment as it would be for a hearing person suddenly becoming deaf! Sometimes you need to just leave things like that alone. also, C. implants requires a lot of surgery.... so it would be like if I kept on telling you that you weren't good enough the way you were right now and therefore had to go into major surgery to fix everything that was "wrong" with you even though none of it was life-threatening!

    also, it also makes you look like a obsessive person who insists on everyone being clones of each other. it's like you're threatened of diversity of something! gasp! can't have people being different to one each other! oh the horror!

 13. Asking a deaf person, "How do you drive?"
I use my eyes. How do YOU drive??  I’m amazed at how many people think that deaf people cannot–or should not–get their driver’s license.  Studies have shown that deaf drivers are no more likely to get in to an accident than hearing drivers, and actually tend to have lower accident rates.

 Why? Because Hearing people depend way too much on sound instead of their sight, and is often distracted by radio, cellphones, etc. Deaf people use mirrors and their eyes, and is far more cautious than hearing people who grow complacent in their driving.

14. calling child abuse services and such just because you think deaf people shouldn't ever ride on bicycles or play basketball games outside like every other normal child, and thinks that the parents are being neglectful for letting them be normal kids.

 I've said it before... but deaf people are not blind, mentally impaired or any other thing that would prevent them from being able to play safely just like any hearing kids out there. so you are only wasting the time of child services agents who could had been using this time more effectively looking into ACTUAL child abuse cases!

 I made this list because I was inspired by those lists, which you also should read: and

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Comment Preferences

  •  This is good information to have (12+ / 0-)

    but the delivery feels angry and somewhat insulting to the dear readers here.  Just a thought.

  •  Thank you. (13+ / 0-)

    While I endeavor at all times to avoid being rude  ..

    I can certainly see myself, in what for me would be a rare situation, behaving poorly.

    So while you and I may never meet, let me apologize now. And hope that I am able to learn from your writing, so I will be better behaved in the future.

  •  I ran into a situation this morn (9+ / 0-)

    two ladies were looking at photos and signing to each other ,
    I knew the questions and the answers but I didn't know if they could hear me when I talked , I watched a bit and decided one was deaf and the other was not , I talked to the one who I thought was not deaf , she answered and then signed to the other what the answers were . She then asked me to show that what I was saying was true , I pointed out the truth via info in the photo .

    "please love deeply...openly and genuinely." A. M. H.

    by indycam on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 06:11:28 PM PST

  •  I'm glad to think I've never done (8+ / 0-)

    any of these; but it's not hard to imagine.  Thanks for the effort to enlighten those of us who haven't a clue.

    You can't spell CRAZY without R-AZ.

    by rb608 on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 06:15:25 PM PST

  •  I'm guilty of one of your don'ts (16+ / 0-)

    I am fascinated by sign language. I can't help but stare at it, trying to figure out the language. When someone is speaking and they have a sign interpreter I normally can't remember what was said because my focus is on the signing.

    Mea Culpa.

    I am sorry and will do my very best to never do that again.

    And daddy won't you take me back to Muhlenberg County Down by the Green River where Paradise lay. Well, I'm sorry my son, but you're too late in asking Mister Peabody's coal train has hauled it away. John Prine

    by high uintas on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 06:20:30 PM PST

  •  A mechanic where I take my car is deaf (17+ / 0-)

    When I first met him, I told him that I was a preschool teacher and I teach simple ASL to my students (please, thank-you, I'm sorry- ...).  He thought that was nice.

    Several of the other mechanics said they learn new signs every day.  And they get Jerry's attention by using a flashlight.

    Growing old is inevitable...Growing up is purely optional

    by grannycarol on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 06:25:47 PM PST

  •  Thank you, Aurora Moon. (9+ / 0-)

    This is a good reminder for all of us.

  •  My mom was deaf (12+ / 0-)

    She could only read lips if someone spoke slowly and over annunciated. I always tend to slow my speech when speaking with someone who is hearing impaired and over annunciate. Did not know that I was being rude. Thought I was being accommodating...thanks for the enlightenment.

  •  I agree with most of it (20+ / 0-)

    except for the part about cochlear implants. As a CI wearer, I want to point out that it's not a cure, and it doesn't give you actual hearing. I hear okay, but it's not a cure, and I can turn off my hearing when I want to, which is cool.

  •  Thanks good info (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    ladybug53, blueyedace2, mrkvica, aitchdee

    I had a friend in college who was going deaf but she didn't tell anyone. We used to laugh and tease about her lack of balance - even though I didn't know at the time, 30 years later I still feel guilty about that.

  •  I'm probably going to hell... (6+ / 0-)

    because I was giggling my ass off until I got to the part where the diarist got their nose broken. After that sobered me up, the whole list was just appalling. It continually astonishes me how difficult some people find it to put themselves in another's shoes.

    I totally sympathize with the posters above who are fascinated watching sign language. Maybe I can help. I remember a Seinfeld episode in which Jerry gave some advice about looking at breasts in public. "It's like looking at the sun. You glance. Then you look away." I think that could apply here. Also, you could buy a sign language book and learn yourself a new skill.

    One good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain -Bob Marley

    by Darwinian Detritus on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 07:30:53 PM PST

  •  Apropos of another physical challenge.... (4+ / 0-)

    ...Don't talk louder to the visually impaired thinking they will understand you better.
    Thanks for the post AM.

  •  Thank you for an educational diary. (4+ / 0-)

    I feel for you for the rough stuff you have gone through.

    "Since when did obeying corporate power become patriotic." Going the Distance

    by Going the Distance on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 07:41:07 PM PST

  •  A sad story about my youth. (4+ / 0-)

    When I was 16, I worked in a nursing home as a nurse's aid.  I would forget the condition of my assigned patients as I took care of 16 people a shift -- feeding, showering and preparing them for bed.  I would talk to deaf people without facing them forgetting their condition.  I would walk up to double leg amputees and ask if I had found their slippers, holding a found pair in my hand.  It wasn't really complete carelessness.  It was more of a case of finding disabled people around me just like me.  But it was pretty thoughtless.

    "Since when did obeying corporate power become patriotic." Going the Distance

    by Going the Distance on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 07:48:01 PM PST

    •  That's pretty young... (4+ / 0-)

      for such emotionally draining work. CNA was the last job I was able to do before my physical condition knocked me out of the work pool. If this is the kind of thing you have regrets about, I can tell you right now: you done good. This old CNA gives you permission to stop feeling regret. You were there for folks who needed you.

      One good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain -Bob Marley

      by Darwinian Detritus on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 08:34:47 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Shit. I think I've done the rubbernecking thing (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Subterranean, blueyedace2, aitchdee

    before. Hopefully I was subtle? It's funny—since I haven't internalized signing as a form of speech, it just didn't occur to me to think of watching as eavesdropping …

    Actually, what I was doing was wondering which of the two people signing to each other (if not both) were deaf. The woman was sitting upright, very formal-seeming in her movements, while the man was slouching and had a water bottle in one hand (I got the impression he was mumbling?). Seemed like the guy was more likely to be a “native” signer.

    Code Monkey like freedom / Code Monkey like peace and justice too
    Code Monkey very nerdy man / With big warm fuzzy bleeding heart
    Code Monkey like you!

    Formerly known as Jyrinx.

    by Code Monkey on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 07:49:26 PM PST

  •  My stepdad has been gradually more and more (6+ / 0-)

    hearing impaired since he was a teenager. My mother and I became part of his life when I was 5, which was forty years ago. His lip-reading skills are excellent, but they depend upon decent lighting and position, and over time, I've learned to look at him face to face, and to avoid being in shadow, when we have a conversation.

    Here's 2 funny things: when I was small, he had the very old style hearing aid, the pager-size little box in his pocket with the wire running up to the earpiece.

    1) I remember needing to tell him a secret, along the lines of how many frogs I'd captured in a rainstorm were now living in the garage, and doing so by whispering into the pocket box, and

    2) When my mother was itching for an argument now and again, and he wasn't, he'd just reach up to his pocket and turn the volume off.

    Anyone who scoffs at happiness needs to take their soul back to the factory and demand a better one. -driftglass

    by postmodernista on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 07:56:36 PM PST

  •  I only have 50% of my hearing left, (4+ / 0-)

    so I use hearing aids and I agree with much of what you've said, but I do find slowing down does help me understand what someone is saying.

    One of the coolest things I ever seen was recently on the bus, when a woman was signing to someone over skype using her smart phone. That ROCKED !

    Sorry for the truly clueless people.

                      Take care,

    Torture is ALWAYS wrong, no matter who is inflicting it on whom.

    by Chacounne on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 08:09:23 PM PST

  •  I had my son in Little League for a couple (4+ / 0-)

    years.  He was the only deaf kid and the coaches simply couldn't handle it.  They stuck him in right field and played him only a couple innings at a time.  One game the coach started yelling at him in the dugout about something.  I was standing next to the dugout for sign language interpretation and I finally yelled at the guy to stop yelling, he couldn't hear no matter how loud you scream.  He just kept yelling louder.  That was my son's last game.  He ended up a very good athlete, probably better than most the kids on that team.  One of many stories I can tell about my son.  He can tell a helluva lot more.  Think of how rude people can be as it is, then think of being deaf and having to deal with the assholes.

    "It is easier to pass through the eye of a needle then it is to be an honest politician."

    by BigAlinWashSt on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 08:17:00 PM PST

  •  Is this a joke? (0+ / 0-)
    All of which, in case you’re wondering, have been said to me. And my friends. More than once.
    These are things only a sociopath would say or do. I'm not sure if this list is helpful at all, given you have to be extremely rude to do any of that.

    It's like advising people not to urinate in the middle of the street. Perhaps you're the one in need of an advice - Stop interacting with shitty people.

    •  For some reason, far more people than you'd (0+ / 0-)

      expect seem to experience a severe regression in social skills when dealing with anybody with a disability.

      Unfortunately when smart and educated people get crazy ideas they can come up with plausibly truthy arguments. -- Andrew F Cockburn

      by ebohlman on Tue Nov 19, 2013 at 02:31:10 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  I tried learning ASL at Gallaudet years ago. (4+ / 0-)

    Although I'm very good at spoken languages, I was not at all adept at a visual language like ASL.  But even though I didn't succeed in learning the language, those Saturday mornings at Gallaudet did give me a bit of a window into the deaf community.

    I was able to attend stage plays in ASL.  ("Shirley Valentine" was just as hilarious in sign as it was in spoken English.)  I saw examples of ASL poetry that were mind-blowing.  Mostly what I discovered, though, was a group of people who were fiercely proud of their language and culture.  They were also incredibly patient with my atrocious ASL skills, finger spelling words at what was for them a glacial pace so that I could understand.

    Ever since then, I've tried to be sensitive to the kinds of issues the diarist talks about.  While at Gallaudet, I learned that the appropriate was to get a deaf person's attention is to wave.  I try to remember to look the person in the eye the whole time we're speaking, so he or she can lipread easily.  Above all, I remind myself that the deaf person is doing me the favor of speaking my language, so the least I can do is try to be considerate.

    Thanks for the informative diary.

    "Ça c'est une chanson que j'aurais vraiment aimé ne pas avoir écrite." -- Barbara

    by FogCityJohn on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 09:00:16 PM PST

  •  mumbling into your hand (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Aurora Moon

    people who cover their mouth and mumble....

  •  I get it (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    blueyedace2, mrkvica, aitchdee, Ahianne

    As a hearing member of a family with partially deaf people (anywhere from 80-95%).

    Hear! Hear!

    bad pun

    I'm guilty.

    Carry on.

    p.s. Right On!

    If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never has and never will be. Thomas Jefferson

    by JDWolverton on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 09:05:26 PM PST

  •  Just so you know...and the rest of you, too (5+ / 0-)

    I'm old.

    My ears aren't what they once were. Neither are my eyes or a few other body parts.

    At least half of your list would apply equally to me.

    My pet peeve is trying to hear people in a noisy environment, asking them to repeat, and having them continue to speak softly and turn away while speaking. That just doesn't work for me.

    I'm a Vietnam Era vet. I'm also an Erma Bombeck Era vet. When cussing me out and calling me names please indicate which vet you would like to respond to your world changing thoughts.

    by Just Bob on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 09:07:44 PM PST

  •  I have been hearing impaired (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    blueyedace2, mrkvica, Ahianne, Aurora Moon

    since I was an infant, probably due to a case of the measles when I was 9 months old.  I was outfitted with hearing aids about six years ago.  That's 48 years of lip reading, being made fun of, and learning coping skills to deal with the hearing loss.  
    Getting the aids was a learning process.   My brain had to retrain itself to block out unnecessary noise (refrigerator humming, burners on the stove sizzling, traffic outside, clocks ticking, birds chirping, and the worst one - hearing people eat!)  All of these noises sounded the same to me, loud!, the first several weeks and it created one exhausted lady.  I remember sobbing one night to my husband that I couldn't take the noisy world and was ready to give up, it was so overwhelming.  
    The transition was rough but I'm glad I stuck with it and I'm very lucky that aids help me to hear better.  I have had two granddaughters born within the past three years and I was able to hear them coo and do all the little cute baby sounds.  I have three kids, I never knew what I was missing and it makes me a little sad.  
    I also want to point out that hearing aids do not improve hearing loss to 100% normalcy.  I still like to read lips to help me comprehend what is being said.  It's difficult for me to look into people's eyes for that reason as well, I have to focus on their mouth.
    The other thing I agree with Aurora Moon is that sometimes it is nice to be hearing impaired and some days I won't wear my aids if I'm just hanging around the house.  Our world is very noisy and being able to lessen that noise is a relief at times.

  •  hearing people seem assinine quite a bit (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    grover, mrkvica, Aurora Moon

    to the Deaf.

    One thing though. Some of these things are stupid, rude an infuriating. But  at least one is from well meaning ignorance at least some of the time from some people. It is good to know how it comes across to Deaf people anyway, but maybe, I humbly suggest, you could also try on the possibility that the way some hearing person is behaving is entirely well meaning especially because most hearing people do not  know many Deaf people. We need to know how to act. You admit yourself that hearing people don't know many Deaf. We don't know what we don't know so you could be informing us. Your resentment seems to come from thinking how it is for you is obvious to us or Should be. Not all of how it is for you is obvious to many, to varying degrees. I guess Deaf people need to educate us. I am sure, from your tone, that you talk about how annoying hearing people are. It is frustrating to hear your anger when I've NEVER heard/read a Deaf person describing how to be and what the consensus is that most Deaf people need. Yes, I have in fact asked some of the things on your list of the few Deaf people I have known but never have gotten clear about the few that aren't obviously rude. I've never heard anything from your community in terms of outreach in teaching Hearing people to mitigate their ignorance. Except this.

    The main thing I am talking about speaking more slowly. You say yourself that Some Deaf people can read lips at a  normal speed. This would imply some cannot. I have not met many Deaf people but I've known more than one who had trouble with lip reading and it was better for you if you slowed down your speech a bit. Now I'm from an area of the country where we speak fast and I myself speak fast so it may be part of it. But slowing down some anecdotally with this one person was helpful to her. We were in a book group together and it let her participate more and not feel excluded-everyone else was hearing. She talked privately to me saying she missed a lot and why and said slowing down some might help and not overlapping so much (we talk over eachother in my area of the country). She said Deaf people sometimes have a problem with this in lip reading.

    So, imagine you were like me someone who's few interactions with the Deaf made you think that speaking a bit slower was helpful. Others, like you, would judge me rude and condescending it would seem, when I am coming from a place of conscientiousness. We have no way of knowing who would like us to speak slower and who would find it irritating and condescending. Asking someone if they'd like me to speak slower somehow seems very rude AND condescending to me. Yet I want to be understood and have a full conversational partner so I want to do what I can to expedite that happening.

    It is good to know to not automatically speak slower (I'm not exaggerating stupidly, it's just a little slower) for Deaf people. If they need me to speak slower they will have to ask and I will bare the unease of getting a vibe that they may not quite be following me, as I used to with a girl in high school and this woman in book club.

    I've also known American born Deaf people who are not completely fluent in spoken English.  This was in high school though and they were from a Deaf school and taking classes with us.

    It is useful that you shatter some myths and misunderstandings. Also do note there is/was, at least in my case so I assume also in other people's, a basis for how I was acting in at least two of the "condescending" ways you discuss.

    Motives of people should matter when they do something annoying to you. Sure many people are uncaring, willfully ignorant and condescending but others mean well and are doing what they can.

  •  Going Deaf... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    is pretty scary, and my hearing is going for several reasons. I drink too much alcohol, listened to too many punk/speed metal bands, worked in very loud light industrial type jobs. What scares me most is the muffled overtones that block out my thoughts.

    No one knows what it's like, To be the bad man, To be the sad man, behind blue eyes....

    by blueyedace2 on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 09:42:16 PM PST

  •  I’m a TTY/TDD Relay Operator (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Ahianne, Aurora Moon

    And I tipped and rec’d your diary. (For people who don’t know, TTY is Teletypewriter, and TDD is telecommunications device for the deaf, both of which operate over telephone land lines). There’s also IP Relay, where deaf people make phone calls via the internet. There are also video relay services (where people do sign language through an operator over a service that’s like Skype), but we don’t do the video calls at my call center.

    Short explanation: The deaf person types on a keyboard, the operator reads those words to the person on the phone line, then the operator types everything he/she hears back to the deaf person.

    A few comments:

    The worst calls to make are 1) when you call an 800 number that sends you to an offshore call center in the Phillipines or India or wherever. Yes, those people outside the U.S. speak English, but they often don’t understand a relay call. You spend a lot of time getting them to talk slower, so you can type every word what they’re saying. 2) Chinese restaurant take-out orders are horrible. Sometimes the person on the phone doesn’t understand English very well and if the deaf person is a slow typist, the restaurant will just hang up on you. 3) And god help you if you get a tech support call (for a cell phone or computer or cable TV). “OK, now turn your computer off and back on. Tell me when the computer is on. Click on menu 1 then menu 2 then menu 3. Select this. What error message did you get?” The tech-support calls can take an hour or more.

    The best calls are the ones where the non-deaf person (maybe a mother or father or friend) knows how the Relay system works. They talk a little bit slower (most people talk at about 120+ words per minute, but the Relay operators are only certified at 60 wpm). So sometimes we have to slow down the hearing person, just so we can type everything.

    And I will say that deaf people are lawyers or medical doctors or other very smart people. And some deaf people aren’t.

    "Stupid just can't keep its mouth shut." -- SweetAuntFanny's grandmother.

    by Dbug on Mon Nov 18, 2013 at 11:17:06 PM PST

    •  I may have talked to you... (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      go ahead.'s not the best choice when your honey is speech impaired and you're spicing things up over the phone.

      "People are more than the worst things that they do,"--Chris Hayes

      by chicating on Tue Nov 19, 2013 at 07:08:42 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  We might have talked through Relay, but... (0+ / 0-)

        The privacy rules are very strict. I could be sent to jail if I give any information about a specific phone call. The general idea is that we're like a telephone wire -- we just relay every word that is spoken or typed to or from a deaf person. Then when the call is over, all records are erased (just like a phone call). So no records are kept (even if the call is related to sex or drugs or rock 'n' roll).

        Some calls are interesting, but most of them border on boring (like "what are you cooking for dinner?" or "are you coming to my house?" or "I washed the dishes and now I'm gonna do laundry.')

        Go ahead.

        "Stupid just can't keep its mouth shut." -- SweetAuntFanny's grandmother.

        by Dbug on Tue Nov 19, 2013 at 10:41:46 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  Asdf (0+ / 0-)

    Excellent diary!

    I think #8 may be explained  assuming that the majority of people may think the deaf cannot normally read lips and thus think interacting through the hearing companion will save time.

    Just a guess.

    The best way to tell a Democrat from a Republican is to present someone requiring food and shelter. The Democrat will want them housed and fed, even if they be faking need. The Republican will gladly see them starve until all doubt is removed.

    by GayIthacan on Tue Nov 19, 2013 at 06:02:27 AM PST

  •  Maybe not hearing road sounds (0+ / 0-)

    helps your focus. And we know you're not messing with the radio!

    "People are more than the worst things that they do,"--Chris Hayes

    by chicating on Tue Nov 19, 2013 at 07:00:55 AM PST

  •  Mostly drivers are just complacent (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Aurora Moon

    only a few are complicit in something. :)

    Deaf people use mirrors and their eyes, and is far more cautious than hearing people who grow complicit in their driving.
  •  One more simple addition: (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Aurora Moon

    When using an ASL translator, talk to and have eye contact with the person that you're talking to, i.e., you're talking to someone, not to the translator.  

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