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As Holy Shitters we strive to be soft and fluffy consumers which means we examine what we consume from a waste-end first analysis. We are aware of the super-consumer lifestyle that surrounds us and the system in place to promote and encourage consumption.  We recognize most people are sick from the disease of consumer diarrhea and willingly participate in the super-consuming lifestyle.

The promotional system to promote consumption is all around us and bombards us every day with countless advertisements from every conceivable medium like TV, radio, magazines, newspapers, internet and direct mail. The buy message begins from the moment we get up, take a shower and eat our breakfast to the time we lay our heads on our pillows to go to sleep.  It is inescapable and often times its advertisements claims are bizarre and obnoxious.

Take for example TV.  We are all familiar with the late night TV ads introducing us to a newly created dubiously useful product available for the first time for a limited time at a special price.  Call in the next 10 minutes and you'll receive two of  (some crap) plus the added bonus of receiving absolutely free (other crap).  This is a blatant exhibition of our promotional super-consuming lifestyle.  It is bizarre, annoying and obnoxious to many.  It also is apparently very successful and profitable because you see these ads all the time.

Another symbol of our super-consuming lifestyle is the SkyMall. You know what I'm talking about. You board your plane and get settled into your seat as best you can and reach for the "free copy" "flight time is the perfect time to shop" copy of your SkyMall magazine. You can also access for FREE using Gogo® in-flight Wi-Fi. They're adding hundreds of products each week!

Follow me below the fold for my in-flight holiday shopping experience.  

Since I just boarded my flight and am "comfortably" seated let's just check out a few of the items available for purchase.  Nothing better while seated in a flying gas tank consuming copious amounts of fuel than shopping for dubiously useful products that consume copious amounts of resources.

I think I'll start first looking for holiday gift ideas for my friends in Bangkok.  Let's see what I can find.

Floor to Ceiling Shoe Rack!
Wow!  This is a great idea:  the floor to ceiling shoe rack.  I wish I would have had one of these when living in Bangkok. How many times did I trip over all those shoes just inside the front door?  I'll get one for every one of my friends!

Holds up to 36 pairs yet only requires a 12-inch circle of floor space.  And for the extra short dudes on my list the pole adjusts to lower the top hanging pairs!

Might as well throw in the deodorizer.  Don't want that pole full of stinky shoes!

Holy Shit, this really is a great time to shop!  

Now that I've got my holiday gifts might as well shop for myself.  My yard could sure use some help and I'd really like to make it stand out from the crowd.  Something unique and different so people really take notice.  I think I've just found some solutions.

First, to scare the crap out of people as they walk by and  welcome visitors to our home I'll place © "Bigfoot the Garden Yete" statue at the very front of the front yard walkway!
Just in case they still haven't dropped a load in their britches,  I'll place ©"The Zombie of Montclaire Moors" statue  along the way.

I might end up using it only for Halloween but I'll buy it now and decide later.

Look at these.  I've been wanting to spruce up our water feature but which one would be better?  The © "Catch of the Day" Bear Statue

Hell, I can't decide now and the plane is starting its descent.  We're being asked to put our tray tables and seat backs up!  I'll just have to take this magazine with me and  finish shopping online at or call them at 1-800-SkyMall.  No reason to panic.  I need time to study all these choices!

But wait a minute.  I've still got time.  I know I want this.  Perfect way to say goodbye to family and friends.  Gotta have "The Peeing Boy of Brussels" Statue and Fountain.

Nothing says piss off better!

Shop until you drop!

Super-consumerism is a major problem in the United States and increasingly in the rest of the world.  The above post takes a humorous poke at this serious problem.  Consumption is inescapable for survival.   Capitalism is a great economic system capable of providing much in goods and services.  Our Church reminds us that capitalism is a great system to produce anything that people can be convinced to buy.  It is a terrible system to conserve.  We can no longer produce and consume all that we want that capitalism can provide.  It is not sustainable.  As followers of the Church of the Holy Shitters we strive to practice Soft and Fluffy Consumerism.  This means we look at things from a waste-end perspective before deciding to purchase any product.  What we buy and how we spend our money matters!  For more detailed discussion of our consumptive habits please read my other articles.


Consumer Diarrhea - America's Disease!

Commandment # 6 - Thou shalt not buy unnecessary shit.

Ass-backward Consumerism

The Church of the Holy Shitters will post articles on our holy S.H.I.T. day ( So Happy It's Thursday)  

Last week: 12/5/13 - Commandment #7 - A Closer Look - Thou shalt not giveth someone (unnecessary) shit.

Next week: 12/19/13 -  Super-consumer Crap Accumulators

Hoping to add some humor, provoke thought, spark debate,  deepen understanding, and shed some light on the fecal side.  

Remember:  "If we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit." ( Shitbit by Poop John the First of the Church of the Holy Shitters)
Church of the Holy Shitters
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