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You have to understand that for a 52 year old woman this is more than a shock. Especially when I am on disability for Major Depression and Anxiety.

Let me tell you where this started.  I picked up the Daily Mail for my morning reading, they normally have little life news and tell me what stories i am intereseted in going to the source for.  A little headline said "Susan Boyle comes out with Asperger's Diagnosis"

Now I "know" Susan.I have followed her from her first audition to tidbits about her life and life history. So i thought how proud I was of her, then listened to her quotes.  How she was relieved to  know what made her so stressed, why people treated her so differently as a child and she could sing but feel all alone in a gathering.  Follow me below the fold

These caused a bump in my thinking, it fit awfully well with my issues in childhood and adult life, i have seen her do inappropriate things or make statements but they just endeared her to me. I stubbornly said "I can't be" and then went and took a test. The Autism-Spectrum Quotient or AQ test.  What interested me and stunned me was my score. 35 when 16.5 was normal. 32 was the benchmark for aspies

Then I want to the Aspergers site and took their test and a couple of other sites always scoring inside of the aspergers where i would mild to moderate finish.

Now I have to be officially be diagnosed, but it is all but done, i know the things they use as personal anecdotes and behavior from childhood on and I could write a textbook for hi functioning aspies.

Now I have to grieve.  Its hard enough having two diseases (which are comorbid with Aspergers) to try and manage through life, but now I have a developmental delay that because it wasn't diagnosed tiook away many options for me as a child and adult.  I have to grieve the past I didn't have and I am hurting badly.

Just wanted to share, I feel struck by not so good lightning.

Originally posted to vc2 on Thu Dec 12, 2013 at 08:30 AM PST.

Also republished by KosAbility.

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