You have to understand that for a 52 year old woman this is more than a shock. Especially when I am on disability for Major Depression and Anxiety.
Let me tell you where this started. I picked up the Daily Mail for my morning reading, they normally have little life news and tell me what stories i am intereseted in going to the source for. A little headline said "Susan Boyle comes out with Asperger's Diagnosis"
Now I "know" Susan.I have followed her from her first audition to tidbits about her life and life history. So i thought how proud I was of her, then listened to her quotes. How she was relieved to know what made her so stressed, why people treated her so differently as a child and she could sing but feel all alone in a gathering. Follow me below the fold
These caused a bump in my thinking, it fit awfully well with my issues in childhood and adult life, i have seen her do inappropriate things or make statements but they just endeared her to me. I stubbornly said "I can't be" and then went and took a test. The Autism-Spectrum Quotient or AQ test. What interested me and stunned me was my score. 35 when 16.5 was normal. 32 was the benchmark for aspies
Then I want to the Aspergers site and took their test and a couple of other sites always scoring inside of the aspergers where i would mild to moderate finish.
Now I have to be officially be diagnosed, but it is all but done, i know the things they use as personal anecdotes and behavior from childhood on and I could write a textbook for hi functioning aspies.
Now I have to grieve. Its hard enough having two diseases (which are comorbid with Aspergers) to try and manage through life, but now I have a developmental delay that because it wasn't diagnosed tiook away many options for me as a child and adult. I have to grieve the past I didn't have and I am hurting badly.
Just wanted to share, I feel struck by not so good lightning.