Today I discovered one of my dogs has liver cancer, and I'll be losing him very shortly. Probably have to put him to sleep in the next couple days. I just lost his brother suddenly 3 weeks ago to a brain tumor. Not a good thing, to have all your animal babies get old at the same time, is it?
I planned and bred and wanted this dog. I was the first person to touch him as he was born, and his mother and I cleaned him up and welcomed him to this world, and helped him discover his place within it.
He's been an outstanding companion for 10 years. A gentle, brave, loving, fun personality. He (and his mother, brother and sister) has always traveled with me: to dog shows, hunting, travel, vacations, friends, work. As a veterinarian, he's always been able to spend many days with me at work, fortunately.
I'm writing this to mostly be a "venting" diary. I've always enjoyed observing the animal community here on Daily Kos, and the appreciation among members of how close our animal companions can be to us, and how they can allow us closely into their world, and the natural world.
It makes me feel a part of this earth, of nature, of the importance of living, to be close to our animal companions. We are the better off for having them allow us to share their lives. And there's plenty of folks here that share that feeling.
Sharing the painful loss of a pet with other animal lovers makes the pain less. It helps to share with understanding others.
It's been a very difficult past 5 years or so for me. I lost my job, but moved on to start my own small practice. I lost my house, but found a rental. I've lost my relatives, and have no real family left. I've lost several of my closest friends to early death, two more suddenly and tragically in the past year. Three years ago I lost my heart dog (my kids mother), then within a month have lost these two. Too much damn loss. No friends or family to spend Christmas with now. End of next week after Christmas I lose the rental house I'm in, haven't found something else yet. Christmas doesn't appear to be stopping here this year.
But .. I have one dog left, the sister to the above two dogs I've lost, and the puppy of my heart dog. She's loving, healthy and happy. She's been missing her lost sibling, and I know she'll miss the second when we lose him probably this weekend. But she makes my life better. She's a responsibility that gives more back to me than she'll ever be able to know. She doesn't have the heavy heart humans gain from loss after loss after loss; and dogs are not caught up in the human world problems of joblessness, homelessness, fear of the future.
Dogs, cats, horses, ferrets, parrots - our animal companions - live for the moment. We mourn their loss, and our hearts are heavy with the horror and human wears of the world upon us, but a dog lives for the joy of the moment, and allows us to share that, if we can only free ourselves to do so.
So I'll spend Christmas with my 10-year-old puppy girl, and we'll remember all those humans and animals and home/possessions we've lost - and if I can only gain part of my last dog girl's unending joy at daily life, Christmas and the future won't be as bad as I fear.
Hug your loved family and friends, human and animal, and appreciate what you have in life today, at this very moment. It's fragile, valuable and irreplaceable. It can all be gone before you know it.
Fri Dec 20, 2013 at 11:03 AM PT: Friday morning I held my friend in my arms as a human vet friend gave him the injection that released him from pain.
Thanks for the open sharing of stories in the comments - my heart goes out to all who have shared their stories of loss of loved ones, animal and human.