Welcome back to the Twelve Months of Crazy. As our last roundup was of February, that means March is up for consideration next. Surely, things will get better soon, right? Let's pretend we don't know how it all turned out. I think that will add to the suspense.
- March was brought in by Tucker Carlson's Daily Caller getting full-on scammed by a purported "prostitution" story against Democratic Sen. Bob Menendez. The Daily Caller obtained footage of two Domenican "prostitutes" claiming they had been hired by Menendez and, worse yet, stiffed on the bill; they were considerably less forthcoming about the extent to which the claims had been previously shopped around. Inspection by other news outlets quickly proved the story a hoax, with the women in question stating that they had been paid to make the claims; nonetheless, the Daily Caller stuck by the story long after others had debunked it. We'll chalk this one up as a learning experience, or would, had the outlet in question shown any credible effort at learning something.
- Fresh off efforts to block conservative Republican Chuck Hagel from being confirmed as secretary of defense, Senate Republicans turned to the next target, vowing that nominee for CIA chief John Brennan's confirmation would be held up until Sens. Lindsey Graham, John McCain and others had gotten answers about something something Benghazi.
- Sen. Rand Paul staged a 13 hour not-a-filibuster of Brennan to protest the potential use of drones against Americans on American soil, or something. It was not quite clear, since after considerable self-promotion and fundraising on the effort and cheering conservative crowds, Paul stated that he really didn't have a problem with drone use against Americans on American soil after all. By the time the month was ending, he had already moved on to threatening to filibuster any and all gun legislation.
- Other Republicans who vowed to block any post-Sandy-Hook gun reforms: Sens. Marco Rubio, Jim Inhofe, Ted Cruz, and Mike Lee. Among others.
- Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer said that releasing undocumented immigrants as a result of the Republican-demanded "sequester" was intended to be White House "payback" against Arizona. This was part of broader alarm from Republicans that every single effect of the sequester, from airport closures to military cuts, was happening not because cutting the budget by $85 billion overnight required cutting government services but was instead a plot to make them look bad. It's all right, though, because we got the air traffic controllers back, thus solving everything.
- Dissatisfied with sociopathic Rep. Steve King's unaccountably low profile—and Steve King has been nothing if not discreet, after all—Iowa Republicans cleared the field for the anti-immigration manchild to run for senate. I haven't checked in on the state of King's campaign lately, but what could possibly go wrong?
- Noted conservative news fabricator James O'Keefe settled a lawsuit filed against him by a former ACORN employee for $100,000. Juan Carlos Vera was one of the ACORN employees filmed by O'Keefe in his "sting" of the group; O'Keefe edited tape of the interview to make Vera appear to be cooperating with a child prostitution ring supposedly led by O'Keefe's accomplices, when in fact Vera had not only not cooperated, but had contacted police to report the incident immediately after the pair had left the ACORN offices. The settlement continued to make little difference to conservative lawmakers vilifying the group for the now-known fake claims, as anti-ACORN language continues to pepper new legislation, thus proving the very premise of the Fox News network: To an idiot, a faked scandal is as good as a real one.
- Remember when Sen. Paul Ryan had a Medicare plan? It didn't go over well. It was still better than Michele Bachman's March.
- I went to CPAC. Oh my God, you all still owe me for that one.