Regulations are killing American business. Just ask the US Chamber of Commerce or pick a Republican political figure at random and ask him or her which federal regulatory agencies they would eliminate (so long as you don't choose isn't Rick Perry I think you'll do just fine).
Environmental regulations in particular seem to really irk conservatives, especially business conservatives. You know, good, hard working, upstanding, job creating billionaires like these two brothers:
Brothers who, try as they might, are constantly being dogged by Federal Regulators that limit - on occasion - their freedom to make a gazillion bucks from their numerous business enterprises in the fossil fuel extraction and refinement line of work. Sadly, federal interference has limited them to a net worth of only $36 BILLION per brother. That's $72 Billion for those of you who graduated from public schools - I'm told by reliable sources at Fox News public education ain't teaching right are kids and in particular the maths. Prime example? Karl Rove who attended a public high school and look how that turned out.
On the other hand, some nanny state proponents do have a minor point. It does appear that once in a great while honorable corporate citizens such as, oh BP, Exxon, the International Coal Group, and most recently the aptly named Freedom Industries, have done less than their best, shall we say, at preventing "troublesome environments incidents" such as contaminating the water that the good people of Charleston, WV use to drink, bathe themselves and wash the family dog.
Officials are working with the company that makes the chemical to determine how much can be in the water without it posing harm to residents, said West Virginia American Water president Jeff McIntyre.
"We don't know that the water's not safe. But I can't say that it is safe," McIntyre said Friday. For now, there is no way to treat the tainted water aside from flushing the system until it's in low-enough concentrations to be safe, a process that could take days.
To be fair, it may be perfectly safe, despite the fact that a few people living in proximity to the spill have felt a little under the weather since this unfortunate event occurred.
Hundreds of people in West Virginia have suffered nausea, vomiting and other symptoms of chemical exposure since a spill contaminated the public water supply across nine counties.
The chemical spill was the largest single event the West Virginia poison centre has encountered in 20 years.
By 4pm ET on Friday, some 671 residents had called in to the poison centre with concerns on a wide range of symptoms from chemical exposure, the centre's director, Elizabeth Scharman, told The Guardian. [...]
“The number continues to change every minute,” Scharman said.
Now I know that regulations are evil, create unemployment, empower sinister bureaucrats to form little fiefdoms, and generally make life miserable for every red-blooded American to enjoy the fruits of their God-given rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, especially Americans such as the two outstanding gentlemen pictured above, David and Bill Koch (I know that they are quite humble and would prefer I not name them, but in all honesty their efforts defending our liberties should be more widely known). And heaven knows we need to cut our runaway federal deficit, and eliminating the EPA and other regulatory agencies would go a long way to putting our nation's finances back on a sound footing, since clearing raising taxes on the wealthy and major corporations is a "non-starter" in our present political climate.
Yet the dilemma remains. How can ordinary people protect themselves from the rare but sometimes catastrophic incidents that lead to death, disease and, worst of all, the devaluation of the property values of their homes? Well, fortunately, a law backed by all right thinking people in states such as - oh Florida, for example - provides the perfect solution. I am, of course, speaking about the Stand Your Ground Laws which permit individuals in reasonable fear for their lives to use deadly force wherever they may be. With a few minor tweaks I'm certain it can do a very effective job of keeping corporations that use or deal in deadly toxic chemicals on their toes so to speak.
Here's my proposal. Simply extend the stand your ground law nationwide to allow any person affected in any way (even if they suffer merely "emotional distress") by an environmental disaster (be it a chemical spill, a nuclear plant meltdown, a gas leak, contamination of groundwater or the production of earthquakes from hydrofracking operations, etc.) to consider that a reasonable threat to their life, property and/or freedom and thus be allowed to use their second amendment rights to eliminate the danger they perceive.
Of course, we can't have people going off half-cocked and shooting up entire factories or offices, so I suggest this limitation on their right; that they may exercise it only against the board of directors, CEOs and other senior managers of the companies which created the problem, whether it is an accidental release of chemicals, toxins or say the untimely explosion of dynamite or other such deadly devices, for example.
Of course, some here might argue that this proposal is a bit drastic, what with the potential for collateral damage to innocent people. In response to that sentiment, let me provide you with the remarks of well known peace officer and Sheriff of Big Muddy, Wyoming, Little Bill Daggett: "Innocent? Innocent of what?" Sure, a few minor flunkeys might get caught up in the cross-fire, but isn't that a small price to pay to ensure that corporations act as good citizens and their top executives do all in their power to ensure that their businesses are operated in a safe manner but without government interference?
However, if the use of firearms against CEO's, Senior Executives and Directors whose companies have been "bad neighbors" offends your delicate sensibilities, their is always the tried and true American solution of lynch mobs. A noose is as good as a ... well you get my drift.
Let's be honest. Government, though it is a dandy institution to employ armed forces to blow up stuff overseas, kill terrorists at wedding parties, and provide gainful employment for morons and sociopaths (cf. Michele Bachmann and Louie Gohmert), is not always an effective solution to many of our problems. The employment of rugged American individualism in the manner I propose would be, in my opinion, a far more effective check on corporate negligence and malfeasance than any number of regulators running around without adequate funding to do their job anyway.
After all, CEO's rarely lose their jobs or their compensation packages when things go amiss. Even shareholders of major corporations are at a loss to eliminate a bad management team once it is firmly ensconced. My guess is that quite a few of them would be more than happy to see this regime for quicker, more rapid retirement of ineffective managers put into place. No need to fill out those silly proxy notices or attend boring shareholder meetings where the result of the elections are already known. And no doubt, this would cut down on many instances of shareholder litigation for destroying shareholder value.
Heck, I bet the results of my little proposal - which, in its original formulation, has already been so effective in limiting murder charges brought in states which have adopted it - will be so amazing that there would be a groundswell of support to expand this measure to other sectors of our economy that currently bear the burden of the heavy hand of governmental regulation, such as the financial industry. God knows the SEC, Federal Reserve and the Justice Department haven't done all that much to rein in the gamblers on Wall Street. A few "Rambos" shooting up the NYSE on the other hand ...
Just food for thought, friends.