Boo hoo hoo. I was just making a cup of tea to take to work when I heard Joe bring on Michelle Caruso-Cabrera from CNBC to mourn over JP Morgan and Wells Fargo "taking a hit in profitabilites." Apparently these big banks are so put upon by the evil regulators, who continuously force them to cough up money for no apparent reason, that while their revenue is up, their poor shareholders aren't getting as much as they should in profits.
According to Michelle, 'they've been pursued relentlessly by regulators from every quadrant of the planet and the universe."
Joe says these fines just "keep coming and keep coming. When are they going to stop?!?!"
As I listened, tears just ran down my cheeks for these poor banks. It choked me up that the wicked regulators just won't let them alone. They keep imposing these unreasonable fines!
Obviously we should cut out food stamps out entirely and get rid of unemployment to all of those greedy people who would rather sit on their asses and collect the overly-generous benefits than work. We should fire all of these evil regulators who make it their life's work to persecute these poor banks and then we can cut taxes to these over-taxed, persecuted businesses so they can make more profits for their poor shareholders.
Now I realize that for those of us who still have them, our 401ks probably own some of these bank stocks, but you know at this rate if we make it to retirement with a job and our 401ks in tact we'll be pretty damned lucky.
Michelle said that JP Morgan has paid "20 billion dollars in fines so far this year. That's a quarters' worth of revenue that's been taken away from shareholders."
Excuse me while I go and throw up. I shouldn't have turned on the TV while getting ready to leave for work. Joe almost always finds a way to make ke sick to my stomach.