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And friends... I gotta tell you, I am amazed that nobody in the Right Wing Media is going to talk about the fact that the Republicans are promoting Child Molestation.
True Fact. You can go on and on about how they claim to be about cost-cutting, which on the surface looks good, but really, it's all about their right to molest little kids.
(More of the Left Wing Limbaugh on the flip)
Now I know what you're thinking. Rush! You're exaggerating. Rush! You're being silly. (Redneck Voice) Rush, I just know that ain't true, because it's legal where I am...
Ok, ok, I hear you out there. I hear your cries for truth. It can't be that Republicans are so vile that they are out there promoting something so awful. But I tell you... (Lowers Voice) They are.
Now I want to read you a story here. It says... this is from Fox News by the way, so the Republicans can't claim I'm not using their sources... It says that in North Carolina, a child was sexually abused, after being taken from their parents for the crime of... get this... being POOR. Yup, that's right. This kid, growing up in a poor household, and the get tough on CRIME Republicans demand not only that the kid be taken from their parents, but placed into a home where the family has no background check, no nothing.
Just their assurance, that everything will be ok. See, this is what I'm talking about folks. Insane, out of control police, claiming to be HELPING us, when really they're just grabbing kids and putting em in homes of Republicans. Republicans who, through their MINDLESS brainwashing, assume that anything they do is just fine, as long as it "Is in accordance with God's Plan."
Now, I know God. You folks know I talk to the man upstairs on a regular basis, and anybody who claims that molesting little kids is according to his plan, well, they're just sick. Sick Republicans who thrive on power, and the ability to do whatever they want. And it doesn't matter WHO or what it is. These are the folks who sleep with gay men and then ban gay marriage so that their conquests can't tie them down. These are the people who get women pregnant, and then ban abortion so that they can't personally be shamed!
And really, it IS all about them. They may claim that it's about saving the unborn, but really, we know what the Rethugs who ban abortion are REALLY all about. That's right. They want their harem.
That's what it really is. They want to live like they THINK the kings of Israel did years ago. Every Republican wants a harem of wives and concubines, and they figure the best way to do it is to ensure that if their sacred seed makes it into a woman, she should have no protection against them. Why do you think they want to ban birth control? Why do you think they want to throw up every roadblock they can to sexual freedom? I'll tell you why. Because every woman who realizes that she can have an orgasm is another woman that Republicans can't get into bed a second time, that's why.
I see that we're coming up on a break... but stick with us. I'll take your calls and we can get down to the REAL nitty gritty about why these Rethugs want your underage daughter pregnant and married to a fifty year old.
(Edit: Just realized this needs a classic Rock Style tune for the outro. But I don't like Rush, so...)