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Moments after the victorious Seattle Seahawks left the field for the sidelines, a camera was posted in the face of Quarterback, Russell Wilson. “Russell Wilson, you just won the Super Bowl. Are you going to Disney World?”

“Florida? Where my black ass will get thrown in jail for possession? F@#& That! I’m heading home to Seattle for ‘The Spliff’ ” He replied, in reference to the sentencing disparities for minorities possessing and utilizing cannabis and a planned protest of NFL Cannabis Policy.

Many will remember Super Bowl 48 as “The Chronic Bowl,” “The Weed Bowl,” “The Smoke-a-Bowl,” and “Super Bowl 420,” as it featured two teams, the Denver Broncos, and the Seattle Seahawks, representing the States of Colorado and Washington, respectively, that have legalized recreational usage of cannabis.

Much had been made of the unique bets placed by Denver Mayor Michael Hancock and Seattle Mayor Ed Murray. Mayor Hancock anted an ounce of the Cannabis strain, Denver Diesel, while Mayor Murray countered with an ounce of the classic strain, Northern Lights, both typical strains of their regions.  In addition, both Mayors put up $1000 in free pizza delivery for “munchies satiation” for fans of the winning city.

But the real news centered around the Seahawks themselves upon returning to Seattle.

“Many members of both the Broncos and our team agreed that the NFL Policy toward cannabis is outdated,” Wilson told reporters as almost the entire team gathered behind him. “Half of the players in the NFL smoke cannabis as a way of easing the physical pain we endure in this modern gladiator sport. Broken bones, pulled muscles, concussions, you name it. Cannabis: legal to obtain in the state, but illegal to consume in the NFL. What’s wrong with this picture?”

Fans of the game are all-too-familiar with the sport’s toll on players’ bodies. Chronic pain, and high-profile suicides have become more documented in recent years.

“Monte Ball and I wanted to do something like this if we had won the Rose Bowl in 2011, but neither of us wanted to risk our pro-careers at the time,” Wilson continued, referring to his former University of Wisconsin teammate and current Denver Broncos Running Back. The Badgers lost that game to the University of Oregon. “We made a promise that we would lead our team in this protest, depending upon which team won.”

A majority of player on both teams agreed that the winning team would stage an open protest of NFL substance policy, and by proxy, the drug laws of the nation. The Seahawks seemed happy to be the ones to represent the players.

“Why is a law still a law if half the people are secretly breaking it?” Running back Marshawn Lynch asked as each player on the stage hoisted cannabis-laced joints to their mouths before lighting them.

“What, are they planning suspend our whole team, the Super Bowl Champs, like they did Brandon and Walter?”  A Defiant Wide Receiver Golden Tate added, in reference to Seahawk Cornerbacks Brandon Browner and Walter Thurman, both serving suspensions for violating the NFL’s marijuana policy. The two players were ineligible for last night’s Super Bowl.

“We’re gonna light up, ol’ school style. This one’s for all of my Stanford Homies, I mean, except for Coach Harbaugh!” Cornerback, Richard Sherman announced, referring to his college playing days, and former Stanford head coach and current San Francisco 49er’s Head Coach, Jim Harbaugh.

In other related news, an unscientific poll of first responders reported that last night’s game was one of the quietest recent Super Bowl history.

“Very few calls. I got to watch the entire game for the first time in my 16-years on the job.” Val Higgins of Seattle stated.

A counterpart of his in Denver, Pauline Sanderson concurred. “It was very quiet. We think people stayed in home, got stoned, and kept the team’s loss in perspective instead of going into a drunken rage (from consuming too much alcohol).”

Police in both cities were prepared for the worst, but no signs of looting, vandalism or rioting ever manifested. “It was a totally mellow night.” Officer Buzz Grandy of Seattle PD told us.

At the press conference, many Seahawks' players spoke about their actions as one of solidarity with all the players in the league. The NFL has a notoriously strict policy on player usage of cannabis, whether the act takes place in one of the two states of legal usage or one of the many states where medicinal usage is permitted or not.

“They gonna force us to watch ‘Reefer Madness?” Sherman said, his dark dread locks swaying as he laughed. “I’ll bring a bunch of edibles for us all if they do, and we’ll giggle our way through it,” he added while blowing a trail of donut-hole rings of smoke in the air.  

“Go ‘Hawks,” Wilson aspirated through a plume of dark gray smoke, leaving a sweet, pungent haze in the air.

The NFL Commissioner’s Office has yet to respond to the protest.

OK, end of snark.
In all sincerity, no offense intended toward people who are the victims of crime or harm on Super Bowl Sunday, nor was this post intended to glorify the usage of recreational cannabis. And of course, no offense to the Denver Broncos, whom I would be just as happy to see win, “Super Bowl 420.”

That said, may the two teams participating and setting up this event serve as a positive omen toward other states legalizing recreational Cannabis. 2014 is time!


In Super Bowl 48/ 420, I'm rooting for:

14%11 votes
41%32 votes
7%6 votes
37%29 votes

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