I know, I know -- there is absolutely NO WAY Harry Potter and Governor Chris Christie belong in the same diary. But they do. No, honest. Seriously.
I was watching The Wags on MSNBC today. (I love me my Rachel Maddow, I do, but sometimes her obsessively ornate word buffets can make me a little drowsy where Alex Wagner's let's get to the point before Happy Hour is over stylings keep me rather engaged on even the most depressing of subjects.)
Anyhorse, The Wags opened her new timeslot today with talk of the storm over Christie's political future as well as the literal storm over his 2nd Inauguration.
The entire segment is here, but I want you to notice something at the 1:24 mark of this story. If you're too busy to watch, some visual aids.
Around the 1:23 mark of this story, Christie is being sworn in with family on a stage.
I know that at a casual glance everything seems normal. But it isn't. Not in the least.
Christie has two career ending accusations of office corruption in his lap, and absolutely nothing will seem normal for Christie unless he does something bold and fast to save himself and his imperiled Presidential aspirations.
Apparently he has. At the 1:24 mark -- really a millisecond hidden somewhere between 1:23 and 1:24 -- you can see in one frame this macabre subliminal video distortion --
Disturbing, right? Some kind of dark mystical wizardy going on in this frame, no doubt. Thanks to some video restoration software I have access to I've been able to repair and recover the original image --
Is it just me? Isn't that Harry Potter standing next to the judge? With Hermione by his side. Harry looking nervous as hell -- as if he's up to something crafty?
You don't believe me?!? Look at what he's doing! Look at where Harry's left hand is --
That's THE BOOK OF SPELLS, friends. Harry is attempting the Cave Inimicum, a spell from that book that's used 'to strengthen an enclosure from enemies'.
Governor Christie's castle walls are dropping at every turn. He desperately needed a wizard's help and so why not Harry Potter -- who's not so busy these days as we awaits J.K. Rowlings to write yet another 500 pages of garbage that can be split into 2 lucrative features for the P.T. Barnium masses.
Poor Christie clearly needs a strengthened enclosure -- to protect himself from none other than The Wags at the incredibly partisan and therefore nonfactual MSNBC.
Desperate times call for desperate spells measures.
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FULL DISCLOSURE: No disrespect to Christie's son. I just felt the resemblance was rather striking. He's otherwise a handsome lad. I'm just a silly person and filmmaker type.