Last night, Stephen Colbert looked at what the courts killing off net neutrality could mean with Tim Wu.
Nation, I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex? (audience laughter) That's why I was shocked last week when I heard this gossip about the Internet from its frenemy, television.
1/15/2014:
CHARLIE ROSE: The way we use the Internet could change after a federal appeals court struck down net neutrality rules.
JUDY WOODRUFF: The fallout over a big decision that may change how the web works, and the future of so-called net neutrality.
SHEPARD SMITH: We could be witnessing the end of the Internet as we know it.
Nation, I hope you know what this means, because I do not. (audience laughter) Maybe the TV knows.
HARI SREENIVASAN, PBS (1/15/2014): Net neutrality is the idea that broadband Internet service providers — Comcast, Time Warner Cable, Verizon, and others — should treat everything that flows across the Internet equally.
Thanks, TV. You see, under net neutrality, every site on the Internet has to be equally accessible to the user, whether it be a huge behemoth like Google, or some obscure little mom & pop site like Bing. (audience laughter)
But folks, this recent court ruling ends all of that.
KRISTIE LU STOUT, CNN (1/16/2014): Net neutrality advocates say this ruling could also allow Internet service providers to slow everything, and then charge you extra to allow faster access to a particular site, like Amazon.
SHEPARD SMITH (1/15/2014): You might have to pay more for specific websites. ... There are a million different ways that you might have to pay.
Folks, I will not stand for my content being held hostage for cash. Wouldn't... (video feed buffering) must rise as one against the cable companies and....
(audience cheering and applause)
Folks, I've re-thought my position on net neutrality. What I meant to say was, like all Americans, I love my cable company. (audience laughter) They add so much to my life. For instance, all the time I get to spend with my family during the three minutes it takes for my DVR to process a channel change.
And it'll be better, think about it. Verizon says this ruling allows "broadband providers to offer new and innovative services to their customers", while allowing "more room for innovation", and keeping "the Internet a hub of innovation".
See? Net neutrality's only been dead a week, and already three innovative uses of the word "innovation"! It used to have to mean something. (audience laughter and applause)
Folks, I am so inspired by this new paradigm of holding content hostage, that I've implemented a few innovations of my own here at the Report. Such as my new 2-finity phone service, where my employees continue to enjoy unfettered access to the first two digits of any number they dial. Are you on fire? Then just dial 9-1. Need another 1? Reasonable charges apply.
Video below the fold.
Stephen started his show covering the
riots in Ukraine.
Stephen then noticed that a Chinese TV show has completely
ripped off his show.
Meanwhile, Jon looked at the conferences happening in Switzerland right now, from the
peace summit regarding Syria to
Davos, where the wealthy are gathered, and
how the media is covering Davos.
Jon then looked at some news involving
Google, from protesters to the new Google Glass, and what it can do... for sex.
Stephen talked with neuroscientist
Patricia Churchland, and Jon talked with journalist
Anjan Sundaram.