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Sexual assault is an affront to our basic decency and humanity. And it’s about all of us – the safety of those we love most: our moms, our wives, our daughters and our sons.
In this morning's weekly address, Obama discussed the formation of a task force to combat sexual assault at college, emphasizing how the issue is not just one concerning individuals, but our communities as a whole.
Because when a child starts to question their self-worth after being abused, and maybe starts withdrawing… or a young woman drops out of school after being attacked… or a mother struggles to hold down a job and support her kids after an assault… it’s not just these individuals and their families who suffer. Our communities – our whole country – is held back.
In the past few years, he said, efforts have been made to stop the crimes, but this new panel will focus on the one in five women reportedly assaulted on college campuses. Prevention and response by schools will be of primary importance. But college is not the only setting where more attention will be paid to sexual crimes: the criminal justice system and the military will also be examined, and support systems for women everywhere who have been victims of sexual assault will be shored up.

But, he told listeners, this is not solely the job of government officials:

Some of this is a job for government. But really, it’s up to all of us. We’ve got to teach young people – men and women – to be brave enough to stand up and help put an end to these crimes. We’ve especially got to teach young men to show women the respect they deserve. I want every young man in America to know that real men don’t hurt women. And those of us who are fathers have a special obligation to make sure every young man out there understands that being a man means recognizing sexual violence and being outraged by it, and doing their part to stop it.
He closed with an assurance to women that "we've got your back," and that he will continue "to keep pushing for others to step up – across my administration, in Congress, in state capitals, college campuses and military bases all across our country."

To read the transcript in full, check below the fold or visit the White House website.

Remarks of President Barack Obama
Weekly Address
The White House
January 25, 2014

Hi, everybody. This week, I called members of my Cabinet to the White House to deal with a challenge that affects so many families and communities – the crime, the outrage, of sexual violence.

Sexual assault is an affront to our basic decency and humanity. And it’s about all of us – the safety of those we love most: our moms, our wives, our daughters and our sons.

Because when a child starts to question their self-worth after being abused, and maybe starts withdrawing… or a young woman drops out of school after being attacked… or a mother struggles to hold down a job and support her kids after an assault… it’s not just these individuals and their families who suffer. Our communities – our whole country – is held back.

Over the past five years, we’ve stepped up our efforts stop these crimes. And this week, we took another important step to protect young women at college. An estimated 1 in 5 women is sexually assaulted at college – and that’s totally unacceptable. So I’ve created the White House Task Force to Protect Students from Sexual Assault. We’re going to help schools do a better job of preventing and responding to sexual assault on their campuses. Because college should be a place where our young people feel secure and confident, so they can go as far as their talents will take them.

And we’re going to keep working to stop sexual assaults wherever they occur. We’ll keep strengthening our criminal justice system, so police and prosecutors have the tools and training to prevent these crimes and bring perpetrators to justice. We’ll keep reaching out to survivors, to make sure they’re getting all the support they need to heal. We’re going to keep combating sexual assault in our armed forces, because when a member of our military is attacked by the very people he or she trusts and serves with, that’s an injustice that no one who volunteers to protect our nation should ever endure.

Some of this is a job for government. But really, it’s up to all of us. We’ve got to teach young people – men and women – to be brave enough to stand up and help put an end to these crimes. We’ve especially got to teach young men to show women the respect they deserve. I want every young man in America to know that real men don’t hurt women. And those of us who are fathers have a special obligation to make sure every young man out there understands that being a man means recognizing sexual violence and being outraged by it, and doing their part to stop it.

Perhaps most important, we need to keep saying to anyone out there who has ever been assaulted:  you are not alone. We have your back. I’ve got your back.

I’m going to keep pushing for others to step up – across my administration, in Congress, in state capitals, college campuses and military bases all across our country. This is a priority for me, not only as President and Commander-in-Chief, but as a husband and a father of two extraordinary girls. And I hope it’s a priority for you. Because here in the United States of America, every man and woman, every girl and boy, has the right to be safe and protected and to pursue their own piece of the American dream.

Let’s all do our part to make it happen.  Thanks, and have a great weekend.

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Comment Preferences

  •  A Culture of Violence (17+ / 0-)

    And of entitlement. And revenge. And hate.

    Add to this mental illness. Add to these things a system that glosses over these crimes because it is not convenient to expose or prosecute them.

    It all starts on a low level and builds from there. Every day I see sexual harassment rampant in public and in the workplace. Women are "darling" and immediately seen as an opportunity for sex.

    I'm just sick of it.

    Remember, the road to victory is paved with big words and professorial arrogance. Passion need not apply.

    by The Lone Apple on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 07:06:47 AM PST

    •  fundemental question (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Reepicheep, The Lone Apple

      Is still if a person does not say no, or is in a state where they cannot say no, is it rape.  If a person drugs themselves into a state where they are not in control of their actions, can there be a rape or a rapist.  If hormones are out of control, can we hold them responsible for the rape.

      The basic legal theory, given the lenient sentences, is that a guy can't be completely held responsible if a girl get drunk and he takes advantage of the situation.  After all, she went to the party voluntarily, drugged herself willingly, so obviously she wanted to have sex with every guy at the party, and anyone else who shows up.Especially football players. Because there is no women who does not spend her days and night dreaming of having sex with an entire football team.

      We can take about what real men do, and that is all well and good, but we have to back that up with consequences.  There was a time when we said that murder is bad, but there were few consequences if a white man murdered and tortured a boy, so there was little for those white men to stop.

      The question is whether females exist to service men and have children, or if they have some value beyond that.

      •  Nobody Exists To Service Anyone (5+ / 0-)

        Bottom line. I don't see this as a question other than that of the basic freedom of human beings to determine their own lives in any way they see fit.

        As to your initial question, if someone is not in a state where they can make a rational or competent decision, they cannot give any sort of reasonable consent. This is my belief. If I'm drunk and commit a crime, my not being in my right mind doesn't excuse me. If I know a person is incapacitated by alcohol or drugs and I go ahead and use them for my own sexual purposes, then, yes, I'm guilty of rape.

        Remember, the road to victory is paved with big words and professorial arrogance. Passion need not apply.

        by The Lone Apple on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 08:38:06 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

      •  Either be responsible or be imprisoned - easy choi (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Themistoclea

        ce.

        If hormones are out of control, can we hold them responsible for the rape.
        Of course we can. If somebody can not control their urges, they do not have the basic requirements for running around free. Either they are responsible and get imprisoned for breaking the law - or they are not responsible and belong in an institution. Easy choice.

        He who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.

        by Sophie Amrain on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 10:56:03 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  Cue Right Wing Outraged statements in 5...4...3... (19+ / 0-)

    Since the RW is required to be outraged at every statement Obama makes, no matter how helpful, obvious, or innocuous, it will be interesting to see how exactly they spin this as an insult to conservative culture.

    "Look...it's moving! It's alive..it's alive! It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!! My God, my God....now I know what it feels like to BE God!!!" - Republican Party and the Koch brothers upon creation of the Tea Party

    by Fordmandalay on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 07:08:08 AM PST

    •  I had the same thought (8+ / 0-)

      I mean, these are people who compare Obama with Hitler for making sure people have health care.  they're required to be outraged by everything he says or does.

      They'll probably trot out a female Republican to complain that Obama didn't mention the War on Men.  Or something.

      I shall die, but that is all that I shall do for Death; I am not on his payroll. - Edna St. Vincent Millay

      by Tara the Antisocial Social Worker on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 07:18:46 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  They're literally "The Party That Cried Wolf" now (4+ / 0-)

        This is what happens when they show no distinction between actual problems, and meaningless everyday things - and scream just as angrily about both. Literally nobody outside the insane base pays the least bit of attention to their complaints anymore (see; BENGHAZZEEEEE!!, the IRS and the public's ignoring of all the other made up 'scandals'), so that even if something important actually happens no-one will give it credence anymore.  

        "Look...it's moving! It's alive..it's alive! It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!! My God, my God....now I know what it feels like to BE God!!!" - Republican Party and the Koch brothers upon creation of the Tea Party

        by Fordmandalay on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 07:29:10 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

    •  Hard to imagine. There is little in this world (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Joy of Fishes

      more powerful than a father's instinct to protect his children.  I've only got girls, so I can't be sure, but I'll bet that is especially true in the case of daughters.  I know firsthand that it applies to mothers as well.

      I cannot imagine any right-wing objection that would resonate with the Republican base.

      LG: You know what? You got spunk. MR: Well, Yes... LG: I hate spunk!

      by dinotrac on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 07:35:01 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Obama Derangement Syndrome. They'll find (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Old Sailor, Joy of Fishes

        Something, count on it.

        "Look...it's moving! It's alive..it's alive! It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!! My God, my God....now I know what it feels like to BE God!!!" - Republican Party and the Koch brothers upon creation of the Tea Party

        by Fordmandalay on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 07:59:12 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

      •  You don't have to imagine- (5+ / 0-)

        you can just check out the comments in the Washington Times:

        http://www.washingtontimes.com/...

        Not the federal government's business, guess this means Obama wants everyone to have a handgun, blah blah blah Benghazi.

        •  I just checked the article and noticed that there (0+ / 0-)

          aren't very many comments. Most were anti-Obama, but not all.  Some were predictable Libertarian knee-jerks of "local concern, not federal".

          That tells me that, overall, this is not something that many people at all will take issue with. At best, the equivalent of a procedural objection (Why federal, why the President when there is so  much who needs his attention?) as opposed to substantive, and that makes sense.  In the end, fathers love their daughters, husbands love their wives, brothers love their sisters, etc.

          LG: You know what? You got spunk. MR: Well, Yes... LG: I hate spunk!

          by dinotrac on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 12:36:39 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

      •  Basic misapprehension.... (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Old Sailor, Fordmandalay

        ....of RW thought processes.

        They begin their arguments where others end them, with the conclusion. In this case, "Obama is evil."

        The "reasoning" that leads up to this point is almost irrelevant. Here they'll probably accuse him of victimizing men and trying to destroy the traditional family. Or something. It won't be consistent or sensible. It doesn't need to be. It's only decoration.

        "They bash your face in, and say you were always ugly." (Solzhenitsyn, Gulag Archipelago volume 3)

        by sagesource on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 08:35:16 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Likely (0+ / 0-)

          they'll trot out the feminization schtick they've been on this month.

          •  A few, perhaps, but how much traction will they (0+ / 0-)

            get beyond the true lunatic fringe?

            Men have wives, sisters, daughters, etc.
            We want them to be safe.

            LG: You know what? You got spunk. MR: Well, Yes... LG: I hate spunk!

            by dinotrac on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 12:38:04 PM PST

            [ Parent ]

            •  Yes but, the true lunatic fringe is all they care (0+ / 0-)

              About - all their strategies, tactics, speeches, their propaganda channels, and the actual politicians that have been elected cater to nothing else but the extremists. And for example; every Republican has loved ones that are potential victims of gun violence - and how did the issue of strengthening gun laws work out with them?

              "All lives end. All hearts get broken. Caring is not an advantage." - Mycroft Holmes

              by Fordmandalay on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 01:16:13 PM PST

              [ Parent ]

    •  They'll blame everything on the female libido (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Fordmandalay

      "We *can* go back to the Dark Ages! The crust of learning and good manners and tolerance is so thin!" -- Sinclair Lewis

      by Nespolo on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 10:08:59 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  I have to wonder if he's dong this for that reason (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Fordmandalay

      Hey, guys, think I can get the Republicans to come out in favor of domestic violence?

      Art is the handmaid of human good.

      by joe from Lowell on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 11:03:26 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  and when the Right (13+ / 0-)

    shows its outrage at this statement, they lose even MORE women's votes.

    I do think Obama is setting the stage for a Hillary win.

    S-M-A-R-T


    "Legalizing pot won't make more pot-smokers. It will just make less criminals. - Me

    by AlyoshaKaramazov on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 07:10:55 AM PST

  •  This president (6+ / 0-)

    has a way of making his opponent look and sound crazy and out of touch. They will bite they can't help themselves. This is who they are unfortunately ask Newt.

    •  Obama didn't do as well as he could have (2+ / 0-)

      with his recent expressions about marijuana, but he did more than enough to have the effect I have anticipated. The Right was already having a spasm with legalization kicking in in Colorado.

      But Obama talking even remotely favorably about the weed - which is exactly what I have wanted Democrats to do for a decade (Thank You Mr. President) - has kicked that spasm up a notch and, just as you point out with regards to the women issue, the GOP has no choice but to repeat its nonsense and further alienate themselves from mainstream Americans.

      Clearly this should continue because it will pay off well and costs virtually nothing but media access.

      Obama has green-lighted this discussion.

      Legal means "good".
      [41984 | Feb 4, 2005]

      by xxdr zombiexx on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 07:28:09 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  "real" (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    TKO333, bsmechanic

    I hate the word "real."  Truthfully, history is full of real men hurting women--and hurting men with different skin color, religion, preferences, language, flag, etc.  It's what men have done forever--what we want is good men--men that don't don't take advantage of their greater size.  To me, that's the basic message of all bibles--be nice to those you can overpower.  We need civilized men--not real men.

    Actions speak louder than petitions.

    by melvynny on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 07:19:27 AM PST

    •  Also hurting men just like them, btw. nt (0+ / 0-)
      •  not "really" (0+ / 0-)

        Only if they thought they had an advantage--or would win something undeserved.  Sports are men acting primal--and, now, women emulating the worst of manhood.

        Actions speak louder than petitions.

        by melvynny on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 08:11:01 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Yes really. (0+ / 0-)

          Whether it's the Middle Ages and King X killed his brothhers or father or nephews or more recently Hitler cutting the head off the Sturmabteilung (largely Aryan German war veterans like himself), Stalin executing almost everyone of any importance in the Soviet hierarchy (encompassing both the party and military, as well as the rest of society), through Castro abandoning Guevara, right up to Christie throwing his high school buddy under the bus.

          Do they hurt other groups more? Of course, I'm not denying that at all. 'They' are always the enemy. I just wish to point out that colloborating with these types can backfire big time. Not to help the collaborators but to deny them allies.

        •  Also, too; (0+ / 0-)

          Advantage/win something undeserved is why they hurt everyone, btw.

    •  You are painting yourself into a corner. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      joe from Lowell

      Surely you don't want to get stuck trying to argue that civilized men are not real men?

      The behaviors you list come about largely because they have been defined as "real" for men. Men can indulge in them and not feel "fake."

      Seize command of the definition of "men," exclude the behaviors you condemn, and you have the actual mortals by their short'n'curlies. They either behave, or they are "no longer men," a rhetorical castration.

      It's not a perfect incentive, but it's better than nothing.

      "They bash your face in, and say you were always ugly." (Solzhenitsyn, Gulag Archipelago volume 3)

      by sagesource on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 08:43:54 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  beasts (0+ / 0-)

        Men are beasts--women are weaker beasts--usually.  Maggie Thatcher was more a bastard than a bitch.  Humans of both sexes are lords of the flies.  A mean god had to be created to control the beasts in us--He smote--not begged.  His Son is described as needing permission from big bad daddy.  

        Yes, btw, civilized man is not natural man--survival of the fittest is Republican man--although they don't like the term.

        Actions speak louder than petitions.

        by melvynny on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 10:01:49 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  Because we are the party that cares about facts (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Sparhawk, TKO333

    I have to point out that the President has been relying on a very dubious statistic when talking about this issue.  Even during this weekly address, he claims that an estimated 1 in 5 women are sexually assaulted during college.

    This statistic comes from an online study that asked women about their sexual experiences.  The researchers, rather than the women taking the survey, later determined whether or not they had ever been sexually assaulted.  They used an expansive definition of sexual assault.  For instance any woman who reported "attempted forced kissing" counted as being sexually assaulted.  Now in some circumstances, that probably applies.  But I don't think most of the women who experienced that at a party would consider themselves to have been sexually assaulted.  

    They also included anyone that reported having had sex when they were too drunk to consent.  So every time too college kids get drunk and fool around, a crime has been committed.

    About 1 in 40 women actually report being sexually assaulted during college.  It's very fair to say that that number under counts the situation.  But this is a bogus methodology for trying to get the real number.  And we liberals wouldn't truck with shoddy social science, right?

    http://chronicle.com/...

    "Unrestricted immigration is a dangerous thing -- look at what happened to the Iroquois." Garrison Keillor

    by Spider Stumbled on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 07:23:29 AM PST

    •  Maybe they wouldn't count forced kissing as SA... (0+ / 0-)

      (SA=Sexual assault) So what? Let's be clear we are not talking about a guy trying to kiss a girl and her pushing him away (although that's how Gasbaugh will play it). It's when she refuses and the guy uses physical force or threats and keeps trying to kiss her. That is SA.

      Remember that it is not that long ago when many people, including women who were effected by it, thought it was ok for a husband to hit his wife to 'discipline' her; that many thought that rape in marriage wasn't rape - and the law often agreed. Well those things were always wrong, whatever the victim thinks. That's one reason a lot of jurisdictions prosecute domestic violence regardless of whether the victim chooses to press charges. So, again, so what if the woman feels she was sexually assaulted or not? According to the mores, and hopefully laws, of a decent, civilized society, she was.

      •  You don't know that. (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Sparhawk

        The researchers are making those assumptions.  I already wrote that some of these incidents are actual sexual assaults, but not nearly all of them.  So it's a bogus statistic.

        "Unrestricted immigration is a dangerous thing -- look at what happened to the Iroquois." Garrison Keillor

        by Spider Stumbled on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 08:30:52 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Forced kissing is - ummm - forced, yes? (0+ / 0-)

          Kinda by definition. Is kissing sexual? In this context yes. Is forcing something on an unwilling participant an assault? Also yes.

           SA any way you look at it.

          •  Okay. (0+ / 0-)

            What about forced attempting kissing? Or 2 drunk people screwing? (Or 3 drunk people, etc.)

            The methodology is very poor.  Take a survey or behavior, and then cram as many people into the category of sexual assault victim as possible.  This creates a false impression of how widespread sexual assault is.  And the next step is drafting laws based on this study.  That's absurd.

            Imagine a survey where women who had abortions were asked:

            1. Did you ever feel a pang of regret about your decision to abort?
            2. If you had it to do over, would you not go through that experience again?
            3. Would you want your daughter to go through a similar experience?

            And then 15 questions more.  Then the researchers decide that anyone with one yes answer regrets having an abortion.  So the headline is 20% of Women Report Regret About Having Terminated Pregnancy.

            "Unrestricted immigration is a dangerous thing -- look at what happened to the Iroquois." Garrison Keillor

            by Spider Stumbled on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 06:58:21 PM PST

            [ Parent ]

    •  The statistic is not based on (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      middleagedhousewife

      one study.  There have been numerous peer-reviewed studies on the subject over the past 3 decades.  The statistic has consistently remained at 20-25%.  

      "YOPP!" --Horton Hears a Who

      by Reepicheep on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 08:35:48 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Sounds like BS (0+ / 0-)

        One in four women, while in college, experiences an event that an average person would understand to be sexual assault?

        I submit that any sexual assault is a problem but the numbers sound inflated to me.

        Also, if a student doesn't think a particular event was sexual assault, I don't see how the researchers get to gainsay them to say otherwise.

        (-5.50,-6.67): Left Libertarian
        Leadership doesn't mean taking a straw poll and then just throwing up your hands. -Jyrinx

        by Sparhawk on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 08:54:47 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  I doubt if it's BS..... (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Sparhawk

          .... but if you used exactly the same standards with men -- "Have you ever been pressured into engaging in sexual activity when you really didn't want to" -- men being raped would become a much more common event. Certainly I've been insistently kissed by women over my objections and without my consent. Was that rape? I didn't think so; I classified it as someone, probably under the influence, being an asshole. But what would the survey have said? What should the survey have said?

          And what about situations where both parties, say, are blind drunk? Do you arrest both of them for rape? Both engaged in sex without legally valid consent from the other, after all.

          "They bash your face in, and say you were always ugly." (Solzhenitsyn, Gulag Archipelago volume 3)

          by sagesource on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 09:04:40 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  Here's the thing (0+ / 0-)

            Sexual assault / rape is serious business. If you are sexually assaulted, it is very traumatic, physically and/or emotionally injures you in a serious way, and is generally extremely awful.

            To lump that in with unwanted kissing or other sexual advances that don't go beyond a certain point, ill-advised sex while drunk or under peer pressure, or any other decidedly "minor" asshole behavior as one statistic is extremely dishonest. They are not the same thing at all, and makes a problem out of something that is in reality much less of a problem.

            People in these threads sometimes get accused of "mansplaining". Is it "womansplaining" to recode an event that the "victim" does not believe constitutes a sexual assault as one anyway to pad the data?

            (-5.50,-6.67): Left Libertarian
            Leadership doesn't mean taking a straw poll and then just throwing up your hands. -Jyrinx

            by Sparhawk on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 09:18:32 AM PST

            [ Parent ]

          •  You can't use (0+ / 0-)

            exactly the same standards with men, unless you only asked men if about being "insistently kissed" by women who were strong enough to hold that man down or beat him into submission.  It is not the same thing, and we are not talking about "drunk sex."  We are talking about rapists targeting women who are incapacitated by alcohol or drugs and unable to fight back.  

            Victims may not think the word "rape" because they've absorbed the messages that it doesn't count if you were drunk, or it doesn't count if you were kissing him before.  They still feel the humiliation and the violation.

            "YOPP!" --Horton Hears a Who

            by Reepicheep on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 10:19:20 AM PST

            [ Parent ]

          •  Men are stronger (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Reepicheep

            Anyone who doesn't use the fact that male STRENGTH is the defining characteristic of sexual assault isn't willing to approach the discussion in an honest way.

            Sexual assault isn't something annoying that you have to endure (like a girl you don't want trying to kiss you). It's frightening because you are unable to overpower the attacker. A stronger man forcing kisses on a far weaker woman is NOT the same thing as a weaker woman forcing kisses on a stronger man.

          •  You're missing the strength element (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Reepicheep

            Sure, you were kissed against your will by a woman, insistently. My guess is though that you were at least as big and strong as she, and you didn't have a primal fear for your personal safety.

            Imagine if a 280-lb male linebacker backed you into a corner and began kissing you against your will. Would it still not be a big deal? Would you feel a bit more disturbed by the underlying power imbalance—that it will only stop when HE wants it to stop?

            Also, this is clearly not just about rape. It's about sexual assault. The studies aren't equating unwanted kissing with rape; that's why the bigger issue is sexual assault and the feeling of disempowerment, danger and lack of personal safety and autonomy. Rape is just one (and the most drastic) sub-set of that.

        •  It sounds like BS? (2+ / 0-)

          Well, okay.
          The Justice department, the FBI, the CDC and thousands of researchers over the decades are probably wrong, everybody. Because Sparhawk thinks it "sounds" like BS.  

          I bet they just lied in those studies to get attention.

          "YOPP!" --Horton Hears a Who

          by Reepicheep on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 09:39:59 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

      •  I'll have to duck after posting this.... (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Reepicheep

        ....but women have to mean it when they say "No," too.

        I'm sure I'm not the only guy who has been laughed at later for taking someone's "No" seriously: "Well if you were that interested, why did you stop?" And that was a relatively civil response. This never happened to me personally, but I did see a few cases of men who heeded a "no" later mocked as homosexual (though the word used was a nastier way of expressing that same basic meaning).

        IIRC there was a study somewhere that claimed that up to a quarter of women had said "no" for reasons other than a flat "no" -- to keep from getting a reputation of being "too easy," for instance.

        My own experiences with the my-no-was-really-a-good-girl-yes crowd were not all that common, and they go back a few years, so this may be very rare now. I certainly hope so. It wasn't all that rare in the past.

        "They bash your face in, and say you were always ugly." (Solzhenitsyn, Gulag Archipelago volume 3)

        by sagesource on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 08:56:51 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  How horrible that anybody thinks this needs to be (4+ / 0-)

    said.

    But I know it does, and I also know the appropriate target audience, which isn't men.

    Women who stay with a battering man need to hear this over and over and over and over and over.  They need to know that their pain is not their fault.  They need to know that their pain is not the natural result of being in a relationship. A woman deserves a real man and real men don't do that.

    I'll backtrack on my first statement a bit here -- maybe there are men who would be receptive to the message.  Maybe men still exist who have never heard it.  Maybe there are correctable psychological issues issues as powerful as the inevitable loss of self-worth experienced by women who remain in a battering relationship.

    All I know is this:

    I am the son of a mother and the brother of a sister who entered into and remained in abusive relationships.  I remain unable to fathom how two smart and capable women could do that, but they did.

    I once got so mad at my wife that I went outside and kicked a dent into a car I loved, but she has never had to fear physical abuse.  My daughters, in turn, cannot imagine why any woman would endure that.  If that's all I've managed to accomplish as a father, I'll take it. In fact, I'll feel pretty good about it.

    LG: You know what? You got spunk. MR: Well, Yes... LG: I hate spunk!

    by dinotrac on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 07:30:38 AM PST

    •  It's a strange world. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      dinotrac

      first, I applaud you for raising your daughters well. Here's an odd thing from my experience.

      I had more than a few relationships when I was young, so I got to know women from different backgrounds. A couple times in my life, the woman I was with goaded me to a level that invited violent response. I can't be 100% certain, but the dynamic very much felt as if they were trying to push me to strike them. That never could happen, but I see how easily it might. My conclusion was that they had experience in one or more relationships that involved that behavior, and some part of them connected it to, well, I don't know what.

      Wow, I didn't realize how powerful those memories were. On time, when I was 19, I responded by slapping my own face, because that was the only way I had to deal with the emotions.

      My point, though, is not at all to criticize those women, but to feel very harshly towards the men who had hurt them in the past. It's never right to strike a woman. It's just not right.

    •  For once I agree with you. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      dinotrac

      I'm just sceptical (not of what you said here, to be clear). Of course we should try, try and try again to reach out to women (and men, btw) who suffer abuse. And then another ten times and then a hundred times after that if need be. But it often won't help - once a certain mindset takes hold it can be surprisingly hard to dislodge. Perhaps I'm too sanguine, too pessimistic - I hope so.

      Prevention is far more effective than any cure; which is what the POTUS is really doing. He is trying to MADD the debate forward. He is saying that SA is unacceptable, in any form. That message is aimed at potential perpatrators as much as potential (or actual) victims. I think you kind of make the point yourself when you recount your family history and the fact that your daughters wouldn't take abuse. And yeah, you should be proud of that.

      But the other aspect about the largely successful fight against drunk driving, apart from education and stigmatization, was punishment. Hence my post just above.

      Peace to you and yours and I hope you don't have to deal with this stuff again. And if you do (Sister, Mother) I hope at least your daughters aren't victims.

      •  I agree completely. (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        BelgianBastard

        If punishment makes any man think twice -- great.
        If punishment puts an abuser where he can't hurt anybody, not as great because of that first victim, but -- also great.

        This is a stain on the very idea of manhood.

        LG: You know what? You got spunk. MR: Well, Yes... LG: I hate spunk!

        by dinotrac on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 12:28:13 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  Real men (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Involuntary Exile

    do not hurt others living and non-living entities.

    It's all about courage assisted by a dedication to, "and justice for all."

    I am a Progressive. I believe in one simple phrase: "... with liberty, and justice for all."

    by Nebraska68847Dem on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 07:34:41 AM PST

  •  Real men don't kill children and women with (6+ / 0-)

    drones either.

    "Fragmented and confused, we have no plan to combat any of this, but are looking to be saved by the very architects of our ruination."

    by BigAlinWashSt on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 07:36:17 AM PST

  •  Good job, Mister President (2+ / 0-)

    If only the GOP weren't convinced that they are the "party of Real Manhood," the President's advice might have more reach.

    I'm just glad his words will have some reach.

    ‎"Masculinity is not something given to you, but something you gain. And you gain it by winning small battles with honor." - Norman Mailer
    My Blog
    My wife's woodblock prints

    by maxomai on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 07:37:47 AM PST

  •  Culture of Violence (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    bobdevo

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't he oppose Kirsten Gillibrand's MJIA? I find opposition to that bill unconscionable.

    Also, in the military, the majority of victims of sexual assault are men. A lower percentage of men than of women are victims, but because the gross number of men is so much higher, the numbers work out as such. "Real men," if we are to use such a phrase, shouldn't hurt other men either. Human beings, broadly, shouldn't hurt other human beings.

  •  "Real men don't hurt women" . . . (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BigAlinWashSt

    tell that to the Afghan, Pakistani, Iraqi, Yemeni, etc women and children being blown to pieces by predator drones.

    Fiat justitia ruat caelum "Let justice be done though the heavens fall."

    by bobdevo on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 08:06:39 AM PST

    •  In other words.... (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      middleagedhousewife

      "Let's think of an excuse to do nothing about the domestic problem of rape."

      Sorry, that's how it reads. Broadening the scope of a problem until it is insoluble is a classic diversionary tactic.

      "They bash your face in, and say you were always ugly." (Solzhenitsyn, Gulag Archipelago volume 3)

      by sagesource on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 09:09:46 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Uh, hardly. In other words (0+ / 0-)

        lets not over-praise someone who tolerates abominations in the military while indiscriminately ki8lling women nd children around the world.

        For example, when Lt. William Calley was convicted of the murder of 350+ Vietnamese civilians, including women and children, he served his entire sentence in his own bachelor quarters on base.  

        Later, the president you are praising allowed, as Commander in Chief, Bradley Manning to be held in torturous conditions, in violation of the UCMJ regarding speedy trials, for 1100+ days before he was convicted of anything.

        You don't think the president, as CinC of the military, could not order something done about rape in the military?

        Fiat justitia ruat caelum "Let justice be done though the heavens fall."

        by bobdevo on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 10:31:58 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Everyone (0+ / 0-)

          below him in the chain of command has to agree to those terms. EVERYONE. All the way down to the kids in boot camp. It might surprise you but the military is full of patriarchal chauvinistic men that consider women of equal rank to be below them. The very thing they should respect, rank, which is beaten into them from day one, is ignored.

          •  "Everyone below him in the chain of command (0+ / 0-)

            has to agree to those terms.

            Since fucking when is that how the military works?  The generals have to get buy-in from the corporals before they issue orders?

            Fiat justitia ruat caelum "Let justice be done though the heavens fall."

            by bobdevo on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 02:06:56 PM PST

            [ Parent ]

    •  What's with linking this subject (0+ / 0-)

      to drones? Is it just because the president made these comments, or is there something about the subject that prompts this?

      Gondwana has always been at war with Laurasia.

      by AaronInSanDiego on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 12:37:43 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  I'll take a shot at the GOP response... (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    dsb, skod, BadKitties, Val

    "Uncle Sugar's policy of Obamacare-provided birth control encourages rape. Freed from the fear of the act resulting in progeny and enticed by the riotous libidos of women on contraception, men everywhere are stalking pharmacies and Godless Planned Parenthood clinics in search of "safe" prey. Make no mistake, Obama is pro-rape."

    Sad to say, I've heard so much of their bug-eyed crazy shit over the years I've come to realize there's simply nothing Obama can say or do that can't be contorted into dog whistle gibberish for the haters. I could probably post that on some wing-nut blog and be hailed (or invited to be a guest on Hannity).

  •  Good. We need leadership (4+ / 0-)

    on this.  There is a perception, especially with the term "date rape" that someone can be a rapist by accident, or through misunderstanding.  Rapists certainly make use of these excuses.
    But studies of campus rapes indicate a pattern of multiple assaults by a single perp.  This pattern indicates that rapists know exactly what they are doing.  They pick likely victims, and they deliberately set them up.  Getting the victim alone, cutting off escape routes, incapacitating the victim with alcohol or drugs, these are all part of the thrill for the rapist.
    Rapists aren't nice guys who made a mistake.
    They are men who who get off on humiliating and degrading women.  Rapists aren't guys who just didn't know any better, or who maybe don't realize how damaging their crime is. They know that their victim will be traumatized, they know their crime could destroy her life. For rapists, that is the fun part.  Its the reason they do it.  
    Rapists exploit the feelings of decent guys who buy their "whoops, did I do that?" excuses.  Its easy for them to manipulate the sympathies of decent guys. Decent guys always assume other guys are decent, too.

    "YOPP!" --Horton Hears a Who

    by Reepicheep on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 08:08:38 AM PST

  •  His goal is (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    AaronInSanDiego

    not to reach the haters, the goal is to draw them out so the world can see them for who they are. They will show the world who they are and what they stand for. Good job, Mr. President.

  •  The abbreviated YouTube title (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    fou

    - is unfortunate and slightly humorous.

    It's also somewhat "unfortunate" that I can barely recognize my country any longer. The shrill response from the right to this speech along with arguments over "legitimate rape" and even contraception have me wondering if the slide can even be reversed.

    Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies, We were roaring drunk on petroleum -Kurt Vonnegut

    by Anthony Page aka SecondComing on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 08:42:44 AM PST

    •  What slide? (0+ / 0-)

      Really. Were you born yesterday?

      They're only saying openly what they've always thought while they were doing what they always did.

      "Openly justified bad behavior" is one of the uglier stages of social change, but it's still more positive than "bad behavior accepted without question."

      A problem that no one thinks is a problem will never get solved.  Getting the perps to defend themselves openly is a first step, but a necessary one. It makes the problem visible.

      "They bash your face in, and say you were always ugly." (Solzhenitsyn, Gulag Archipelago volume 3)

      by sagesource on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 09:14:37 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Question on the 1 in 5 stat (0+ / 0-)

    What exactly does that refer to? It cannot be 1 in 5 women are sexually assaulted on campuses each year can it? That would be an epidemic.

  •  Do We Agree With President Obama's Position (0+ / 0-)

    Maybe the WR spins everything that the President says because we are silent in our agreement with him. Therefore, the only voices we hear are the WR's.

    I not only agree with the President, but, there is clear documentation that the Republicans seem bent on hurting as well as controlling every facet of a woman's life. The ultra- sound legislation, created by Republican Governors and lawmakers is tantamount to rape.

     Wage inequality,too, hurts women; yet, it is fought for most aggressively by REPUBLICANS.

    Health care in general, as well as effective contraception are issues which when not provided hurt women. Republicans could not be clearer about their position to obstruct, criminalizing and destroy any attempt to provide these services.

    If one agrees with the President's premise that "Real men do not hurt women", then REPUBLICANS would assuredly fail this test of true manhood.  And, we need to strongly tell Republicans that they are not true men,yet.

    Males? maybe, but true  men? little proof seems to be available...

  •  i would also add (0+ / 0-)

    mr president that real men don't lie to their supporters and put the interests of the special interests ahead of america and the 99% as you have.

    the 99% elected you and the 1% can rely on you.

    save america defeat all republicans and conservatives

  •  Going for the throat of the problem (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Krush, middleagedhousewife

    "Our communities – our whole country – is held back"

    That's right.  The longer we avoid discussing the 800 LB gorilla in the room the longer it will take our civilization to evolve.  I can't think of a more direct route to solving our problems than addressing this head on.

    What's the difference between the Federal government and organized crime? One's legally sanctioned.

    by FrankenPC on Sat Jan 25, 2014 at 09:37:51 AM PST

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