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Last night, Jon Stewart previewed the State of the Union speech and how Congress will simply ignore everything Obama asks for.  Then Sam Bee talked with noted libertarian asshole Peter Schiff about why raising the minimum wage is a bad thing.

But first, obviously, the big news today, the State of the Union address... which just finished.  An hour ago.  We can talk about it right now, of course, since we all... just saw it.  And are eager to discuss what happens.  Especially Joe Biden... when he... farted.  Which was surprising in number and volume.

Apparently, I'm not even sure why the President did a whole State of the Union address, because he'd already released this Vine about it yesterday.

BARACK OBAMA (1/27/2014): Tomorrow night, it's time to restore opportunity for all. ... Tomorrow night, it's time to restore opportunity for all.
So why even go on with the speech?  That's all you need.  The rest of the speech is just jibbity-jabbity.  "The state of the union is bleeh, may God continue to bless bluuuh."  And the Republicans could always give their awkward response speech via Vine.
GOV. BOBBY JINDAL, R-LA: Good evening.
GOV. MITCH DANIELS, R-IN: (awkward stare)
SEN. MARCO RUBIO, R-FL: (takes sip of water)
GOV. BOBBY JINDAL, R-LA: Good evening.
GOV. MITCH DANIELS, R-IN: (awkward stare)
SEN. MARCO RUBIO, R-FL: (takes sip of water)
It's such a more efficient way of introducing us to all these people who will never be President.  (audience laughter)  Of course, the Tea Party could have their turn.
REP. LOUIE GOHMERT, R-TX: Socialist.
REP. STEVE KING, R-IA: Communist.
SEN. RAND PAUL, R-KY: Tyrannical.
JOHNNY: They're coming to get you, Barbara.
REP. LOUIE GOHMERT, R-TX: Socialist.
REP. STEVE KING, R-IA: Communist.
SEN. RAND PAUL, R-KY: Tyrannical.
JOHNNY: They're coming to get you, Barbara.
Boom!  Done!  And now the media won't have to spend all night trying to fill airtime with analysis.
ED RENDELL: Good speech.
KARL ROVE: Bad speech.
STEPHANIE CUTTER: Great speech.
HARRIS FAULKNER: Hillary.
CHRIS MATTHEWS: Christie.
ASHLEIGH BANFIELD: 2016.
ED RENDELL: Good speech.
KARL ROVE: Bad speech.
STEPHANIE CUTTER: Great speech.
HARRIS FAULKNER: Hillary.
CHRIS MATTHEWS: Christie.
ASHLEIGH BANFIELD: 2016.
Done!  (audience applause)  Three hours of cable analysis in six seconds.  And just as insightful.  It's not like the State of the Union has been particularly effective of late anyway.
JULIANNA GOLDMAN (1/28/2014): There's a staggering statistic for the President going in to tonight's speech, which is that from last year's State of the Union, out of the 41 asks he made of Congress, he got two.  And you know what they were?  Raising the debt ceiling, and a reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act.
That's it?  Say what you will about this Congress, but they will, when pushed, reluctantly continue to make it illegal to commit violent acts against women.  (audience laughter)

But of course, this is the Congress that wouldn't even ban crazy people from getting assault rifles after Newtown.  I don't know what Obama thinks he'd accomplish talking to those idiots.

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS (1/28/2014): The president looking to force policy changes on his own without Congress.
I'm intrigued.  And increasingly willing to go against the Constitution and entertain the notion of a 2-branch government.
CHRIS CUOMO (1/28/2014): He's going to raise the minimum wage himself, an executive order to raise the minimum wage.
Of course!  He'll do it himself.  He doesn't need anybody.  An executive order.  Just him.  Alone in a room.  It's the most auto-erotic form of governance.  (audience laughter)  Who needs a partner when I have my... hand here?  Put a pen in it.

Yep, President Obama is apparently now in the "fuck it" stage of his presidency.  (wild audience cheering and applause)  Yep.  He's done talking to these people, and now he's just starting to tick things off his Fuck It list.

Video below the fold.

Lewis Black then talked about the Sochi Winter Olympics.
Meanwhile, Stephen continued his Superb Owl coverage, looking to see if he could become an NFL quarterback, and having on David Yarnold to talk about owls, because why not?
Stephen talked with the New York Giants' Justin Tuck, and Jon talked with Louis C.K., which went long.  Here's the unedited interview in two parts.
Part 1
Part 2

Originally posted to BruinKid on Wed Jan 29, 2014 at 05:40 AM PST.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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