From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Oh! More Things I Know:
If all goes well, the six remaining Republican responses to the State of the Union should be finished by noon today.Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Rand Paul says there's a fifty-fifty chance he'll run for president. That's just the kind of decisive leadership we need in the White House.
LGBT people who travel to Sochi should be careful because there are entities there who could do great harm to their bodies. I'm thinking mostly of Coke and McDonald's.Next time he makes the trek to Congress, President Obama should intimidate Republicans by ripping off his shirt and cracking walnuts with his pecs like Grover Cleveland did.Another thing I know: John
Boehner is jonesin' for a cigaboo.
Coming soon to a GOP line of attack near you: voter fraud studies showing no voter fraud prove that voter fraud studies are rife with voter fraud study fraud.
Today is Dick Cheney's birthday. He turns 666. Again.
America is now at a point where, when a reporter asks someone at the scene of a mass shooting if they're surprised by what happened, the answer is likely to be "No."
Unless Punxsutawney Phil screws it all up Sunday, as of today there are 7 weeks 'til spring.
Why, yes...yes I will take you to Funky Town.
Republicans just broke their record for the number of idiotic statements made in a single January. And they still have today and tomorrow to go.
If you forward this post to several of your best friends it will bring you good luck. Unfortunately the people who receive it will be cursed for life.
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, January 30, 2014
Note: A quick heads-up that there will be no C&J Monday on account of a severe case of Februarythirdophobia. Back Tuesday with dust bunnies all over me from cowering under the bed.-
Days 'til Presidents' Day: 18
Days 'til the Winter Microbrew and Music Festival in Traverse City, Michigan: 9
New minimum wage President Obama plans to enact for federal contract employees by executive order: $10.10
Percent chance that "The debate is settled. Climate change is a fact": 100%
(Source: President Obama)
Conference Board's Index for consumer confidence in January, higher than expected and the best since August: 80.7
Current unemployment rate in Maine: 6.2%
Year in which Pete Seeger's 100-foot sloop "Clearwater" was launched in South Bristol, Maine: 1969
(Source: The Portland Press Herald)
Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
[T]hose who deliberately corrupt our language for political advantage deserve some special ring in hell. One is Rush Limbaugh, a silly man. Another is Newt Gingrich, who has done much to poison the well of public debate: "sick," "twisted," "pathetic," "bizarre," "traitor."-
But I think far more damaging is the planned, corporately funded, interlocking web of propaganda---the think tanks underwritten by corporate funders, the "academic journals" underwritten by corporate funders, and right-wing newspapers, radio, and television, not to mention low-life, bottom-feeding scandal-mongers, all funded by huge right-wing money. Hillary Clinton once called this "a vast right-wing conspiracy," but it's not. It is all right there, out in the open; it has been growing before our eyes for more than thirty years for anyone to see.
---From Who Let the Dogs In?
Puppy Pic of the Day: Please sob responsibly:
JEERS to justice delayed. Well, poo. Today was supposed to be the start of the Bostic v. Rainey case in Virginia---aka getting the state's law against marriage equality declared unconstitutional. The plaintiffs are represented by Prop. 8 dream team David Boies and Ted Olson, so the nation's eyeballs were going to be locked on this case. Sadly, the group Americans for Equal Rights informs us…
The Thursday, January 30, 2014 Hearing for the Virginia marriage equality case of Bostic v. Rainey was postponed due to inclement weather. The hearing will be re-scheduled as soon as practical at the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia as ordered by Judge Arenda L. Wright Allen.I'm worried. I think the fundies have cracked our secret gay-feminist-pagan code for controlling the weather.
JEERS to a northeastern January day down in Dixie. Residents in Atlanta, Georgia were---and still are---furious after traffic was paralyzed for a prolonged period of time. Vehicle flow on highways was, in many cases, down to one lane moving at a snail's pace, causing massive inconvenience and outrage at public works officials. The U.S. Attorney down there says he's looking into the matter on suspicion that the storm that caused the mayhem was an act of political payback. Specifically, God's retribution for Newt Gingrich.
Roosevelt is praised most often for his role in preserving the American capitalist system at a time when many countries were opting for fascism. Given the dire crises he was forced to confront, perhaps the highest praise from the poll is "the right man in the right place at the right time." [...] Others praise him for stopping Hitler---and shudder to think what might have been if a less-effective president had been at the helm in those dangerous days.The lunatics on the right try mightily to rewrite history by insisting that the New Deal was a failure...never mind that laws enacted in the 1930s helped prevent our 2008 Great Recession from turning into an all-out depression. Pay your respects here. And never forget that we have nothing to fear but fear itself. Specifically, Harold Fear over on Sycamore Street who's eight feet tall and wields a chainsaw and a bad attitude.
JEERS to rollin' rollin' rollin'…and then stoppin' stoppin' stoppin'. The town of Clovis, New Mexico, was ground zero Tuesday for a sudden tidal wave of tumbleweeds. Officials say they believe it occurred moments after Gladys Higginbotham opened her window and yelled, "Who wants to watch all the Republican responses to the State of the Union with me?"
CHEERS to the new eye in the sky. A pair of astronauts performed a spacewalk this week at the Internationalo Space Station. Their mission: install some spiffy new cameras. They say the goal of the high-powered, cutting-edge monitoring technology is to take great pics of the earth in minute detail and also piss off Edward Snowden.
CHEERS to playing second banana. As Buzzfeed notes, when things got a little tedious during the State of the Union address, you could always just focus on Joe Biden and be instantly entertained by his itching, laughing, pointing, organizing stuff in his pockets, keeping John Boehner from sliding off his chair…in other words, Joe being Joe:
If America ever needs a goofy-uncle czar, we are so covered.
Five years ago in C&J: January 30, 2009
JEERS to America the Crumbling. Looks like the stimulus bill is arriving without a moment to spare. It would seem that our infrastructure has more holes in it than Swiss cheese:
The American Society of Civil Engineers issued an infrastructure report card Wednesday giving a bleak cumulative ranking of D. "We've been talking about this for many many years," Patrick Natale, the group's executive director, told CNN. ... The group estimates that the government and the private sector need to invest $2.2 trillion over five years, roughly three times the size of President Obama's stimulus package.Damn. I'd love to help, but all I've got in my wallet is a $5 trillion bill. Hang on, I'll be right back---I'm going to Rite-Aid to buy a pack of gum. [1/30/14 Update: Last year the ASCE's report said we'd improved our overall infrastructure grade all the way up to D+. Progress!!!]
CHEERS to not sparing the Rod. The Illinois state Senate sent an unambiguous message yesterday: "Don’t let the door Blagojehitya on the way out!" In response, the ex-governor appeared on his front porch to issue a brief statement of defiance, which is now in its 25th hour. Blagojevich's replacement: Pat Quinn. Oh, great---another name I can't pronounce.
And just one more…
CHEERS to second chances. If 2014 hasn't gotten off to a good enough start for you, here's good news: you get a do-over! Starting tomorrow, the Chinese calendar flips over to a new year---4712. Specifically, the Year of the Horse. If you were born in 1918, 1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990 or 2002, welcome to your life:
With a natural aversion to seeking others' counsel, (and impatient with those who offer advice unbidden) horses are the masters of their own destiny. And their characteristic energy and stamina ensures that they will never rest until a personal goal is completed.
On the negative side, the horse's fierce independent streak may sometimes translate into hotheadedness and almost childlike temper tantrums. Their impulsiveness may also have friends and loved ones scratching their heads as the horse speeds off in all directions -- doing or saying things right out of the blue.
Here's an easy way to tell if a member of the tea party caucus was born during the year of the Horse. If their tail gets in the way when they talk, you're lookin' at one.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:-
"Let me be clear to you: you ever show Cheers and Jeers to me again I'll throw you off this fucking balcony."
---Rep. Michael Grimm (R-NY)