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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…

Late Night Snark: Sports and Suchlike

"The Seahawks beat the Broncos 43-8. The Broncos are blaming it on a traffic study."
---David Letterman

"People are worried that Sochi in Russia is not ready for the Olympics. They have a mall there where the only store that's currently open is a Cinnabon---or as Americans refer to it: a mall that caters to all of our needs."
---Conan O'Brien

Google Class
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"I heard there’s even a shortage of pillows. The shortage is so bad that visitors are being asked to give their pillows to the Olympic athletes. Because there's nothing more comforting than waking up in Russia to see a stranger coming at ya with a pillow. 'How was your sleep, Mr. Bond?'"
---Jimmy Fallon

"We have different ideas about a bright future, and we don’t want a shirtless man on a horse leading us."
---Nadya Tolokonnikova of Pussy Riot, to Stephen Colbert

"Ted Cruz is calling Obama the 'Imperial President,'
which he sees as a threat to his title: Supreme Asshole."
---Bill Maher

"Fox News is attempting to distract us from noticing that, rather than being a news organization, they are a spite-driven anger machine rooted in a fear that any change in the status quo will inevitably erode our nation's traditional power structure, leading to internment camps for 'real' Americans, powered by solar energy and tacos. Wait---hard-shell gay tacos."
---Jon Stewart

And this:
"I got to work with lighting people who made me look better than I really am. I got to work with audio people who made me sound better than I really do. I got to work with producers and writers and all kinds of people who made me look smarter than I really am. … I’m also proud to say, this is a union show. And I have never worked with a more professional group of people in my life. They get paid good money and they do a good job."
---Jay Leno, saying farewell after 22 years at The Tonight Show
The Fallon era begins.  Your west coast-friendly edition of  Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Friday, February 7, 2014

Note: A confidential memo obtained by C&J reveals that, due to the sequester, the NSA's funding no longer allows it to store adverbs.  Soly nowly youly knowly howly toly getly aroundly thely NSAly, winkly winkly.  ---Mgt.
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Wanderlust Festival 2014 Oahu logo
10 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the next full moon: 7
Days 'til the Wanderlust Festival on the Island of Oahu: 10
Percent of Americans who now categorize themselves as lower or middle class, up from 25% in 2008: 40%
(Source: Pew Research)
Weekly jobless claims in yesterday's report, down 20,000: 331,000
(Source: Labor Dept.)
Number of active twitter users at the end of 2013: 241 million
Percent of respondents in 60 countries who tell Nielsen Research they plan to buy a new car in the next two years: 65%
Original cost of a G.I. Joe action figure when it was introduced 50 years ago this month: $4

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NEW!  Michele Bachmann Departure Countdown

Michele Bachmann and her googly eyes leave Congress in 330 days.  Please plan your life accordingly.

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Puppy Pic of the Day:  The classic levitating Swiffer

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CHEERS to cultivating a hearty crop.  We have a few goddesses here at Daily Kos, and one of them is, of course, Frankenoid, creator of the Saturday Morning Home and Garden Blogging posts that have been keeping our thumbs green for nine years as of this month.  To celebrate the big oh-nine on February 22nd, she has a terrific idea that you need to be a part of:

Frankenoid's
One packet to
rule the world.
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We're planning something different as we head into the 10th year of Saturday Morning Garden Blogging---using the anniversary edition as a fundraising opportunity for candidates for local elections.  People submit information and a donation link for a person they support via kosmail, to be included in the diary.  I say it's planting the seeds now---during the low-key off-season primaries---to a crop of progressive office holders in our municipal, county and state governments come November.

Many times newcomers to dKos can't quite figure out why we have all these groups for gardening and home repair and crafting and painting and books: this is a site for politics!  Let's show them why community matters: at the most basic level without community there is no purpose to politics and it becomes nothing more than a scrim behind which factions scramble in a zero-sum game for short-lived political advantage.

So pick a candidate you think deserves some lovin' from the gardening wing of the Democratic party, and send the info to Frankenoid via this kosmail link.  I'm Bill in Portland Maine and I approved this message.

JEERS to another fine mess.  West Virginia's off the hook for this one: a big ol' toxic coal ash deluge in North Carolina:

Coal ash contamination in the Dan River at the Danville, VA drinking water intake. Approximately 20 miles downstream from the spill. (Photo: Eric Chance)
"Coal ash: It's what's for dinner.
Whether you like it or not."
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The coal ash was being stored in a waste pond at the Eden, N.C., power plant, but it started flowing into the Dan River on Sunday when a storm-water pipe running under the pond began to leak.

Brian Williams, a program manager with the Dan River Basin Association, told the AP he was worried that the extent of the damage might not be understood for years.  "How do you clean this up?" he said. "Dredge the whole river bottom for miles? You can't clean this up. It's going to go up the food chain. ... Everything in the ecosystem of a river is connected."

Duke Energy took immediate action by dispatching a team of men in hardhats to stand around and point at the sludge with frowny faces.  They're doing an excellent job.

CHEERS to historic moments in getting busted for doing something unspeakable with your hand.  Four years ago today, while bamboozling a rapt Tea Party audience in Nashville at the height of the movement's ascendancy, former everything Sarah Palin got caught for the most juvenile of transgressions: writing cheat notes on her hand:

Energy. Budget Tax cuts. Lift American spirits.  So complex were those concepts that she had to write them down.  On her hand.  We don’t say this to our right-wing friends nearly enough: thank you for your healing power of laughter.

CHEERS to swishing in Sochi.  The Olympics are underway.  I'm not really not following them much yet (if you're interested, Team USA has 180 medals and Russia has 3), partly because I'm having so much fun watching the international community having so much fun supporting the LGBT community that is so under siege in Russia.  Like Channel 4 in Britain which, like Google, switched to a pride-colored logo, but not before announcing it with, um, this…

You're in luck, kids. He also does birthday parties and bar mitzvahs.

CHEERS to construer constriction. On February 7, 1795 the Eleventh Amendment to the United States Constitution was ratified. It says:

The Eleventh Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.  1795
Actual size
"The judicial power of the United States shall not be construed to extend to any suit in law or equity, commenced or prosecuted against one of the United States by citizens of another State, or by citizens or subjects of any foreign state."
Sadly, they failed to include "or by aliens from another planet," leading to the unexpected annexation of Montana by the Emperor Glarb of the Xxxxorpp nebula. Whoops! (But I have to admit Brian Schweitzer looks regal in his token-viceroy sash.)

Bill Moyers with guest Bill McKibben
Billeh and Billeh chat this weekend.
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CHEERS to home vegetation.  Four words for my weekend TV viewing (besides Up with Steve Kornacki): Judge…Judy…Mega Marathon.  I have a three-month backlog---squeee!!!  If you're in the mood for something else, here are a few ideas:  On HBO's Real Time, Bill Maher goes back and forth with Charlie Crist, P.J. O'Rourke, Alicia Menendez, S.E. Cupp and chef Tom Colicchio.  New DVD releases include Oscar nominated Dallas Buyers Club and the Razzie-nominated Escape Plan with Arnie and Sly (the full list is here).  The schedule for the NBA is here and the NHL schedule is here. (The Bruins will "filibust" the Senators right in the chops Ha Ha Ha!)  On Bill Moyers & Company, Moyers meets McKibben.  And here's your Sunday morning lineup---please hold your applause 'til never:
Meet the Press: A very small U.S. Ambassador to Russia Michael McFaul emerges from several larger ones; Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH) show off their curling skills; the authors of some book about Hillary Clinton reveal all kinds of crazy dirt, man (she likes Greek yogurt? Get…OUT!); roundtable with Andrea Mitchell, Bobo Brooks, E.J. Dionne, billionaire-coddling Heritage Action figure Mike Needham, and former White House something or other Mona Sutphen.

Congressman Keith Ellison (D-MN)
Rep. Keith Ellison defends the
liberal agenda on 'This Week.'
This Week: This week it's George Stephanopoulos's turn to babysit Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI) while his wife Kristi goes shopping; roundtable with Rep. Tom Cole (R-OK), Rep. Keith Ellison (D-SCARY MUSLIM), S.E. "Dixie" Cupp, David Plouffe and Jeff Zeleny.

Face the Nation: Rep. Peter King (R-NY); Sens. Dick Durbin (D-IL) and Kelly Ayotte (R-NH); an exciting roundtable with him and him and her and her and…oh, yeah, almost forgot: him, too.

CNN's State of the Union: Janet Napolitano and apparently no one else, according to CNN's website.

Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Sens. Roy "Twist Me Up A Fat" Blunt (R-MO) and Ben "Folds Five" Cardin (D-MD); Reps. Michael McCaul (R-TX) and Adam Schiff (D-CA) get their signals crossed and arrive at the curling rink with mops instead of brooms; roundtable with George Will, Juan Williams, Julie Pace and Laura Ingraham.

Happy viewing!

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Five years ago in C&J: February 7, 2009

CHEERS to modern bipartisanship in a nutshell.  John Cole:

I really don’t understand how bipartisanship is ever going to work when one of the parties is insane.  Imagine trying to negotiate an agreement on dinner plans with your date, and you suggest Italian and she states her preference would be a meal of tire rims and anthrax.
Ha ha ha!  But, for the record, tire rims and anthrax are tasty with hamburger gravy and the right bottle of pinot noir.

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And just one more…

CHEERS to the Energizer Maestro.  Woo-hoo!  It's time for our annual (one day early this year because I'm unconscious on Saturdays) "Happy Birthday" salute to 21-time Grammy winner, 5-time Oscar winner, and rock-ribbed dirty fucking hippie Democrat John Williams.  He is hands-down and bar-none my favorite composer.  Over a span of fifty-plus years he's given us:

Composer John Williams
Happy Birthday!
>> One iconic theme for NBC Nightly News
>> Two Jaws scores
>> Three Harry Potter scores
>> Four Indiana Jones scores
>> Five themes for various Olympic Games
>> Six Star Wars scores
>> 12 years as conductor of the Boston Pops
>> 20 scores for episodes of Gilligan's Island
>> 26 scores for Steven Spielberg movies
He's also composed music involving a gaggle of American presidents: John F. Kennedy (JFK), John Quincy Adams/Martin Van Buren (Amistad), Tricky Dick (Nixon), Lincoln (Lincoln) and Obama (a piece for the first inauguration, in which he expressed "in a very simple and not ostentatious way the solemnity and beauty of the moment and the promise of the moment").  I was going to post a video of him conducting his Grammy-winning Olympic theme, but it's gonna be uniquitous over the next two weeks so instead I give you the best use of Darth Vader's theme ever:

He's currently sketching out his score for the next Star Wars movie, so please don't tell the 82-year-old about Obamacare or he might get ideas about "job lock" and stop working.  Happy birthday, music man...and many blessings on your cowbell.

Have a great weekend…FFF all the way and in a major key.  Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Poll

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| 3291 votes | Vote | Results

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