"Glass is a liquid except when you touch it" and other impossible-to-disprove theories coming to the Internet this winter.
It would be nice if people trying to prove or disprove man-made climate change would stop hitting each other with snow shovels while the scientists figure it out.
And if you must make the case, make it to someone who disagrees with you. The rest of us are already there, mate.
We are under an epic snow. It bends the trees, blots out the landscape, blinds us in sunlight. Children could be dropped into it and disappear, like pennies in a bowl of milk.
Snow is weather. Being weather, it is now used as “evidence” in the climate change debate. This crazy winter is because the jet stream is bending in the wrong direction now; or alternatively, yeah, sure, “global warming” – borrow my shovel and dig my car out of the warming, won’t you?
If you accept the opinion of the vast majority of scientists that the world’s climate is changing due to human activity, or even if you agree with the fourteen scientists who don’t think that (they all do the weather on FOX News) here’s the problem with tossing this winter around as evidence : almost everyone who does it is wrong. Wrong in the sense of (a) they don’t know what the hell they are talking about and (b) so will they please stop talking?!
Allow me to put forward some other theories which I can prove, just as soundly as the “this winter is proof of (blah blah blah)” argument:
* gravity is caused by the jealousy of the Lava Gods, who live under the crust of the earth and want our stuff
* tiny invisible soap bubbles in the air do battle with tiny invisible dirt bubbles, in an endless war of cleanliness
* glass is only solid when you touch it; the rest of the time, it is a liquid (prove me wrong !)
* inside of all steel is a sweet, caramel flavoured goo. But it is hard to get at it
* Elvis Presley never died, he just changed identities and his wife Hilary is going to run for President in 2016
* All food is transported here from the past (this one, I can actually prove)
You get the idea.
Here’s the thing – maybe people are right that this brutal winter proves / disproves the existence of man-made climate change. Most of them will be just as right predicting which side of a coin will be showing, when it lands on the ground. They are as informed and informative as Punxsutawney Phil.
One of the reasons I am certain that all these people who are certain, are certainly wrong, is that the damned experts don’t even know what this winter means: check out this in the New York Times.
It would be nice if people put forward information, as opposed to their own opinions, dressed-up as information. Or they could at least pretend to be looking for facts as opposed to verbal ammunition. Unfortunately, propping up convenient facts as evidence of convenient or inconvenient truths, is not science: it’s just politics. Feeble politics.
Personally, I’m starting to believe climate change is caused by all the hot air about the Sochi Olympics.
Let it go.