Occasionally I pretend to be a Republican just to see what Republicans say when they think you agree with them. After a small business related mixer pre-2012 election I ran into a guy passing out ABO (Anyone But Obama) pins and his business cards which read "White Rhino Printing". A little while back I ran into him again and he invited me to a costume party. I thought 'weird, a costume party in February. Whatever. I'll roll with it.' So I get to the party and there's a classic mix of dumb, offensive, and sexy costumes in every direction. Once everybody gets sloshed up I pushed a couple people into a political discussion. By the end of the night I couldn't tell what Republicans fear most, but I think I can narrow it down to three things:
1) Gay black people
2) Young Hispanics that get extra attention from teachers so they can learn English
3) People remembering President Obama as the guy who caught Bin Laden
4) Hillary Clinton being a great female President leading to more female Presidents
They seemed preternaturally obsessed with these fears. Please help me figure out which one strikes the most fear into their hearts so I know exactly what to say when they find out I'm not one of them...