That's fine yes, thank you. I'll have the soul crushing realization that we are all completely alone and yet utterly connected to go, please.
My existence is insecure and needs to remind me of itself as often as possible. I always put it off. Dealing with Being is very tiring.
At some point there will be a very last human alive, and odds are it’ll be a dude in a basement jerking it one last time to Twilight fan fiction.
Pretty sure that I could convince the police negotiator that my whole life is actually behind me.
Say what you want. I think the gopher from Caddy Shack really had it all figured out.
Facebook spent $19 billion on Whatsapp. NASA’s budget for 2014 is $16 billion. And those motherfuckers are trying to text aliens.
Angel: Noah finished building the ark
God: Wait he thought I was serious?
Angel: He got all the animals
God: Fuck I gotta kill everyone now
If you’re walking down the beach and notice two sets of footprints in the sand, then you’re about to get killed by Predator.
Sorry about your perception of reality.