The bill, titled "The American Decency Act of 2014," would make it illegal for "self-declared homosexual football players" to join an NFL team unless it "provides facilities for homosexual players which are entirely separate and distinct from the facilities used by heterosexual players." A violation of that provision would result in a fine between $3 million and $8 million.No word on what "facilities" means—do they get to play on the same field, or do they need to run their plays on a separate field nearby? What about the vending machines, can they use the same vending machines? Little vague here, fella.
Pushed by lobbyist Jack Burkman, CEO of Burkman Associates LLC, the bill would give the Department of Justice the power to enforce the ban. [...]
"I felt that if the NFL doesn't have any morals, and people like [Commissioner] Roger Goodell, who are just go-along-get-along guys, just want to appease advertisers, appease corporate America and all that stuff," he said earlier this week, "I figured, well, it is time for conservatives in Congress to step in and define morality for them."
Professional sports franchises are probably not the best places to be looking for moral leadership (see: everything). But let's ignore that part and just marvel at how very, very silly anti-LGBT reactionaries have gotten. They're beside themselves. The mere thought that gay Americans might not be being actively oppressed has sent them into fits. Burkman, here, is willing to make himself a national laughingstock (and, not incidentally, lose at least one client) in his quest to make sure that America's professional football players are not exposed to gay cooties.
Remember these times, America. Twenty years from now when everyone marvels at the thought that some people were insistent, insistent that gay Americans ought to be barred from certain businesses or be required to use separate services, remember the names of the people who demanded those things. Then we'll laugh at them all over again.